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T J Rintoull

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Member Since: May, 2006

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Being Dead
By T J Rintoull
Friday, June 02, 2006

Rated "PG13" by the Author.

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Recent stories by T J Rintoull
· Bathroom Memorial
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Thoughts of despair turn to something else in the life of a bohemian paraplegic.

Floating. Drifting. No real energy of any kind. I felt so good in those few moments that people in my neck of the woods referred to as life. I was born, I lived, I died. What more is there to tell?


 


Oh, I知 still alive, if you can call it that. There痴 just nothing left anymore. My life as I see it ended with the car accident, when I plunged over the edge of a seaside cliff. Somehow, I managed to survive the fall, and the fact that a piece of metal was wedged between my ears.


 


They called it a miracle. I call it a goddamn curse. I get about these days in a wheelchair, and it really sucks. That痴 not to say I don稚 enjoy my life. I love it. I live in a large house with a bunch of young delinquent bohemians. I知 constantly space out on hard drugs, and I can稚 remember the last time I had so much sex. These kids actually get turned on by the fact that I have no legs, but an invariably useful and well-sized member. At least half of them have told me they love me through their half-drunken haze.


 


However, despite the joys of legless bohemia, I have decided to leave. Today. You see I want something more out of my life. I知 thirty-three, and I致e done a lot of things during that time, but there is so much more to do. Besides, each of these kids mean a lot to me, and their lives are completely meaningless; I want to change that.


 


As long as I知 here, the eldest, validating their dreams and their precocious lifestyles, they will continue to live as they have for many long years. So it痴 time for me to say goodbye. They値l miss me, and I値l miss them, but hey, life goes on.


 


First I値l say goodbye to Miranda; she痴 a beautiful if misguided girl, and I think she genuinely loves me, not like the other deluded children. She値l most likely burst into tears, and kiss me tenderly, covering me in her jet-black curls, her musky fragrance enveloping me completely. I値l miss her the most, that痴 a certainty, but I think she値l be the first to follow me out into the big wide world. Maybe there she値l start using that incredible brain she痴 got and make a life of her own.


 


After I知 done with her, she値l alert the rest, and they値l appear from their sleeping-holes en masse, begging me not to go. They値l clamour for attention, telling me how much they need me, and offer me leaves. Of course I値l get pressured into sharing the leaves with them, after which they値l almost certainly start jumping each other, and one of them will leave the clot of bodies and make love to me; they really are exquisite people. It値l become a light-hearted afternoon of tenderness and I値l start to drift off into the haze, to float on that stream of love. My energy will be rejuvenated, and I値l be content.


 

I won稚 regret anything. Not now that I知 dead anyway


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