I was beginning to feel trapped in the hotel room where I had spent most of my time, at least most of the time when I was not at the hospital visiting Corrine. I hated the feeling that being stalked was given me, and wondering why this weirdo had to follow me all the way from Atlanta, and in the process turn my best friends life upside down. I didn’t know this man who was stalking me, yet there he was the shadow in every corner, one that would not let me escape from him.
He was like a shadow, disappearing, following me everywhere, but I never really knew where he had come from. He had me though, had me prisoner, the officers that had to be with me constantly were the ones who made sure that this man could not get to me, but somehow he still haunted me. I knew if he really wanted me he could get to me, cops or no. That scared me though, it was a fear that often kept me awake at night.
What he could do to Corrine worried me more than what he could do to me. He had already paralyzed my best friend.
Fear not for I am with you.
I knew the Lord was right, I knew he was with me, but sometimes the fear over powered me.
Lord forgive me for this fear, but I don’t know how to stop it, help me get over this fear Lord, and send this man away, I do not want him around me, and I don’t want him hurting me, but more than that I am worried for Corrine she has been through so much already and I am worried about Tyler because he’s hurting right along with Corrine. Corrine is strong Lord, and I am thankful for that but I know that even she has her weak moments, times when all she can do is cry. You get her through that Lord and I am thankful.
I spent a lot of time in prayer, especially when I am laying in bed, worrying about Corrine. I feel the Lord’s peace with me though when I am in prayer, and I know the Lord has his protective hand over me, over Corrine and Tyler. Now I am praying that Tyler will heal emotionally, lately he has been turning his emotions inward, and Corrine said that is worrying her, it is worrying me too, truth be told. Bottling up your emotions does no one good, I know that from experience.
During the day I spend hours at the hospital talking with my best friend, watching her slowly learn to do the simple things over again, like brushing her own teeth, or hair, she has limited use of her arms so these tasks can be difficult, but thankfully Corrine is not one to give up, I am praying that she will be granted a miracle, a full recovery, but doctors say that is not likely, she has some serious damage to her spine.
The doctors say she is lucky to be alive, but I know it is more than luck it is much more than luck it’s prayer. We spent hours, days, weeks praying for her. I have not stopped praying for my best friend just as I know she has not stopped praying for me.
“Faith will you stop worrying about me.”
Corrine can tell when I am worried just when she looks at my face, we have known each other so long, we can read each others emotions even when they are hidden.
“That’s easier said than done. I still feel responsible for this.”
“Faith will you get it through your thick head this is not your fault!”
I wished I could, but I could not. I could not stop blaming myself, kept thinking that if I stayed in Atlanta this wouldn’t have happened. Corrine’s life would have never changed and her and Tyler would still get married in September.
Right now I wasn’t so sure a September wedding was going to happen. I didn’t want to say anything though. I kept that worry to myself just as I keep so much to myself.
I write in the pages of my journal hoping for relief, or try to start a new book, the publisher has been on my case for a new book, but lately the words won’t come, and I am left sitting there with blank paper, and vague ideas, but nothing certain.
“Are you working on a new book Faith?” Corrine has been asking me that question a lot lately.
“The words just won’t come Corrine.”
“Give it time, the words will come, you have a gift the Lord wouldn’t want you to waist that gift.”
I was beginning to feel that gift was more a curse, if I had not written those books I would not have a stalker after me, the same stalker that had nearly killed my best friend. The way the drunk driver had killed three of our friends in high school.
I picked up my copy of Midnight Murder, opened to the photo of all five of us in high school, smiling and happy, no idea that our lives were about to be changed forever. A week after the picture was taken Corrine and I had got the call the Kerri, Kevin and Chelsea were killed by a drunk driver. I could never push that memory far though, because it always came back full force. Maybe the Lord wanted me to remember, maybe my remembering was helping others, the way Corrine had said reading Midnight Murder had helped her I would never understood why three good friends were killed, but the Lord was helping me through the grief. At least I was no longer running from the past. I was back home in Spring Valley, maybe I would stay awhile or even sale my home in Atlanta and move back here, if I could ever get this weirdo off my tale. I could write books from anywhere, I didn’t have to be in Atlanta to write.
Maybe I would talk to Corrine about moving back to Spring Valley, I certainly wasn’t leaving anytime soon, not for more than a day, I had to fly back for a day to attend a luncheon with my publisher, but I would just spend a day there, and catch a late flight back to Spring Valley. I didn’t want to spend to much time away from Corrine.
I worried about flying though, it had never really scared me before, but it wasn’t the flying that was scaring me, it was the faceless stalker, who had followed me from Atlanta, what if he followed me back.
Lord keep me safe as I make this trip, help me to get to Atlanta and back safely, without anything happening, and mostly keep Corrine safe.
I still worried about Corrine, I would never stop worrying about my best friend.
“Corrine I have to leave for a luncheon on Monday, but I will be coming right back, I am afraid I have to go though, because the luncheon is with my publisher and he says he has to see me.”
“I understand Faith, you don’t have to explain to me, but please be careful.”
“I think I do have to explain to you, because the last time I left for Atlanta I was gone for ten years, without you knowing where I was or what I was doing, but now I want you to know I have changed I have grown up.”
“Faith I have never held your leaving against you, I understand why you did it. If you need forgiveness I forgave you long ago, but you do not owe you any explanations.”
“Please pray though I am afraid because of the stalker, I am going to need your prayers.”
“You know I will pray, you just be careful.”
“I will be as careful as possible.”
Lord please let me have a safe trip, let me get to and from Atlanta without problems, and watch over those I love in Spring Valley.
I was repeating the same prayer over and over again, but I knew the Lord heard me no matter what, and he knew that I was afraid, I wanted him to ease my fears though, and I kept praying for it, I knew eventually he would, but our time was not always his time, and his answers weren’t always the answers we wanted, but the Lord knew what he was doing, and he knew what was best for us. I could never doubt that, or deny that, no matter how fast I wanted him to answer my prayers or in which way I wanted him to answer my prayers.