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Barbara Lynn Terry

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Natalie - A Journey Into Womanhood - Part I
By Barbara Lynn Terry
Friday, May 22, 2009

Rated "PG13" by the Author.

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Recent stories by Barbara Lynn Terry
· A Journey Off The Beaten Path
· Spring - Part III
· Sprng - Part II
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This story is written to show accepteance, love, and understanding in raising a transgendered child. If you think that this too overly optimistic, then lt me say that there are parents, friends, and teachers that do accept us for who we are as we are without trying to make us into something we can never be. Please leave an hoest comment after reading. Thank you.

This story is a work of fiction. Any similarities between any persons, living or dead, and any places, actions, dialogue, things, etc., is purely coincidental. This story is being written to show kindness, love, acceptance, understanding and family values for transsexuals and their families. This story involves a young male-to-female (M2F) transsexual. The medical procedures in this story are what all M2F transsexuals go through, either at the time of the complete operation, or even before. There is no actual violence, or sex involved, drug abuse, or child abuse either. My hope in writing this story is that people will see that we are only trying to live a peaceful life, as normal as we can. There is a foot note at the end of this story. Thank you all for reading. Barbara Lynn Terry.

Natalie - A Journey Into Womanhood


Hello everyone, my name is Natalie. That wasn't always my name though. This is my story of how I became Natalie. It starts when I was just eleven years old. I have nice sky blue eyes, light brown hair, I'm thin, but not skinny, and I am five foot, six inches tall. In my 30 years, I never grew another inch. I am the same height now, as I was then.

Chapter One

When I was in grade school, I was always the outcast, the one the boys never picked for their teams. I would sit and cry at times, and everyone would call me sissy or worse. The girls found it funny, and just laughed. Where did I fit in? What can I do to show them that I do fit in? One day it came to me, while I was in the sixth grade. If I came to school dressed as a girl, maybe I would be treated like one of the girls, maybe. So, when the bell rang for the end of school for the day, I walked home, listening to the nasty names and jeers from the boys, while the girls laughed and giggled. But I didn't let that bother me. Well, not too much anyway. As I got within a couple of houses away from my own, the boys and girls left, and I went inside. Mom would not be home for quite a while, and my sister was out with her friends. Dad was working, so I had the house to myself.

I went into my sister's room, and got out some of her underthings, a skirt, a blouse, knee hi white double knit socks, and a pair of black Mary Janes. I went into the bathroom and took a nice soothing bubble bath. I rinsed what suds were left, with the shower head, and took a soft terry towel and patted myself down. I found some body powder and sprinkled it all over me, and rubbed it in really good using soft circular motions. When there was no trace of the body powder, I went into the bedroom, and started to get dressed. First I put on a white training bra that my sister had in her drawer, then I put on the underpanties, then a white full slip, I put the blouse on next and then the tartan plaid skirt. Then came the socks and the shoes.

I stood up and walked over to the mirror. There in front of me stood a young girl, with a very short haircut. But there was something missing though. Girls have long hair. Wait! Mom has a wig. So I went into mom's room and got the wig out of her closet. She always kept it in a box. I stood in front of her mirror and put it on. I put it here and there until it looked like the girls at school looked with their hair. Then I looked in mom's full length mirror, and there stood a beautiful young girl. The part of my legs that showed from the hem of the skirt to the top of the knee hi socks, was a good compliment to the entire outfit.

Mom and dad wouldn't be home for another 4 hours, so I had plenty of time. I decided I needed to test this outfit and see if I got called any names. So, I started walking toward the theater, and as I walked I could hear the boys whistling in my direction. One boy, who didn't see my face, wanted to know if I had a boyfriend. I'm in the sixth grade, what do I need a boyfriend for? So I walked some more, and just as I had turned the corner, I saw my sister with her friends. Oh my gosh, if she sees me, I'm one dead girl. Anyway, I needed to test this to the fullest anyway, so here goes nothing.

My sister is 14, and she does a lot of reading. I did kinda look up to her, cause she was very smart. She was the same height as I was, and we did get along even though we argued a lot. I walked toward to where my sister was, and almost got past her, when she said to her friends.

"You know something, I have an outfit just like that at home. Hey! In the plaid skirt. Where did you get that outfit from?" I kept walking away from them, when my sister ran up to me, and turned me around. "I was asking you where you got that out...Nathan?!? What are you doing wearing my clothes?"

"I uhm, well I, oh gee sis, I just was trying to see if I could be accepted as a girl. I mean, I'm no good as a stupid boy. Everyone makes fun of me, calls me names. I just don't seem to fit in anywhere. The guys never pick me for their teams, because they say they don't allow girls. I guess I don't fit in as a girl either. I'm just so stupid."

"Nathan, you are not stupid. You do look pretty though. But mom is so going to kill you for wearing her wig." These girls were not calling me names, they weren't even laughing at me.

"Why aren't you calling me names like the...everyone else does? I'm just no good as a boy, and I'm not a girl. Where do I fit in?"

"Oh Natahn, c'mon, we were just going to go and get a soda. You come with us, and I bet the ones who were calling you names, won't any more."

"Are you sure sis?"

"Yes Nath...uhm Natalie. How do you like that name dear sister?"

"I uhm, gee I must be hearing things. Did you just call me 'dear sister?'"

"Yes dear sister, I did. But you know tho, mom and dad are going to have to know."

"Why? Why can't this just be our secret?"

"Because mom is going to accuse me of wearing her wig. She has a right to know why it got messed up. It isn't messed up bad though, just wind blown."

"All right I guess. But you have to help me tell them though."

"I will sis, I promise."

"Pinky swear?"

"Pinky swear."

We walked towards the mall, and the food court entrance. As we went in, I saw some of my classmates there, laughing and having a good time. We went to the Burger King stand, and ordered our sodas, and went to sit down. Of course wouldn't you know it though, Tommy Mason, the school bully, decided to pay us a visit. He had a thing for my sister, and even though she turned him down dozens of times, he kept asking her for a date. This time, it was a little different.

"Hey Jill, babes, who's your new friend?" Tommy asked as he looked at me. Then a deep thought creased his forehead, the only time he showed any signs of thinking, then he said to me. "I think I've seen you at school. What's your name, sweets?"

I looked him dead in the eye and said, "I am not your sweets creep, my name is Natalie, and I am Jill's sister."

"I didn't know Jill had a sister, just a bro..." that's when it hit thim. He bent over a little closer and said, "Nate is that you? Hey, I mean if this is the real you, you look very pretty.'

"Tommy," I said looking at him, "from now on this is going to be the real me. You guys never picked me for any of your teams, and you always call me nasty names, the girls always thought it was so funny. I need to fit in somewhere."

"Yeah, well I hope you can. But you do look pretty though. See ya around Natalie."

I looked at Jill and said with surprise in my voice, "What's with him? Since when did he ever have a conscience?"

"My dear sister, you don't have the girl feelings we have. He actually likes you. And I bet, when you go to school tomorrow, there won't be any name calling, or teasing."

"How do you know Jill? I mean, he's the one who started all those nasty names and teasings."

"I bet they stopped as of a few moments ago. You were looking at him with anger, and we were watching how he looked at you. Girls can tell when a guy likes them, or one of their friends, or sisters. What we saw was a guy who likes you, a guy who just came down off of his high horse."

"All right Jill, I guess maybe you're right. I hope."

Then we just sat there and drank our sodas, and talked about how we were going to tell mom and dad of my needing to be the girl I have always been. I kept sneaking looks over at Tommy, who was doing the same to me. Of course we quickly looked away, when we saw the other was looking. But my sister and her friends all knew what I was doing, and what Tommy was doing. But they never said a word.

"So it's settled then. Natalie, we will get home just about the same time as mom and dad. Ginger and Sue will be there too."

"All right sis. Thanks."

Ginger Schultz was a typical brunette, with medium brown hair and natural highlights. She had a nice figure, but not one to die for. Her complexion was flawless, and she wore the best outfits she could find on her allowance. The clothes her parents bought, she rarely wore. Sue Adams was a redhead, well actually her hair was light auburn, and the same height as the rest of us. Oh! I'm sorry, I forgot to tell you about me, a little more. I am five foot, six inches tall, and the girls, well a little shorter, but not by much. So we just say we're the same height. As we sat there some more after our sodas were all gone, we just talked and looked over at the boys. I wanted another excuse to look at Tommy, who was finding excuses to look at me.

We decided we were finished, I finger waved at Tommy who waved back. I smiled and followed the girls out of the mall. The dead heat was coming up. Mom would probably be okay with this, but dad would blow a gasket. I know he will. But Jill promised to help, and she always kept her word.

"Natalie," Jill said as we walked to the car. "When we get home, I want you to go right to mom and dad, and let them see you. Then go up to daddy and put your arms around his neck and give him a big hug, and tell him you love him. Give mom a hug too, and whisper in her ear, so daddy can't hear you, that your name is Natalie. We will be right by the door where they are, and when you have given mom a hug, then we will come in, and I will do the same. Now daddy's going to be confused for a bit and reeling. So he isn't going to connect this right away, with this being the real you. Understand sis?"

"Yes Jill, I understand," I said with a smile. We got into the car, and all of a sudden Jill got an idea, and we headed back to the mall. When we went in, we went right to the piercing pagoda, and Jill was looking at some very nice hoops. The lady came over and asked which one was getting her ears pierced, and the other three said, pointing to me, "she is." The lady took me to a chair, and I sat down.

"What's your name, honey?"


"Very pretty name." Then she placed this thing on my ear, I heard a pip, and the stud was in. Then the same with the other ear. Jill bought the hoops for me, for when my ear holes healed up. Then we headed for the car.

"So okay then, your ears are permanently pierced now, Natalie. Tonight, I will show you how to pluck your eyebrows."

"Okay Jill. Uhm, what about makeup?"

"Oh yes, makeup. Well, that is really simpler than plucking your eyebrows."

"Jill, why are you helping me? I mean we have always fought, and you always tried to get me in trouble."

"That was because you were my jerk of a brother, and now you are my sister. Today is going to be the no turning back day. Let me ask you something tho, Natalie. Do you really, really, want to be a girl, you know, physically? I mean the whole operation bit and everything?" I told you she was smart and did a lot of reading.

"Oh yes, Jill. More than anything in the world."

"Good! Then we will help you be the girl you have always been."

Ginger and Sue both agreed that, since I was brave enough to venture outside dressed as a girl, they would help me be the girl I need to be.

Chapter Two - Telling Mom

We pulled into the driveway of our house, and mom's car was already there. I had such a nervous feeling inside. I felt like, what if mom doesn't go for this? What if she tells me to go and change? Would she yell at me? Or, would she hug me, and welcome me as her daughter? All of these thoughts were going through my mind, as we walked into the house.

"Mom?" Jill called out in a questioning voice.

"In the den honey," mom answered.

We went into the den, where mom was sitting at her desk, doing something for work. She looked up, as all four of us walked in.

"Hi girls. Whose your friend?"

"Mom," Jill said looking at me. "I want you to meet my sister, Natalie. Doesn't she look very pretty, mom?"

Mom just sat there because what she just heard, didn't register at first.

"Your sister Jill? That's nice to have friends that can be your sis...Nathan?!? Is that you?"

"Yes mother, but the name is Natalie now, and I am hoping that I can be Natalie forever."

Mom got up from her chair, and gave me the biggest hug you could imagine. She then looked me over, all around and head to toe.

"My, I must say, you do look very pretty Natalie. But tell me something though. How long have you wanted to be a girl?"

"Forever, Mom, forever."

"But you never dressed in my clothes, or your sister's clothes that I know of."

"Yes I have mother, for a long time. Today I wanted to see just how I would be accepted as a girl. So I got dressed like this and went out. Jill and her friends didn't recognize me at first. But then we got to talking. Jill, Ginger and Sue said they will help me in makeup, dressing like I should, and giving me lessons on how to really act."

"Ok sweetie, if this is what you want, then I won't stop you. Your father isn't home yet, so when he does get home, let me talk to him. I am going to enjoy having two daughters. We are going to have such fun. But Natalie, I want you to understand, you will have to see a therapist though. Just to make sure that you are not mentally ill. Is that okay with you, dear?"

"Yes mother, it is."

"Good. Then when your father gets home, you girls go to Jill's room, and let me talk to him first. Okay?"

"Yes mother," I said with a big smile. I gave her a big hug and Jill did the same, then we went to Jill's room.

While we were in my sister's room, we all sat around, and talked about things I should know about being a girl in public. We talked about mom not saying anything about my wearing her wig, or my sister's clothes. Jill didn't yell at me for wearing her clothes either.

"Natalie, come here and I will show you how to pluck your eyebrows. You start from the bottom of the brow until you get the desired feminine arch you want. Girls pluck their brows the same way, but some are thin arches, others are just so the straggly hairs are gone, sorta like mine. Okay, starting from the nose outward, and the bottom of the brow, pluck a few hairs out, and let me see how you do."

"All right, sis."

I took the tweezers, and began plucking my eyebrows. I started from the nose outward, and from the bottom of the brow. Five minutes later, one eyebrow was finished. Then I started on the other one. Both brows, and the hair between them was finished in fifteen minutes. Jill looked at me when I was done, and plucked one hair out that I missed.

"You did that just like a girl, Natalie. I'm so going to love having a sister. Okay, now for a little makeup. Your skin tone is light, and you should use natural colors to enhance your beauty. The first thing you do sis, is wash your face very good, to clean out the pores. Then you apply a little liquid foundation, and brush some powder over that. Go ahead sis, show me how you would put makeup on."

I went into the bathroom and washed my face. I went back into Jill's room, and sat down at her vanity. I took her eyeshadow, without even asking, and applied two colors, which I blended together, then I took the eyeliner pencil, and put the eyeliner on both the upper lid just above the eyelashes, and on the bottom lid too. I took the liquid foundation and I put it here and there all over my face in little dots first. Then I took a makeup sponge and blended the foundation in. Then I took a powder brush, and brushed the powder on.  Then I took her mascara, and applied that like I had been doing this all of my life. I then used a soft pink lipstick, and I was finished.

"Natalie, you have been wearing makeup for a while. Haven't you?"

"Yes sis. Everytime I was home alone, I experimented."

"Well, I can see that your decision to be my sister, is the right one. You're a natural for a girl."

"Thanks sis. I hear mom calling me. I think dad's home."

"Okay, let's all go down together then."

We went downstairs, and into the den. Mom and dad were sitting there, talking as we walked in.

"Hi daddy," I said with a beaming smile, while giving him a big hug.

"Hi daddy," Jill said too and giving daddy a big hug.

"Hello. I guess I'm outnumbered three to one, on having two daughters. Your mother has told me you look great. But I see four young ladies here. Where is Natalie?"

"Daddy I am right here. As if you didn't know." We all laughed about that, and then daddy said.

"I'm not sure I understand, and I am a little disappointed that my son has disappeared. I really wish I would have had time to say goodbye to him, before he left."

"Oh daddy, I have always been Natalie. That boy, Nathan, he never existed anyway, except on official papers. Daddy, I have been Natalie all of my life."

"Natalie?" Mom asked, looking at me. "Did the girls help you with your eyebrows, and makeup?"

"Well Jill explained how to do the eyebrows, but I did everything myself." She got up and gave me a hug.

"Welcome home, Natalie," my mother said looking at my makeup, and not believing I did it myself.

"Daddy, I don't want you to think that I have deserted you though. I mean, wouldn't you rather I live a happy life, instead of one that everyone thinks I should live? If I lived the life everyone expected me to, I would be miserable all of my life. And daddy, I need to be happy."

"This is going to take some getting used to. I mean, I had a son this morning, what happened to him?"

"He became the person he really has been all along. Daddy, I'm still the same inside. I just need to be who I am and hopefully, you can love me as Natalie, as you did that boy, who was only pretending to be a boy."

"I don't understand this. What do you mean, pretending to be a boy?"

"Daddy, I never liked wearing boy clothes. They're heavy, scratchy, and very stiff. I never liked being called a he, or young man. I never liked trying to play sports, and no one ever picked me for any of their teams anyway. The boys just said they don't play with girls. I never liked doing a lot of the things you thought I should do. Daddy, I'm a girl, and girls need to be soft, and pretty. We should be dressed the way I am right now, or as cute as we can. Daddy, I love you, but you have to know that this is the real me, the person you see now, is who I have always been."

"Well, I can't say as I agree with you, but I do want you to be happy though. I mean if this is the real you, then I guess I'll get used to it in time."

Chapter Three - Natalie Goes To School

We sat down to dinner, and daddy just kept silent for a long while. Then he looked at me, and just shook his head. He mumbled something no one could hear, but we just let it go. Mom started the talk by asking us what we did while we were out. Jill was the first to answer that question.

"Well, when we first saw Natalie walking, we told her we needed to get a soda, and since the mall was right there, that's where we went. Then we stopped, and I got my sister a present. I had her get her ears pierced."

"Yes," my mother said, looking at the studs in my ears. "They look very pretty dear."

"Thank you, mom," I said with a smile, and then I looked at daddy who was just shaking his head.

"Natalie dear, what are you wearing for school tomorrow?"

"I have an outfit she can wear mom," Jill said looking at me with a smile.

I returned the smile, and thought that Jill certainly is going out of her way to help. It is still basically warm out to wear a dress, or skirt outfit. I will have to talk to Jill about it when dinner is over.

"You know Natalie, I am going to have to see about you seeing a therapist. This is just so we can get you started on hormones right away."

"Okay mom. I would rather see a woman therapist tho, if I can."

"Yes, I think that would be best too. I'll call the hotline and see who they recommend for something like this."

Dinner was over, and mom, Jill and I, cleaned off the table and took all of the dishes and leftovers in the kitchen. I went back into the dining room and cleaned off the table, which daddy was still sitting at. I said excuse me and he lifted his paper so I could clean where he spilled maybe a whole cup of coffee. With the table clean, I went back into the kitchen to help wash the dishes. I washed, and Jill and mom put them away.

"Mom, do you think you could teach me how to cook? I mean I'd just love to learn to cook so that maybe someday my boyfriend, fiance or husband, can taste what I cook."

"Yeah, and not only food you'd be cooking either sister," my sister said jokingly. I flicked a little water her way, and we all giggled.

"Yes honey, I think that would be a good idea. Cooking can be a rewarding thing too."

"Thanks mom. I'm also going to see if I can get my gym class switched for home ec too."

"You know dear, maybe I can help there. I think home ec would do you a world of good."

"Thanks mom," I said, giving her a hug.

As we finished the last dish, we wiped out the sink and hung the wash cloth and towel so they could dry. They'd have to go in the laundry later. I knew how to wash clothes, separate them, and how much detergent to use. We used a detergent that had a bleach alternative in it, and that made the colors of the clothes stand out brighter. Then Jill told me to come to her room, so we could find an outfit for me to wear to school tomorrow. I was happy that my family at least accepted me for being Natalie, and now the school will have to too. When I see whatever therapist mom makes an appointmnet for me for, I will ask her if she'll make a recommendation to the children's court to get my name and gender changed. That way I can go through school as the girl I have always been.

In Jill's room, there were clothes she actually never wore. She told me take off the skirt and blouse I was wearing, and she pulled out a really nice, but simple cream colored dress. She told me to put it on. After Jill helped me zip up the back, she told me to look in the full length mirror on the inside of her closet door.

"Oh wow sis, is that really me?"

"Yes Natalie. That is my sister and she is very pretty."

"Thanks Jill," I said giving her a hug.

I took the dress and another change of undergarments and went to my room. I hung the dress across one corner of my dresser mirror. I went into the bathroom to take my shower, and wash my hair. I used the Dove shampoo and conditioner my mother bought, I rinsed off, and stepped out of the shower, turning it off. I patted down with a soft terry towel, hung up the towel and put lotion and powder on me, and then got into my nightgown that Jill let me have. Tomorrow Natalie goes to school for the first time. I shouldn't have any trouble, hopefully, but just in case, I'm ready for it. I got into bed and fell asleep almost immediately. I dreamed about my first day of school and meeting a boy who would like me for me. But I hate going to bed, and seemingly waking up right away. The alarm went off, and I swung both legs out of bed, and went into the bathroom and did my toiletries, and then took another shower, putting on my sister's bathing cap, so my hair wouldn't get wet.

I went in my room, and got into the dress and underclothes Jill let me have. I looked at myself in the mirror. I saw that I needed a little makeup, so I went to Jill for a little help. I knocked on her door, and she told me to come in.

"Jill, may I borrow some makeup, please?"

"Yes Natalie, you may. That dress looks very good on you sis. You can keep that and the skirt outfit you wore yesterday. They are my gifts to my sister."

"Thanks sis, I really appreciate this very much."

I sat down and took the liquid foundation and blended it into my skin, using an upwards motion with the makeup sponge. I then took the powder, and brushed that over the foundation in upward sweeps. Then I looked at my eyes, and they needed a little mascara. Eye makeup? I don't think mom would let me wear eye shadow or eye liner yet, even though I wore some last night. But after applying the mascara, I looked at myself again, and even Jill agreed, I was ready for school.

We went downstairs, and I ate a piece of jelly toast with a glass of milk, and mom drove us to school. She parked the car by the front door, and we got out and walked to the building, then mom drove away. As we were walking, I was getting strange looks from the boys. The girls all smiled and said I was pretty. As I got to my locker and opened it, I was cornered by three boys. These boys were Tommy Mason's friends.

"Hey guys, I told ya she was a girl. That's why we never picked her for playing on our teams. Girls can't take the rough play." Mark Allen said with a smirk.

"Yeah, that's why they call them the weaker sex." Jimmy Collander remarked.

"Hey guys, maybe she'd like to go to the dance in two weeks." Bobby Holland added.

Mark, Jimmy and Bobby looked like they just stepped out of the 1950's. They all had their hair combed like Fonzie, and wore denim jeans, white tee shirts, and black leather jackets, along with black motorcycle boots. They were taller than me by a few inches, so I had no choice but to stand there and take what they dished out. I think Tommy materialized from out of nowhere, when he appreared behind Bobby.

"Guys, why are you picking on Natalie? Did she say something to you?"

All three of them started talking at once. Tommy put his hand up, and said to all three of them.

"I want it understood that Natalie is a friend of mine. I will do whatever I can to protect her from bullies. You guys understand?"

They all nodded their heads and left. Tommy stayed for a bit, while I got my books out of my locker.

"I told you that you were pretty. You make a fine looking girl, Natalie."

"Thanks Tommy, for everything. I have to get to class or I'll be late."

"We're in the same classes Natalie, let me carry your books." I gave him my books, and just smiled. Tommy might be a bully, but he has been sweet to me twice now. As we entered the classroom door, no one said anything except the teacher.

"All right, take your seats."

I sat down and the teacher took roll call. When she got to my name she did a double take on it. "Nath...uhm Natalie Crane?"

"Here ma'am," I said to the cheers and jeers of the class.

"Well Natalie, I must say that dress becomes you. But I want to know something though. Is this an experiemnt in crossdressing, Natalie?"

"No ma'am," I said getting up from my desk. "May I say something to the class, ma'am? Please?"

"Yes Natalie, you may."

I walked to the front of the class, and stood with my hands folded in front of me, and told the class who I am, and why.

"My name is Natalie Ellen Crane. I am eleven years old, and I have had these feelings of being a girl ever since I can remember. I don't now why I have these feelings, but I do and they have been a big part of me forever. My mom is going to make an appointment for me to see a therapist, to make sure I am not  mentallly ill. You see I am not a boy, I don't like being called a boy, and it does hurt when people call me names, or beat me up because I am different. I am just a normal girl trying to fit in, in a body that doesn't fit. If I could right now today, have the operation to make me the girl physically, like I am inside, I would, and then I would be a whole person."

"I don't understand something then," Bobby said. "We always thought you were just gay. We had no idea that you really wanted to be a girl."

"Bobby, I don't want to be a girl," I said as I watched the confused look on his face. "I am a girl. You can't want to be someone that you already are. Bobby if someone asked you why do want to be a boy, you'd tell them you are a boy. Right?"

"Uh, yeah I guess so."

"So you see, you can't want to be someone you already are. I'm a girl," I said pointing to my heart. "When we are someone other than what our bodies are, we have to be that person that is inside each and every one of us. If we are not that person, then we are very sad, and live sad lives. I want to be happy, I want to be me, I need to be the girl on the outside that I am on the inside. Does anyone have any questions?"

No one raised their hands, so the teacher, Miss Hawkins, told me to take my seat. Miss Hawkins looked like she was just out of college. She had really nice blonde hair, and a nice figure. She always smiled, and never said anything negative about anyone. I went and sat down, and the girls around me told me I was very brave for doing what I did. I just looked at them and smiled. Since everyone of us were in the same classes all day long, except for the gym classes, there was no need to repeat it throughout the day. As the final bell rang for the end of the school day, we all got up and went to our lockers. I put away the books I didn't need and only took the ones I had homework for. Tommy I think is a magician, because he appeared out of nowhere again.

"Natalie, those books look heavy. Let me carry them for you." I gave Tommy my books, and just smiled at him, as we walked out of school, and toward my house. I couldn't help but admire Tommy, because before he saw me at the mall, he always picked on me and called me names along with his friends. Now he was carrying my books? And, more than once in one day too? Oh My Gawd!

"Natalie," Tommy said looking at me, without breaking his stride. "I love you the way you are now. You are very pretty for a girl, and you put some of these girls to shame too. I uhm, I uhm need to ask you something Natalie. Will you be my girlfriend?"

I think I'm dreaming. There are many natural girls in school, but he wants to be MY boyfriend? Wow! Somebody pinch me, because Tommy is a hunk to die for. I mean yeah, he has a normal male ego, but he is also sweet too when it comes to people he really likes. I couldn't help but ponder on his question, which I didn't answer right away. When we got to my house, he was ready to leave.

"Uhm Tommy, would you like to come in, please?"

"Uhm, yeah okay. I'd like that."

We went inside and he carried my books in, and I told him to set them on the coffee table, which he did, and then he sat down on the couch.


"In the kitchen dear."

"I have someone I'd like you to meet." Mom came into the living room, and looked at Tommy, and then at me.

"Whose your friend, Natalie?"

"Mom, this is Tommy Mason. He carried my books for me today and on the way home too. He wants me to be his girlfriend."

"Did you tell him that you're not a girl yet. I mean, physically?"

"Yes mom, he does know, but he said he still wants to be my boyfriend. Is it okay mom?"

"Well Natalie, I think we should discuss this over dinner. Tommy can you stay for dinner?"

"Yes, if I call my mom and ask her."

"All right dear, the phone is over there." Tommy called his mother.

"Mom," Tommy said into the phone. "I met this friend at school today and I want to know if I can have dinner at her house. Her mom seems really cool, and they want to discuss some things at dinner. Oh? You do? Wait a second mom. My mother wants to know if she can come and have dinner with us too."

"Why yes, Tommy. That would be a great idea."

"Mom, Natalie's mom said it would be okay. Okay mom, I'll tell them, bye for now. My mother said she will be right over. I told her about Natalie yesterday when I met her at the mall. My mother wants to meet you Natalie. She is very interested in what I told her about you, and it was nothing bad either."

"Tommy Mason, you jerk, you're just a big softie."

"Yes I am Natalie, but don't tell everyone tho."

"Oh, your secret is safe with me stud."

"Stud?" My mother asked questioningly.

"MOM!!!!! Look at him. He's a stud if I ever seen one. And, he has a decent attitude too, at least towards me."

"Yes he does dear. Tommy I...." Mom was interrupted by a knock on the front door.

I answered the door, and there was a lady there. "Yes ma'am, may I help you?"

"Why yes, young lady, you can. I'm Tommy's mother, and you must be Natalie. It is so nice to meet you dear."

"It is nice to meet you too ma'am."

I opened the door wider. "Won't you please come in. Everyone is in the living room, straight ahead."

"Thank you, and you have such decent manners too. How old are you, Natalie?"

"I'm eleven ma'am."

"Oh my, as old as that huh. I'll trade you ages." We both giggled, and then we were in the living room.

"Mom," Tommy said getting up. "This is Natalie Crane, and her mother. Her father isn't home yet, and her sister Jill is in her room."

"Well, I am glad to meet you all. My name is Brenda," she said offering her hand to my mother.

"And I am Nancy. When Natalie was real little she used to call me Nana, cause she couldn't say Nancy."

"I bet that was so cute." Of course I blushed but girls are allowed to do that.

"Oh yes it was, and here she is now, eleven years old, and already has a boyfriend. I swear Brenda, girls start getting boyfriends earlier and ealier these days."

"Isn't it the truth, Nancy. I couldn't have a boyfriend til I was at least fourteen and couldn't date without a chaperone until I was sixteen."

"Oh wait, I think I hear my husband coming in. Yes, there he is. David, we have company."

"Company hey. That's good. Hello, I'm David Crane," he said extending his hand to Tommy.

"Hello sir, it is nice to meet you. I'm Tommy Mason sir, and this is my mother."

"Brenda," she said offering her hand to my father.

"So, what is the occasion of having company tonight, dear?"

"Tommy and his mother are staying for dinner David, so we can discuss something of importance for both our youngest daughter, and Tommy."

"Ok, sounds good to me. I'll go and wash up. I'll be right back."

"Okay dear, dinner is ready whenever you are. Natalie will you get Jill please, and tell her we are eating as soon as your father gets down here."

"Yes mother."

I went to Jill's room and knocked on her door. When she said come in, I went in and told her about dinner.

"And Tommy and his mother are here too. They're staying for dinner."

"See, I told you he likes you. He was carrying your books all over school today." She smiled and gave me a big hug. "It is going to be so nice having a sister to talk to about boys, and outfits, and makeup. C'mon little sister, let's go down and have dinner."

We went downstairs and into the dining room. Everyone was just getting to their seats, as we walked in. Daddy said grace, and then we all sat down.

"Dear?" Mom said inquiringly to my daddy. "We need to talk about whether or not, Natalie is too young to have a boyfriend. Tommy asked her today if she would be his girlfriend on the way home from school. What do you think, dear?"

"Well, I have to ask Tommy what he means by girlfriend," my daddy said, matter of factly.

"Sir," Tommy started to say. "I mean by wanting Natalie for my girlfriend is, that I like her for a friend. And since she is a girl, she will be my girlfriend. I don't mean like going on dates or anything like that, except I'd like to buy her a soda, and be with her. She is a very pretty, and a very nice girl, sir. If Natalie and I were just friends, and we could study together, walk together, sit and watch television together, be invited to each other's house for dinners, then that's what I mean by girlfriend, sir."

"Mrs. Mason, uhm Brenda, you have a very nice mannered son. I would only say that because of their ages, that they would have to be chaperoned at all times, when they are together. I want my daughter to stay nicely mannered as well, just like you would your son. I am concerned tho, that if they were not chaperoned, they could get into some kind of mischief, all children their age are apt to get into. What do you think, Brenda?"

"I think you're right, Mr. Crane. Children their age should be chaperoned. Tommy has gotten into mischief before, but that was with his rowdy friends. When I came to this house, Natalie answered the door, and she was very well mannered too, I must say. You have a very well mannered and beautiful daughter in Natalie, David. And I too would like these young people to stay the way they are. Tommy, what do you think?"

"Mom, Mr. and Mrs. Crane, Natalie, Jill, I want the same things too. I know that Natalie and I are the same age, but when I look at Natalie, I see someone so pure and honest, that to be friends with her is going to be the greatest."

"Young man," my daddy said looking at Tommy with a serious expression. "I'm so glad that you feel that way. In that case, if it is all right with Natalie's mother, I will have no objection to the two of you being friends."

"I don't either dear," my mother also said, looking at me with a smile. "But young lady, we need to have a talk about what is proper behavior for a girl, when she is with a boy."

"Yes mother."

"I must say that you two have such nice children. Natalie, may I speak with you in private dear?"

"Yes Mrs. Mason, you may."

We went into the my mother's den, and then Tommy's mother started by saying.

"Young lady, Tommy tells me that you aren't all girl yet. That is fine with me though. Do you know what they call a person like you, dear?"

"No ma'am. I just need to be the girl on the outside like I have always been on the inside."

"And you will make a fine girl too, Natalie. They call people like you transsexual. That means, you feel that you were born in the wrong body. You feel like you should have been born a girl. Is that right, dear?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Good, I know that your mother and sister will help you be a proper girl. I'm glad my Tommy met you, and wants to be your friend. He also told me that if things work out, that he hopes to be your boyfriend forever."

"Really, Mrs. Mason? That would be so cool."

"You even talk like a girl. I am glad that I have met you."

"And I am glad that I have met you too, Mrs. Mason."

We went back into the dining room, and everyone was like okay, tell us what you two talked about. Anyway, I told mom and everyone we just talked about girl things, and they all let it go at that.

My father then looked really serious, when he said to me and Tommy.

"You two young people know that you're not going to be allowed out after dark by yourselves, don't you? I mean it is for your own safety right now. I don't mind Natalie going over by Tommy's to watch television, or study, or for dinners, but if it is after dark, Natalie is to call home and I, or her mother, will come and pick her up. Is that understood, young lady?"

"Yes daddy. And if Mrs. Mason brings me home, I'll call to let you know."

"Very good." Dinner was over, and mom, Jill and I started to clean off the table. Tommy's mother helpd too, while daddy and Tommy went into the living room for a talk. I separated the dishes, and ran the water in the sink with detergent.

"Sis, you washed yesterday, I'll wash today." Jill said with a beaming smile. That's when it first hit me, that Jill was serious about being sisters.

"Do you always switch off washing dishes, dear?" Tommy's mom asked.

"Yes we do, Mrs. Mason. We're a family, and a family that works together, has love for each other, and is there for each other, is a family that stays together."

"Why Jill that is a really nice way to look at it. And I believe that too. I know the kids at school regarded Tommy as a bully, but really, he is a sweet boy, and he helps me too, with things."

That was the first time I had ever heard a kind word about Tommy from someone other than me. The dishes were finished, so we all went into the living room. My mother looked over at daddy.

"So? What were you two in here talking about so long?"

"Oh nothing important dear. I just told Tommy that he better treat my daughter with respect or I'd box his ears."

"DADDY!!!!!!" I screached, running over to Tommy and giving him a hug. "He's the only boy who has shown me any kindness. Please don't scare him away."

"All right punkin', I won't."


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Reviewed by Regis Auffray 7/22/2011
A most engaging and meaningful write, Barbara. Thank you for sharing it. Love and my very best wishes to you,

Reviewed by m j hollingshead 7/4/2010
interesting read
Reviewed by 000 000 5/25/2009
Dear Barbie,
Such a wonderfully heart tugging story. As we grow, we are taught many things, and to change views is rough. Your story allows others to realize things are not always the way we think they should be...just because our parents and society say so. I look forward to part two, and thank you dear Barbie for sharing this.
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 5/23/2009
Thank you for sharing...this was written with so much love and understanding. Only someone who knows and understand could do this...I am so proud to be called a friend of yours!!

I trully enjoyed the read!!


Now I need to read part two!!
Reviewed by Chantilly Lace 5/23/2009
Very well done indeed sweet lady...enjoyed very much..stay safe and well..Hugsss.....
Reviewed by Michelle Kidwell Power In The Pen 5/22/2009
This is very well written, a story of acceptance, that everyone should read, thank you for sharing
In Christs Love
Reviewed by +Steven Curtis Lance 5/22/2009
So mote it be, little sister, so mote it be. Before I read this story I read your own story once again, and all I can say is I believe I honestly do understand how you feel; I know I didn't go through all the hell you went through with you, but I went through all the hell I went through alone, and, frankly, I wish I'd known you then, so that we might have encouraged one another as we traveled alongside.

I believe with all my heart that you are indeed a girl, and I only hope and pray that you will have happy years of life in which to heal, to live, and to love.

I want to thank you for bravely sharing this story, your story, and yourself with us.

I'm no macho man. You're the kind of hero for me, the sort of courageous seeker after truth and justice who makes me proud to be a human being.

God bless you, Barbie. I want so much for you to be happy, and healthy too. Take care of yourself, and know a lot of people think you're pretty cool.

Mille grazie, tutti respetti, and ciao for now. Keep fighting; keep writing.

Love and solidarity forever,

Reviewed by Chanti Niven 5/22/2009
So well written Barbs. You have a real talent. I'm looking forward to reading part 2.
With love Chants
Reviewed by Felix Perry 5/22/2009
Hmnnn this sounds like the way things should work in a perfect world if that is what you are trying to create but in reality....


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