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Edward w Saint-Ivan

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Thai Food
By Edward w Saint-Ivan
Saturday, May 28, 2005

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A psychiatrist wants to control dreams and gets nightmares!

Borgan was no average person but he was different to say the least. He was fascinated by sleep. What if someone could go into a dream and never wake up? Better yet Borgan wanted to manipulate dreams.
Borgan finished medical school by the age of 24 from Albany Medical College one of only two six year medical schools in the United States. A six year medical school is shorter then a four one because students start out of high school. A four year medical school means seven or eight years if one calculates pre/med in the equation.
Dr. Timothy Johnson the world’s most skillful medical journalist graduated from Albany Medical College. Albany Medical College is part of Union University and is less well known then SUNY at Albany that also has a college of medicine. Private medical schools are usually less well known then state ones but some of them offer an excellent education.
Borgan interned at Boston City Hospital in the department of emergency medicine. Borgan couldn’t handle the stress associated with emergency medicine.
Borgan’s internship in the emergency room inspired him to pursue a career in sleep medicine. He saw patients who complained about virtual reality in dreams.
He entered a psychiatry residency at McClean Hospital. Even by the standards of a psychiatric hospital, McClean is unusual. McClean is a teaching hospital of Harvard Medical School but is run by the for profit Charter Corporation.
After Borgan graduated from residency, he passed the American Board of Psychiatry.
To further his dream, pardon the pun, he entered a fellowship program in sleep medicine at New York Hospital of Cornell University. Fellowship is an academic term for an advanced sub-specialty residency.
New York Hospital was a snake pit. In 1984, a patient named Libby Zion died under the care of an overworked and inexperienced resident. The Libby Zion case made headlines all over the world. Then on Feb. 22, 1987 Andy Warhol the famous pop artist died there after routine gallbladder surgery.
In 1989, The New York State Legislature passed a law limiting residents on duty hours to eighty hours per week partly as a consequence of Libby Zion’s death.
The fact that New York Hospital is in a huge urban area makes the situation worse. Borgan found hell and it fit his sick mind.
“Borgan what are you doing today?” asked his girlfriend a beautiful Hooters girl.
“I am working on my theory that certain Thai food could cause weird dreams.”
“I want to have sex with beautiful playboy type models in my dreams.”
“You are so weird. I thought doctors want to help people.”
“ F--- that! I want to virtually rape playboy models”
“Isn’t that illegal?”
“No. Virtual reality means its in a dream. Virtual people can’t complain because they don’t exist. I want to manipulate dreams.”
Borgan was deeply disliked on the staff. He finished his fellowship then joined Belleview Hospital. Belleview Hospital is a teaching hospital of New York University.
Belleview Hospital went through some tough times several years before Borgan joined the faculty but he knew about the hospital’s history just like he knew about New York Hospital in advance. A mental patient roaming the halls of Belleview killed a physician. A Chief Administrator resigned after two weeks on the job. Serious sickos seek out troubled employers hoping their problems will go unnoticed.
He taught Clinical Pharmacology and saw some patients but mostly he wanted Thai food.
He wanted to go to sleep. He needed Thai food to do the experiments. He was under pressure big time.
“Borgan I am fed up with you.” Said Dr. Ruthless Chief of Psychiatry.
“What did I do?”
“You don’t have any grant money.”
“So what?”
“Publish or perish!”
“I can’t afford a trip to Thailand.”
“And that has what to do with anything.”
“I want to research if Thai food can be used for virtual reality.”
“I am furious that you don’t do enough research.”
Borgan got desperate. One day he sold his blood and plasma and one of his kidneys. He put together enough money for a trip to Thailand. After a months of research in Thailand he was getting desperate. He was hungry for sex big time.
One day a man approached him in a back ally. He used to be a Pharmacology teacher before getting fired for sexual harassment.
He sold Borgan a black market cook book. Borgan used his last cent to buy ground beef and spices for Thai Beef Curry. It was like a trip. The food was super spicy but delicious.
He never ever ate such hot Thai food.
He fell into virtual reality. He was deep asleep.
“I didn’t do it.”
The Thai pirate beat him some more.
“Confess or walk the plank.”
“I’m from America. I’m visiting Thailand.”
In 1500 very few knew about the new world. They thought Borgan must be high.
“Did you give away our position to the British.”
“What British?”
“The pirates in training say it was you.”
“I don’t know what you are talking about.”
“Make him walk the plank.”
Borgan was never heard from again. The United States Embassy heard about a dead body in a hotel room and some hot Thai food but not much else.
Borgan became one of the undead. He was a ghost looking for vengeance. He blamed that dam Belleview for pushing him into doing such dangerous research. Those greedy administrators who couldn’t wait to get their hands on his grant money; It was all their fault. They had to pay!
Dr. Ruthless Chief of Psychiatry heard a horrible story. A young female nurse was beaten and bled to death on the third floor. Some residents who showed up for morning rounds found the dead body which weirdly enough smelled like Thai food. One nurse thought she saw Dr. Borgan or someone who looked like him.
Dr. Ruthless heard five years ago that Dr. Borgan died in Thailand but thought maybe the scumbag is using the hospital for free bed and board. Dr. Ruthless wanted to the throw the book at him. Borgan needed to die badly, he thought.
As Dr. Ruthless combed dark halls of the hospital late at night where Borgan used to practice, he heard the song “One Night In Bangkok Lights My Heart On Fire And I’m in The Sea.” By Murray Head.
He figured that scumbag must be close by but every time he got closer to the music and insipid smell of Thai food it got further away. Finally, Dr. Ruthless got hungry and tired. He found some very spicy Thai food sitting on a counter undisturbed. He figured the scumbag probably left it behind. Although Ruthless wasn’t in the habit of eating after anyone he couldn’t resist the temptation to try it. Ruthless was never heard from again.
“What are you talking about? I don’t know any British?”
“Confess or walk the plank".

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Reviewed by Sandra Mushi 6/20/2006
Interesting story, Edward.

God bless,


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Edward w Saint-Ivan

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