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Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado

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The Kind Of Stupid, Weird, Mondo Bizarro, Strange Day. ...
By Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado
Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Rated "G" by the Author.

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           >> View all 7,357

A teenage boy has a rather strange day.

I'm just glad this day is about overwith ...

It started out innocently enough: got up for school, ate breakfast, brushed my zubies, styled my hair, got dressed, grabbed my backpack, and headed out the door to wait for the bus.

No worries.  Nothing unusual.  I stood there as I waited for the bus.

The big yellow behemoth soon appeared.  I climbed aboard and found my favorite seat loacated in the back of the bus.  I waited for my friends ... only, to my horror, to discover that I was wearing SHORTS and sandals ... and it was colder than a monkey's tit out there ... and SNOWING!!  

I also discovered that my teeth tasted like ... like shaving cream!  Oh, joy!!  I had accidentally brushed my teeth with shaving cream instead of toothpaste!

THEN, if that were not enough, I noticed people smiling at me or snickering.  Maybe it was because of my strange dress up job or the nasty faces I was making.  I was suprised I wasn't burping bubbles ....  all I know was this: my breath tasted rather NASty ....

Once on school grounds, I exited the bus, only to trip and do a face plant right on the sidewalk.  The snow softened the blow a little, but not much.  It still hurt.  It's a wonder I didn't loosen any teeth!  I carefully picked myself up off the ground, dusted the snow off of me, cursed under my breath, picked up my backpack and put it back on my shoulders, and proceeded to go towards the building, hopefully nobody saw me fall.

The warmth of the building greeted me.  It wouldn't be long before I dried out and felt heat radiating through my veins once again.  I slunk to my first class, Homeroom, just before the bell rang to signal the start of a brand new day.

Mrs. Dibbs walked in and said that there were tornado warnings outside and we'd best take cover underneath our desks and cover our heads with our  hands and arms.  I glanced outside: nothing out of the ordinary, but it sure was snowing, harder now.  Weird!

Then on the way to my second class (English), this girl I had the hots for took one long look at me and hit me over the head with her algebra book and called me a stupid moron because she said I had spiked her Coke with jalapeno pepper sauce.  I did nothing of the sort!  She then stuck her tongue out at me anf flounced away, leaving me standing there, feeling pretty bewildered.

The day only got stranger as time went on.  At music class I got picked to sing a solo.  I don't know why.  I can't sing my way out of a paper bag: I am terribly tone deaf.  When I sing, dogs howl and people start telling me so sthut up and/or start throwing things at me.

At lunch, the lunch lady apologized for running out of won ton soup.  She said that the one person had to go to China to bring the won tons and that she'd be back in ten minutes.  That's when I noticed the soup was bright pink.

After lunch, it was History.  Mr. Delkins was talking about birth control and outdated gun laws.  He then started talking about his wife's wig and how it made her look like a clown.

At Math Class, Dr. Pratt started singing "I Love You Just The Way You Are" and stood on the desk as he did so.  All we could do was sit there in our seats and stare openmouthed at him.  This wasn't like Dr. Pratt at all.  Usually Dr. Pratt was all business: he was one never to do anything fun, let alone, act silly and totally off the wall!

By the time gym class rolled around, I was wondering what kind of strangeness would occur next.  Gym class was as strange as the others preceeding it: in gym, we were told to lie down on the ground and roll around like dogs and bark as loud as possible.  

In Science class, we talked about the life cycle of a Mexican jumping bean, then we read about auroras and talked about the sex life of an aurora and how they reproduced baby ones.  When the auroras were in love, they turned a bright vivid red in color.

The day was not making any sense whatsoever.  I was more than ready to climb back onto the bus and go home and try to make sense out of what happened during the day.  The bus soon appeared at 4:00 sharp; the driver then told us that he was taking us ... to Fairbanks, Alaska!

That was when I woke up.  I looked about me: no snow.  It was bright sunshine outside.  I was wrapped up in my blankets tighter than a drum and I had the end of my pillow in my mouth.  Ptui!  No wonder my mouth was so dry and no wonder my breath was fouler than usual!  I sighed happily as I got up and started my day.  I just hoped that my dream wasn't an indicator of how my day was going to be!  I had dealt with enough weird happenings in my dream: I wasn't ready to deal with more strange occurances in real life!!  

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Reviewed by Michelle Kidwell Power In The Pen 1/12/2012
Wow what an imagination Karen, great story, thanks for the smiles
In Christs Love
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner 1/12/2012
What I want to know: what did YOU eat before writing this nightmare? LOL Not that the story is a nightmare ... it's HILARIOUS. Very well written. It's just ... WEIRD. LOL Enjoyed this one, Karen!

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.
Reviewed by Paul Berube 1/12/2012
Quite the tale, Karen. Well done.

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