I sit here, wondering what in the hell is gonna happen.  As we remember the seven-year anniverssary of Hurricane Katrina, I once again worry about the area I used to call home: Hurricane Isaac (since downgraded to a tropical storm) is going through that area, but not without causing widespread flooding, power outages, and renewed heartache.

It's like Hurricane Katriana visiting New Orleans, Louisiana, all over again, but on a much smaller scale, of course.  I have been watching CNN to get all of the latest happenings from that area, and it's enough to break my spirit.  I once again feel the pain of loss and hopelessness as I once again reckon with the memory of losing Mom, Pop, my younger brother, Shaquarious, and my little sisters Shenice, ShaKonya, and Sheena.

Had they survived, my brother would be 18 while my sisters would have been 14, 11, and 16.  I am the only surviving member of my immediate family; I am now 22 years old, still living here with my aunt and uncle, who have adopted me as their son; but it's not the same.  They're not the parents who raised me.

Good thing I am off work today.  All I've done was sit at the computer, hoping to get the latest news from Facebook or Twitter, or watch CNN.  Maybe it was a mistake to tune in, but Louisiana was my home until 7 years ago; I knew New Orleans like a book.  I wonder if any of my homies back there got out safely or got to shelter; I wonder if anybody was hurt or killed, or how many people are reported missing as a result of Isaac.  Didn't help that some of the levees breeched their banks, thus exacerbating the situation, making it worse.  

My aunt and uncle keep telling me to go outside to get some fresh air, but I can't help it.  I have to know the latest about Isaac (now a tropical storm, well inland, slowly meandering its way northwestward).  Isaac may no longer be a hurricane, but he's still packing a pretty powreful punch with excessive rains, flooding, power outages, wind gusts over80 mph at times, and even spinning brief tornadoes.  I can't help but worry.

I am trying to pray to God, but I find it hard to.  My heart is heavy with grief and pain as I remember my own loss and the loss of friends who drowned in the storm surge or got blown away (literally).  All I can do is sit here and cry.

I am glad I survived, but I wonder how many Katrina survivors have returned home or if they got out of Isaac's way, or if they have the same feelings I do today (probably so).  I wonder if any of them are hurt or dead.  I wonder what the total cost of damage is going to be or if President Obama is gonna go there and help (he needs to).

Well, I am crying again; seems that's all I've done lately.  God**** it, I hate crying like a goog!  I'm a grown man of 22, not a sniveling little kid!!  When is all of this gonna end??  What's gonna happen to the people in the Gulf Coast States??  Who's gonna reach out in their time of need??