We lay, somehow touching one-another throughout the night as though if not touching, the dream of being in bed together, sleeping together would vanish and Barbara would be in bed with her husband and me, alone.
At times it might be no more then her toes on my calf, or my hand on her shoulder, and at times she would cuddle against my backside, or me her’s and yet, as though by the merest of touch we were reassuring each other that we were here, together, the touch was, at least for me, so subliminal that, although aware of being touched, and touching, I did not awake.
Cyber Affair 11
Day Two: Saturday June 18, 2009
Being an “early morning person”, awake now at 5:12 and, though not wanting to leave our bed... our bed
I love the morning, early morning.
All is quiet and it gives me time to think.
Almost all my creative writing was done in the morning then, later in the day, I would go back and clean it and refine it, but my mental, along with my physical energy is highest in the morning.
What I want to do, what I have dreamt of doing, is to lay in bed looking at her. What I want to do is have my mental camera clicking so for all the days, weeks, months and years that I will not be with her, to look at her, to see her, the picture of Barbara would always be here, in my mind.
I did not want to wake her, so quietly leaving our bed, going to the bathroom, I closed the door. Standing before the toilet, then brushing my teeth, I love you! The words repeating and repeating in my mind were: I love you....I love you!”
Taking my vitamins, I considered taking another Cialis but the effects were supposed to last for thirty-six hours and I had taken two pills yesterday. Besides, being my age, and not revitalizing as I had when younger, I kind of thought that I’d rather save “it” for tonight so, I thought, If she wants to, let’s see what happens.
I like to shave in the shower and I like the feel of a shaving brush on my face so, using an old porcelain covered tin cup as my shaving cup I – in actuality my shaving soap is the small ends of soap that become too small to wash or shower with that I drop into my cup – I lather my face at the sink and shave beneath my sideburns looking in the mirror, then do the rest of my face in the shower... Having this same face all these years, other than keeping my sideburns straight, I do not need a mirror to shave.
Standing in the shower, shaving, though since dinner last night I’ve fought the thought down, though I’ve tried to dwell on here, of now, I cannot help but think that in thirty-two hours... in thirty-two short hours Barbara and I will have to say goodbye, goodbye forever, and standing with hot water streaming over me, I was overtaken by a sense of deep depression.
“Mmmm. Come back, baby,” she muttered, moving her fingers in a ‘come on' motion, “lay...” she fell asleep.
The light blanket slipped off her shoulder and, looking at a sleep creased breast, I purposely helped the blanket along as I slipped back into bed. However feeling the motion, her arm draping over my hip, snuggling against me, cuddling against me with her head beneath my chin...
“Mmmm, you’re cool.”
Bringing her sleep-warmed body closely against my shower cooled body, feeling the softness of her breasts and the length of her body against mine, my face now in her hair, my hand over her hip holding a so warm, so soft cheek, this is all I want for whatever time we have left together; to be close to this woman.
“Mmmm...” wiggling her chubby, but to me, beautiful behind,
Sex not even a thought at this moment, “You feel so good.” I said.
Moving her hand from my shoulder, placing it beneath the blanket, covering it completely, her small hand closed over my shriveled penis and then, a few seconds later...
“Oh,” she said, “that’s sooo cute!”
Moving my head back so as to see her face, “What’s ‘so cute’?”
When a man and woman are together, in time a part of their repartee will turn to good natured bantering, however, when a lifetime must be lived in three days, the good natured bantering might show up a bit sooner then “in time.”
Moving my head back so as to see her face, “What’s so cute?”
Looking at me, apparently this being one of those, ‘a bit sooner then in time times’, “Your teeny weenie.” she said.
“ ‘My teeny weenie’, huh!” Playfully pushing Barbara onto her back, I attempted to kiss her, but...
Covering her mouth with her hand, “Oh, baby, let me brush my teeth first!”
“No!” I said, attempting to slip my mouth beneath her hand. “I want to kiss you,” I said in a very authoritative voice, “now!”
“No, I’m too stinky.”
“Okay, then, I agree, ‘you’re stinky’!”
Pushing me back, “What do you mean ‘I’m stinky’?”
Barbara’s hands off her mouth, I kissed her lightly on the lips. “Yeah, you really are stinky!”
“And you really are a teeny weenie!”
To be continued
©March 7, 2012 / Mark M. Lichterman