Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
It would be nice if we could move forward in our journey without lugging around all the baggage from our past. But sometimes the baggage is attached to the people we love. We handed it to them in a fit of rage. We tied it to their wrists during an alcoholic binge. We slung it upon their backs with mean and nasty words. My son Shaun is carrying some of that baggage. Shaun was a very busy child. He was stubborn and always getting into trouble. He was eventually diagnosed with ADHD but that was before we knew much about it. There was a time in my life when I had trouble saying anything nice. I was filled with self hatred and anger. I woke up each morning in a bad mood. I hated my life and resented Shaun for making my life miserable. I nicknamed him “Little Shit.” And he lived up to his new title. The more I yelled the more defiant Shaun became. So I yelled more. This went on until he was four. By this time he was having problems in preschool, was acting aggressively with other children and was lighting fires in the backyard. My pediatrician recommended a family counselor for Shaun. So I made an appointment and the two of us went. By the grace of God a therapist showed me my part in his unruly behavior and I made changes. I quit calling him names and I stopped yelling at him. Today Shaun is a great kid. He is highly intelligent, even tempered and loves me very much. But I do not pretend that he won’t have a lot of baggage to deal with in his future. I will continue moving forward in my journey doing the best job I can, but I will never forget to be sensitive to the pain I’ve caused.
When we are feeling good about ourselves we tend to say things that make others feel good also. Likewise, when we are troubled and in despair we tend to say things that are ugly and hurtful. The Bible tells us to make sure the words of our mouth are acceptable and pleasing not only to God but to others as well. If good words are hard for you to find make a list of them and practice them often. If in a fit of rage you find it hard to remember the good words on your list turn around and walk away.