A Composer's Journal Entry October 6, 2005 by classical pianist and composer Laurie Conrad.
A Composer’s Journal Entry: October 6, 2005
Thursday, October 6
Windgarth 5 p.m.
Still warm today, mid 70's - very windy in the cove. Jim came & mowed the lawns. S. is cooking dinner again tonight. I made some red cabbage to add to the feast. Went to the Amish. Walked to the Point with Tamsyn. As often happens, it was very calm at the Point. The Point & the cove never seem to be calm at the same time; which explains why our tenants capsized at the Point last month. I suppose it depends on whether the wind is coming from the north or from the south. When the wind is coming from the north, our cove is calm & the Point is agitated. T. & I walked down to the water & sat on the Silverstrand’s bench, the hills and water opening up before us. No wind. Sun.
C. arrives tomorrow evening.
Earlier, a discussion by the lake. Stephanie asked why I had not made recordings, as a pianist. I said that I did not want the music, the performance, frozen in that way. Tamsyn: but people should be able to hear it; if I do not record they cannot etc. But for me, the audience is a part of the playing, the music ... In a way I am reading off their hearts, as well as my own, to interpret the music. She said: then record a live performance.
And so others have said. For me to record: Schubert, Chopin, Liszt, Rachmaninov, Scriabin; I know the list. But music is a living, breathing thing. Stephanie finally said: "You are a true artist", in her quiet, gentle way.
I thought back to when I first found the seven foot Steinway piano which is now in my living room in town. It was not long after my accident; my first excursion out; I was still using a cane. I sat down & played some Chopin. When I had finished, the owner of the piano was crying. She said "I want you to have this piano, I want others to hear you play." And she let me have the piano, & waited until I had enough money to pay for it.
Torn. I am torn about recording. Some things cannot be captured in that way. And there have been so many fine pianists and fine recordings. As a composer, perhaps I have more to offer the world. It is very difficult, to do both.
Standing in the wind, the sun reflecting on the water - I see music being written in the waves.