Will Lisa be able to tell her mother that she wants to be agirl? Will her mother accept her as her daughter?
Will Lisa be able to tell her mother that she wants to be a girl? Will her mother accept her as her daughter?
The Day I Went Home - Part 2
By Barbara Lynn Terry © 2005
As the machine whirred and made noises, I saw the professor vanish from sight. My head felt like it was doing a cartwheel, and I was just sitting there watching it. For what seemed like an eternity, my head spun, my tummy felt queasy and I thought I had lost all consciousness. When I finally stopped spinning and my head cleared, I saw the sun beaming through a small colored glass window. 'Where was I,' I thought, as I looked around. I was in what seemed to be a basement, but exactly where I couldn't say. When I had recovered from the effects of the machine, I slowly walked around to get my bearings. I looked out of the window, and could not believe what I saw. The trip had been a success.
Across the street from where I was, was the house that I grew up in. The front porch had my newest creation from school proudly on display; a crystal prism wind chime, that I had made in arts class in school. I was proud of that creation, and as I looked at it now, I was even more proud, cause I was seeing it from a different vantage point in my life. It looked absolutely beautiful. The rainbow colors it made, shone across the front porch, sparkling in the, morning?, sun. I had to look outside, and see where the sun was, so I would be able to tell what time of day it was. After making sure I had the Exchanger with me, I headed out of the empty house I had landed in. As I got to the sidewalk, I noticed that the sun was just past the mid mark, and that maybe it was mid-afternoon. I was not wrong, cause I looked in the corner store window, and the clock said 2:35. I would be getting out of school in about an hour, so I went in the little coffee shop, and ordered a cup of coffee and a small roll. I sat there just dreaming that, if the trip was a success, what were the chances that the exchanger would be a success too. I sat there and when I looked at the clock next, it said 3:40. I looked out of the window and noticed my ten year old self walking toward the house. I got up and paid my bill, and left to meet my destiny.
"Hello young man, I seem to be a little lost. Could you help me find this address here?" I handed him a piece of paper, and tunred on the exchanger. There seemed to be a tearing, and a feeling of emptiness as I left my adult body and melded into the body that I had had, oh so many years ago. I looked around, and saw nothing of any man that was even near me, or anything that resembled the remote control device called the exchanger. I was ten years old again, and this time, I was going to make sure that my secret ten year old birthday wish was at least going to be voiced.
I walked into the house, and saw my mother in the kitchen. "Is that you, David?" She yelled.
"Then get up to that room of yours and straighten it up, I swear pigs live cleaner than that."
"Yes mom," I said as I went to my room. I didn't hang my head this time, like I had done way beack when this first came up. I went into my room, picked up a few toys and put them away, made my bed and went down to the kitchen.
"What?!? Don't tell me that you are done already. That room better be clean mister. I'm not joking."
"Yes mom. Mom, is there something I can help you with?"
"Excuse me? David, are you feeling all right?"
"Yes mom, I feel fine, I do."
"But you never help me with anything. All you do is go play with your friends, and leave me all alone to do the work. Why all of a sudden do you want to start helping now?"
"Mom, I'm am ten years old today. I think it's about time I started helping you with things around the house. I want to know how to cook, I want to know how to the laundry, I want to know how to go shopping for things. How to pick things out. I mean mom, I'm growing up now, and I need to start learning things."
"All right dear. Is your room clean?"
"Okay, tell you what. I'm making spaghetti tonight. You get the spices that I tell you I need, and you watch how I do this."
"Okay mom," I said as she gave me a hug.
The dinner went very good, and I was sitting there taking small bites, and had my legs together under the table. My mother noticed how I was eating. She looked at me like I was a stranger, well, I was to a certain extent. But, I was going to show her, that her little "boy" was actually very nice, very feminine, and wanted to do everything feminine as much as possible.
"David, is there something wrong with your appetite? You're not gulping everything down, like you usually do. Are you sick, sweetie?"
"No mom, I'm fine, really I am. I just figured now that I'm getting older, I need to be more..." I trailed off not wanting to spoil the surprise birthday wish I was going to make when it came time, later on to have the party.
"More what, dear? What are you trying to say?"
"Mom, I have a secret wish that I have been wishing for, for a very long time. I was about to say it, when I thought that maybe I shouldn't."
"Oh, is that all? David, you are my only child, and I love you. You can tell me later on if you wish, and I promise not to prod. Okay?"
"But David, are you sure there isn't something you want to say now, though?"
"Oh okay, you can't blame a mother for trying though," she said as she giggled and gave me a nice hug.
"I know mom, but no matter how much you ask, I'm not telling until all of my friends are here, especially Stevie because it is my secret tenth birthday wish."
"Okay, fair enough, and who is Stevie dear?"
"A friend I met at school. Mom, may I help you with the dishes?"
"The dishes? Oh my, you are sick." We both giggled, and then we washed, dried and put the dishes away.
After dinner we went into the living room to watch television. There wasn't much on, until the movie came on later in the evening, but we watched cartoons. I sat next her, and as we continued to watch, I took my shoes off and swung my legs up on the sofa, and laid my head on her shoulder. She didn't say anything about it, but kinda just brushed my hair out of my eyes. Then the doorbell rang.
Mom went to answer the door, and Stevie, Glenda, Ronnie, Marcie, and Sharon, all came in. One by one they all gave me a hug, including Stevie, and wished me a very happy birthday. My friends knew of my secret wish, but did not know the name I had picked when I was with Stevie in his lab. Today they would know that name.
"David?" My mom had asked. "A hug from a boy? Is there something you want to tell me dear?"
"Yes mom there is, but only after I blow out the candles."
"Okay, I guess I can wait that long. How long have you been thinking about this secret wish, dear?"
"Let me see, mom. Six years mom, since I was four years old."
"Why didn't you say somehing sooner? Honey, whatever your wish is, I love you. I'm sorry for all the yelling I did. So, if you have a secret wish, I will wait til after you blow out the candles."
"Thanks mom, you're the greatest," I said giving her a hug. The girls and Stevie all winked at me, and nodded.
We sat in the living room, while mom went in the kitchen to start getting everything ready for my party. When that was finished, she called for us to come in the kitchen for cake and ice cream, and then we were going to have a few games to play too. We all went and stood aroud the table with a cake that said: "Happy 10th Birthday, David." Everyone sang happy birthday to me, and I blew out the candles. Mom was very anxious though, to hear what my secret birthday wish was.
"Well, come on young lady, let's hear your secret wish."
I heard the young lady part, but it didn't register until I had said what my wish was.
"Mom, I wish that now and forever, I could be a girl. I don't want you to yell at me, but this has been my secret wish for a very long time. And, I just want to be a girl. I have never been a boy, and I don't know what that is anyway. Mom? Please, may I be a girl?" Then it dawned on me what she had said. "Mom, you called me a young lady. Why?"
"Because dear, I have known for a long time that you weren't acting like a boy. I was told that keeping your room messy and other things, was just to get my attention, so I would tell you that girls are cleaner than this, but I used the word pigs instead. I am so sorry for that, sweetie. I really didn't mean to hurt you or anything. What name would you like us to call you then?"
"Mom, I will be right back, and I will show you a present that Marcie and the girls brought for me. You can't peek, it is a secret."
"All right honey, I promise I won't peek."
Marcie and I went in my room and the other girls came too. We told Stevie we would be right out. I closed my bedroom door, and started to undress. I had taken a nice shower before, and I still smelled of lavender. I wonder if mom had noticed? The girls opened one of the presents, which had a complete girl's outfit in it. As they laid out the clothes, I started dressing right away. It didn't take long, and Glenda put a wig on my head, and kept it there with a few bobby pins. When I was finished, I looked in my mirror, and the other girls agreed, I looked just like one of them. I told them that I would be using the name Lisa Anne, from now on. They all screamed a little "I agree" scream, and I opened the door to my bedroom.
"Mom, close your eyes, and we will show you, who I really am."
"All right dear, my eyes are closed." Stevie nodded and we came in the kitchen and I stood in front of my mother.
"Mom, am I pretty, mom?"
When she opened her eyes, she put her hand over her mouth and gasped. "Oh my gosh, honey! You, you are beautiful. Come here daughter of mine." I took two steps, and just kinda fell into her arms, and she gave me the biggest hug I had ever gotten from her, since I was a baby. "What name did you pick for my daughter, honey?"
"Lisa Anne, mom."
"Oh my gosh, a pretty name for a pretty girl. Yes Lisa Anne, you can be the girl you have always wanted to be."
I started crying and my mother just held me there, until I had stopped. She also said that it was all right for girls to cry when they were happy. Then I opened the rest of my presents. Did my mother know this is what I had wanted? Because the first present I opened, was a brand new Barbie doll, and a few changes of doll clothes to go with it. The next present was from Ronnie. It was a pair of girls jeans, that were lavender in color. I gave her a big hug for that. Sharon's present was next. She gave me a thing of curlers in a plastic case that had a snap for keeping it closed. She also gave me a few barrettes, and two cards of bobby pins. Then she gave me one more present. It was a dress, and a skirt set in one package. The dress was ordinary, but had a little print on the upper bodice that looked like little flowers. The skirt set was plain also, but it was still pretty. The skirt was sun yellow, and the blouse was grass green. These two colors go together nicely. Then Stevie gave me his present. I couldn't believe my eyes, when I saw makeup, and a little bottle of perfume. I was in seventh heaven. I gave him a big hug and a little kiss on the cheek. I think he even blushed a little, giggle.
"Lisa Anne Connors, we are going to have so much fun being mother and daughter. Tomorrow, I will take you shopping, and get you some more clothes. You're going to need undergarments too."
"Mom! Not in front of a boy!"
"Oh my gosh, sweetie! I am so sorry. Now I know you are all girl. Okay, we each have a paper saucer, so who wants ice cream with their cake?" We all said I together, and then mom giggled as well as the girls, and Stevie just laughed a little. Stevie winked at me, and I winked back, which my mother saw. I mean she sees everything.
"What was that little wink for, you two? Don't tell me Lisa Anne, that you have a boyfriend already?"
"Uhm, no mom, Stevie and I are just good friends." I winked at mom, and she winked back.
Stevie and I already knew what was going on between us, but to mom and the girls, they thought that it was just a crush. Little did they know. I was now accepted as a girl by my mother, something the girls and Stevie already knew I was. To be accepted by girls, as one of them, is a great feeling inside, but nothing that comes as close as being accepted by your mother.
Chapter IV Shopping
It was time for everyone to go home, we had a very good time. We never got to play the games mom had wanted us to play. But, we still had a good time. I also forgot to mention too, that Glenda had given me a very pretty night gown and robe for my birthday. But, the Barbie doll and the doll clothes made me wonder if mom knew all along, that I wanted to be a girl. Oh well, everything worked out, the way I had wanted it to anyway, and I should have had the courage, all those many years ago to tell her. But I did now, and she has accepted me as her daughter, Lisa Anne. I am a very happy girl now. I took my bath, and put on my nighgown and robe, and then went in the living room to give my mother a hug and a kiss goodnight.
"Thanks honey. That nightgown and robe a very pretty sweetheart. I am making a list of the things we should get you tomorrow. I am going put down three nightgowns, and one more robe for you. That way you don't have to wear the same thing all the time. Also, you will find out, that girls never wear the same outfit two days in a row, especially if it is a dress, or a skirt set. We just consider that a bit tacky. Okay, so I guess the girls already took measurements to see what size you wear. So, let me see the tag on your nightgown and robe. That will tell me your dress size. I will want to see the bouse and skirt too."
"Yes mother, I'll be right down with my skirt and blouse." She didn't need the jeans, because the skirt would tell her what size they were anyway. So I went in my room and got my skirt and blouse, and took them out to my mother.
"Here mother. The skirt is a size eight, and the blouse is a size...mom, all it says here is medium."
"That's okay honey. So let me see now, the dress is a size twelve, but that is because of your shoulders, dear. the skirt, you said, is a size eight, and the blouse is a size medium. Okay, I think we are ready for our shopping trip. OH! Wait a minute, I need your shoes too, or just look at the size inside of the shoe, and tell me what it is."
"Okay mom, I'll be right back." Itook the other things back to my room and looked in my shoes. The size was six, and so I went back to my mother and told her what size the shoes were.
"Okay, we are ready for our shopping trip. So goodnight darling, sweet dreams."
"Goodnight mother, and sweet dreams to you too."
"Yes dear, I certainly will."
I dreamt that night that I was in the store just looking at all the dresses, skirts, blouses, and my mother was just standing there smiling at my awed expression of all of the colors and fabrics. I picked out a nice dress, and I can't tell you the color, because it was a haze in my mind's eye. The dream was getting cloudier, and all of a sudden, it was time to get up. I had slept until ten o'clock, and my mother came in my room, telling me it was time to get up.
"Honey," she said as she stroked my hair gently, waking me up. I looked up at her and smiled. "it's time to get up, sweetie. I have a nice rose scented bubble bath for you today. There is some rose scented lotion I use, in the medicine cabinet, with some nice body powder. The lotion you just wipe, instead of rub, and the powder you just sprinkle on. When you dry off sweetie, wipe with the towel, don't rub with that either."
"Okay mother. I have done this at Marcie's when she let me wear some of her outfits."
"I should have known. Okay go, scoot now and take your bath."
"Yes mother," I said giggling as I went to take my bath.
As I sat in the tub and let the bubbles just make my skin smell of roses, I thought about what it would be like to go shopping as a girl. I had the most happiest daydream, about a boy who was in the store, in another department, that was leaving at the same time we were. He smiled at me, and I smiled back, but all my mother said was, that we needed to get back home. That's when I heard my mother.
"You didn't drown in there, did you?"
"No mother, I was just thinking about our shopping trip, is all."
"You were daydreaming. Was the boy handsome?"
I got out of the tub, and patted down. I took out the lotion, and started to wipe it on my legs first., then all over my body except for my back. "Mom, how can I put the lotion on my back?"
"Is the door unlocked?"
"Yes mother, it is."
"Okay then, I will help you with that."
She came in the bathroom, and opened the towel so my back was completely open to her. She took the lotion and put it in her hands and wiped her two hands together, and started spreading the lotion all over my back. "Now dear, I asked you, was the boy in your daydream, handsome?"
"But how do you know it was a boy?"
"I've been there sweetie. All of us girls go through that. We even dream about cruises with handsome guys, and just parking in a secluded spot and just kissing. We all go through it, dear."
I looked back at her and just smiled. "Yes mother, he was handsome. Very."
She smiled back at me, then patted my behind and told ne it was time to get dressed. So, I went and got out my skirt, blouse, under things, knee high socks and shoes. I got dressed, all the while with my mother watching. She didn't say a word, until I was finished. After I was finished dressing, I took the wig that was given to me by Glenda, and fixed to my head, making sure it was straight. I fixed it to my real hair with a few bobby pins, and then I put it in a pony tail.
"I can see Lisa Anne Connors, that you have been doing this for a long time. Haven't you?" She said looking at me with a smile. I saw her in the mirror, then I piruted around on the chair and looked at her.
"Yes mother, I have. I have so much wanted to be a girl here," I said with a motion from my head to my feet, " like I am in here," I motioned to my heart.
"Honey, I only wish you would have told me sooner. But when you started all of a sudden eating like a bird, and keeping your legs together, and asking me if you could help me. I got the idea. Then when you went out yesterday, earlier, I took your original presents back, and got you the Barbie doll and the doll clothes and other things. You see sweetie, you can't fool your own mother. You were acting more like a girl, than any boy I had ever seen. Also, before we take you to Dr. Sommers, you need to see a psychatrist. This is only to see if you have a mental illness. Now, the psychiatrist will not be totally on your side. You will have to convince him that you are, and always have been, a girl. I'm sure you have enough feminine wiles, to make that happen."
"Oh yes, mother. If he wants to treat me like a boy, then he is in for a big surprise."
"That's my girl," she said giving me a big hug and a kiss on the forehead. "Now, let's go shopping and get you some more clothes."
"Yes mother, I'm ready."
We didn't have a car, so we went out to the bus stop, and waited for the bus that would take us downtown. This bus would take us right to Gimbels, on Plankinton and Wisconsin Avenues. They had a bargain basement there, and that is where my mother bought most of her clothes. We weren't rich, so every penny counted, and they have very good styles in the bargain basement too. A lot of the clothes they sell in the bargain basement, are returns that other people didn't want, so they were practically brand new. The bus came and we got on and sat down. We enjoyed the ride to downtown, cause we talked all the while we were on the bus. When we got to Gimbels, and we entered the store, my mother stopped at the first counter. There were all kinds of perfumes, and if you bought a bottle of perfume, you could get your ears pierced for free. My mother had asked me on the bus, if that is what I wanted, and I had said yes.
The saleslady looked at my mother then at me. She was young, about my mother's age, and had a very pretty smile. Her hair was done in a pony tail also, and then she started to say what all salespeople say when you come up to their counter.
"My I help you, please. Maybe a bottle of perfume for the young lady and free ear piercing?"
"Yes ma'am," my mother said with a smile, looking at me. "We would like a bottle of bubble bath too, with oil, lavender, if you have it."
"Okay and what about the perfume, ma'am?"
"Uhm let me see, surprise me, something not too expensive, but not too cheap either that will go good with the lavender bubble bath."
"Yes ma'am, I have just the thing." She took out a bottle from the case, and sprayed in on my wrist. "How does that smell, young lady?"
"Mmmmmmm I like that. Mother?" I held my wrist up for her.
"Yes sweetie, that is very good."
"We call this one Heavenly Violet."
"All right we'll take that and the bubble bath, and my daughter would like to have her ears pierced too."
"Good. Young lady, what is your name?"
"Lisa Anne, ma'am."
"Well Lisa Anne, just come right around here and sit on the stool. I will show you some ear studs, and they are free of charge too."
I picked out a pair of violet stars, and the lady took what looked like a large stapler, and applied to one ear. I heard a pop, and then she was at the other ear. I heard the pop again, and then she said she was done.
"Now Lisa Anne, you have to leave them in for at least eight weeks, maybe longer. It depends on how well your ears heal."
"All right then, will there be anything else?"
"No thanks, at least not today."
After we left the perfume counter we went to escalators and down into the bargain basement. To my right were baby and very young girl clothes, and to my right were bigger girl and women's clothes. We went over to the bigger girl clothes, and started looking through the skirts and blouses. Then I looked a little further, and I saw the dress I had been dreaming about. I knew that was the dress, cause it seemed to beckon to me. Uhm haven't we all said that our husbands, giggle. Anyway, I walked over to the dress, and my mother was right behind me.
"Oh Mother, isn't this just beautiful?"
"Yes dear, it is. It is very beautiful. Want to try it on?"
"Oh yes, mother, I would just love to."
We went to the dressing room, and I went in and took off my skirt and blouse, and put the dress over my head. I asked my mother to help me zip it up, and we looked in the mirror together. The dress was a nice coral, without any type of print on it, but it looked absolutely beautiful. Mom helped me take off the dress, and I got back into my skirt and blouse, and we went out and put that in the cart, cause we had more shopping to do. We went back out to where the dresses and the skirts and blouse were, and picked out three more skirt set, two more dresses, and four pairs of girls jeans. Then my mother said, we had one more stop to make. We got back to the escalator, and went up to the second floor. There they all the brand new dresses and skirt set plus jeans. We walked over to the girls part, and my mother showed a very beautiful dress.
"This dear, is what we call a party dress. You can wear it to parties, going out to a fancy restaurant, for those special occasions at school, or anything else you can think of that is a very special occasion. Would you like to try this one on, dear?"
"Yes Mother, but I would rather try that one on right there."
"Right where, sweetie?"
I walked over to the most pink top and light rose skirt party dress. "This one mother."
"All right, dear. You can try that one, but do me a favor and try this one on too."
"Okay, mother I will."
"That's my girl." Everytime she said, 'that's my girl', she gave me a hug. She never did that before I came back. But to her, this is who I always was.
I went in the dressing room and tried on the first dress. It fit me like a glove. The second dress did too. I asked mom if I could have them both, and she said yes.
"Honey, you can have anything you want. This is your shopping day."
"Mother, I think I am tired. All of this has made me a little hungry too."
"Okay sweetie. Since we are downtown, where would you like to go for lunch?"
"I would like to go to Woolworth's mom, they have nice salads there."
"Okay dear. But, how do you know about Woolworth's?"
"The girls and I would come downtown, when I was dressed in Marcie's clothes, and we would go to Woolworth's and have a salad."
"I see that you have been my daughter for more than just a day."
"Yes mother, I have."
The Day I Went Home - Part Three - Lisa Anne goes to, see the psychiatrist, school, and a party at Marcie's.