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Cynth'ya Lewis cynthyaspeaks@gmail.com

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AARP Ain't Gettin' Mine
By Cynth'ya Lewis cynthyaspeaks@gmail.com
Monday, September 13, 2004

Rated "G" by the Author.

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Considering the sobering mental moments of realizing that I no longer have a reason to be upset at people for calling me "Ma'am" anymore, there are some unspoken advantages to this 50-thing. And it might be kind of interesting. . .

Well, just got officially ushered into the "croak zone" and ain't no turnin' back. LOL. But seriously, croakin' ain't funny unless you're a frog that just missed the fisherman's hook. (Frogs refer to that as "death by shrimping")

Really, long life runs among the sensible in mi familia, and the best part is nobody will ever again question me for saying the words, "honey I'm old enough to be your mother" if they try and ask me out on a date, notwithstanding that Martha Rae scenario. Oh well, I'm still old enough to be friends with their mother and besides, in five more years: 39% OFF DISCOUNTS AT THE GOODWILL ON WEDNESDAYS!

Now to get into training for my impending Senior-dom, I need to lose at least three dress sizes to be able to look better than most women worn out by men, kids, and men who act like kids. More than likely, if I stay on course and just keep away from young people food (you know. . .junk), I just might be able to squeeze into all those classy outfits tossed out of the closet by young divorcees who did too much emotional eating when I was their age. And since they'll probably be working on husband number three and boyfriend number 11, the pickin's will be oh so sweet and sublime.

And, for every reward given, a price has to be paid. . . daily exercise. (Ugggh!)

But lookee here ya'll. I think the reason my relatives look so good for their age is 'cause none of us "kids" in my chronological category ever witnessed any of our older relatives sitting around on their butts complaining about "what is" and "what ain't". Truth be told, what is "is" and what ain't "ain't" and unless you know someone to get you a National Guard deferment, that's just the way life is going to be. . .an "is", or an "ain't"

Fifty is, for me, (and I mean this) more of a point, rather than an age. It's telling me (now this is FIFTY talkin' ya'll)

"Reed, honey you've reached this 'point' to where you've been blessed enough to both SEE history and BE history. How you deal with people who get on your nerves will go one of two ways. . . raise your blood pressure and kill you, or allow you to tell them exactly how you feel, because hey, at 50, you CAN!

So, I thought up a little rhyme, goes a lil' sump'n like this:

I'm nifty 50 now, oh yes I a-ammmm;

God has been good to me, and still I sta-annnd

If I should dis-agree on things with you-ou-ou

You best not hold your breath, or you'll turn blu-ue-ue.

VERSE TWO:

It's my philosophy to be my-se-elf,

I live in my own skin, and no one el-l-lsse,

So if I should get on your last of ner-rves,

Just hit the road and Jack please don't trip on the cur-rvvves.


All in all, if you don't celebrate yourself, don't wait for a party invitation from anybody else to give you permission to toot your own horn.

TOOTY TOOT TOOT ya'll, I'll start writing poetry again by Friday. . . unless I change my mind.

Why, because I'm 50, and I can! And if anybody's got a red hat with a purple feather on it, my head is medium size.

blessin's
cynth'ya

       Web Site: Cynth'ya Lewis Reed at the AuthorsDen

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Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner 10/8/2007
I hope I look as good at 50 as you do. :) Happy belated!

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 9/14/2004
only 50? nawww, don't believe it for one second! y'all look great; hope i look as good as you when i reach fifty (in only five short years; yikes!)! may be 45 now, but feel more like 85! stupid joints...LOL

(((HUGS))) and love, your friend in tx., karen lynn. :D

happy birthday, sweetie; have a blast on your special day! :D
Reviewed by Peter Paton 9/14/2004
Cynth'ya...You wear it well...
God Bless
Peter

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