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Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado

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An Obnoxious Bird...MacIntosh's Story
By Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado
Saturday, February 07, 2004

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A bird shares his story.

SQUAWWWWK!! Hello! Hello! Anyone home??

This is MacIntosh. I am a very Pretty Boy! (In case you don't know, I happen to be a Bird. Yeah, that's right..a BIRD.) I am a 20-year-old Macaw from the Amazon Jungle in South America (at least, my Ancestors are there!). I am a Pretty Bird: I am blue and yellow, and I am BIG! When you come into my House, you'll most definitely see me. I am in the Livingroom, in my Cage, and people don't miss me when they come into my Humans' House!

My Humans are the Sanduskys. There's Papa Sandusky, his Wife, Mama Sandusky, and their Human Kids. There's a whole Flock of them; it seems that Kids are EVERYWHERE! A poor Bird like me NEVER gets any moment's rest...Between the Kids and the Cats, I don't know what's WORSE! SQUAWWWWWK...

I have been with my Humans for ten years; I joined their Flock when I was ten. I am now 20; and I can be expected to live as long as fifty more years if my Humans take good care of me. They DO, too. They clean up my Messes, my Feathers, and any Food I may drop. They also pick up my Toys and get me new ones when I get bored with my old Toys. They sometimes get mad at me because they say I am "messy" (ME "messy"; what about THEM?? Some of the Kids are PIGS; stuff everywhere!), and they say that I am a bother! But they still do take care of me, and when I get sick, I go to the Bird Doctor to get Medicine and Treatment; and in a few days, I am usually better.

As a Bird, I like to look at my reflection in the mirror (boy, am I a good-lookin' guy...), play with my Toys, talk, watch TV (I especially love to watch Music shows; I LOVE Rock Music!) and dance to the Music on the TV, sing, do tricks like somersaults, roller skating, count, and imitate the phone ringing. I also love to EAT! (My favorite Foods are Fruits like Orange and Apple Pieces, Banana Pieces, Cherries, Grapes, Strawberries, and Melons, Nuts, and Bird Seed.) In addition to the above, I also love to excercise. Every evening, for an hour, I get to get out of my Cagely Home, and I get to exercise my Wings, which is always a BLAST! That is probably my favorite time of the Day because I get to see other parts of the House, and that is always exciting! SQUAWWKKKK!!

I am a good Bird; I am smart, and I know a lot of different things. I love to watch R-rated Movies and Rock Music Videos on tv (this is where I learned my second language, Curse Word; I can say some really colorful Words; but my Humans get so mad at me! They keep threatening to duct-tape my beak shut if they hear any more cursing from me! LOL I can Curse in English, Spanish, Vietnamese, Korean, French, and Chinese; I am a very smart Bird!), and I also love to "dirty dance". I could maybe show that Patrick Swayze a few new Moves...LOL My Human Mama is kinda' mad at me because some of HER Human Kids are starting to say some of the Words I say, and if there is ONE thing my Human Mama does NOT like, it's CUSSING! It makes her want to SQUAWWWKK!!...

The Sandusky Humans used to have another Bird, a Yellow Canary they named "The Yellow Bomber" (the Bird liked to divebomb them when they least expected it! Personally, I thought it was hilarious! Everytime that stupid Canary Bird would divebomb them, oh, how the Humans would SCATTER! LOL I still remember the scared looks on their faces!), but "T.Y.B." got sick and died; and now I am the only Bird left. They do have Dogs and Cats, and they also have Horses (but the Horses are outside; just wanted you to let you know that the Horses are NOT inside! LOL). They also have a Snake and some Gerbils, which to me look like Rats.

I will write more later; but right now I am going to sleep; it's my Naptime. I want to get some sleep before the Humans come Home. (They went shopping; they go every Saturday, so as long as it is peaceful and quiet, I figure I had better get some Sleep before the Flock comes home and terrorizes me again...) So until then, BYE! SQUAWWWK!!

~"MacIntosh" ("Mackie").

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Reviewed by Shirley Cheng 8/27/2004
Aww, how cute!!! LOL! I love this. It's so funny! Especially where it says about the r-rated movie...hahaha :) It makes me miss my own parrots. :( We had to give them away. I especially miss my African Gray Parrot!! :( A great write! I'd love to read a story told by an African Gray someday... ;)
Reviewed by Simon Thurlow 2/8/2004
First dogs, now parrots. New horizons are opening up. Delightful story
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner 2/7/2004

LOL--mackie is a pretty boy, yes he is...and so is his Authoress, karen :) (wait a minnit, you can't be a pretty're a girl! LOL you know what i mean LOL)

great story from a bird's point of beak LOL

(((HUGS))) and love, karla. :)
Reviewed by E T Waldron 2/7/2004
Very delightful write from you Mackie. Your ghostwriter Karen did a fine job when she picked you;-)! wonderful to get a birds eye view of things;-) See you next time Mackie, squawk squawk....
Reviewed by Safi 2/7/2004
LOL! karen, you're so naughty LOL!...Great nature write, though!
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 2/7/2004
Hey Mackie I am Tinka's ghost "Weetiewee"..yes I agree humans can be even more messy than Pigs...thats what Tinka use to say too...her cocktails are also very messy she has/sorry had three of them ...poor birdies wonder who is going to look after them now that she is eliminated by Kate the serial killer!!


Love Tinkyghost
Reviewed by Kate Clifford 2/7/2004
Wonderful parrot story :-) Parrots are extremely smart and are well known for even outsmarting their owners. I was in a pet shop when one Macaw flapped its wings. I was quite a distance from it but I could feel the breeze from its actions. Nice, it was a hot day. It has been my pleasure to have many parrots in my lifetime. Now if I was to purchase one, I would only get the handfeed parrots. You know when you get one of these birds it was not captured in the wild. Generally cats are afraid of parrots. Buttons, liked to bite my daughter's cat's tail LOL.

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