Chapter from my autobiography "A Spiritual Warrior's Journey". It deals with a "out-of-body experience"(OBE)
"A Journey Inside a Rainbow"
I am only able to remember the briefest pieces of information from the most enlightening spiritual encounter of my entire lifetime. Significant and life changing would be understatements to what transpired this one night. This was not a dream experience; this was in the true st sense, a spiritual journey of my soul. All my notions about reality and the purpose of life were shattered as I crossed from my physical world into a world of spirit. I have been cosmically altered by this event. There is a part of me that realizes that life really is but a dream.
The evening began normally enough for me. I had a long meditation and was feeling very peaceful and relaxed as I went upstairs to go to bed. I was still feeling rested and rather blissful from my meditation. As I lay there on my bed, I turned my attention to a photograph of my guru smiling at me from my bedside table. I was particularly focused on his eyes as my whole attention seemed to be drawn into the photo.
All of a sudden, I was no longer lying on the bed, but my physical body was. It was as if the real me had been vacuumed right out of my body and my spirit had no weight. I was soaring beyond that material body that was still in bed. I was transported to a place (if that is the right word) where there was no time; music, colors, thoughts, and love all became one.
I am at a loss as to how to even begin to describe this once-in-a-lifetime experience. This was not like my normal out-of-body experience; there was no attached cord or body floating around in some void of space. Words cannot fully capture the feelings or the colors and the sounds, but I will do my best to take you along on this inner journey.
I was being pulled along through what might best be described as space, the universe, but it wasn't like anything I had ever seen in any movie. I was going faster than light, zipping along through a vast heavenly universe of some kind. I was moving (and this is even harder yet to explain) inside of, or more accurately, as a part of a rainbow of colors; a river or stream of light. I could sense that I was a part of this traveling rainbow of souls. Moreover, I was not just one of the souls, I was one with them. I felt there was no separation. We were all one. It was if I was single a cell in some “body of light” with a community of souls all functioning and unified as one stream of consciousness.
I was being told things that I could not remember when I woke up back in my body, but I do remember having been told something about who they were, who I was, and the meaning and purpose of what was happening. All of that information remains locked someplace in my inner self.
I do remember the incredible love I was feeling. I have never felt anything like that again! The whole experience was bathed and enraptured in a deep feeling of love. I felt love in ways that no one in a body ever has. I was love and love was the universe, and everything that surrounded this group of traveling colors was made of and reflected love. There were no boundaries for this love; it was without any borders and was everywhere and within everything.
We kept zipping along as we passed slower moving colors. It was like a scene from a Star Trek movie where they go into warp drive, and all those lights and colors zip past them as they move faster than light. While we were moving beyond warp speeds and moving as fast as "thoughts" (this is the only word that comes to me to compare the speed), we were moving and flowing with the music of the universe.
There was a musical sound that the universe around us was making. It was a part of us just as the love was. It was a sound that moved us along on our journey.
I never felt alone or as an individual; I always felt as one with this group of souls. It was as if I were a part of their family, but again, there wasn't any separation. It wasn't being a part of anything; it was being one with everything, and that was a big difference. I knew that we were all one, and I knew that we also were one with everything we saw and thought about. We felt no separation from anything around us, not with the colors or even the music we heard—it was all just one.
I could understand all of this while experiencing it, even though I cannot fully explain it. I saw and felt things that have no words or ways to convey their meaning back in the material world. I was with this group of "travelers" (the only term that seems to work to describe them) for what seemed to be an ageless amount of time. It felt like forever since time didn't seem to exist in this universe of colors and music.
Even though I am unable to remember everything I was told, it seems I was allowed to remember the journey itself and the love I felt while traveling with "my family" of travelers. I knew at some level that I was always a part of this "family," and that they have always been a part of me. I am not even sure how that would work or what that really might mean, but that was the feeling that I remembered as it was imparted to me.
While traveling in this rainbow I felt none of the restrictions that I have with my body. In fact, I had no body of any kind. I could not see myself, but felt that I was a part of the colors I was with. I also remember being happy beyond what I ever considered happiness to be. It was a blissful happiness that wrapped its presence all around me in a rainbow cocoon of love and joy. Yes, joy may be a better word than happy to convey what I was feeling. I was totally at peace with everything. There were no negative feelings within or around me—no fears, anger, or worry. I also felt a "knowing," a sense that we had some function or purpose for being a group. Whatever that "mission" was, I have little memory of what I was told or what I learned. It seems that my memory of what happened allows me to remember only certain elements of it.
I did not want to return to my flesh and bone body lying on my bed in the material world that I had been allowed to escape from. I felt I was being asked to return to prison. I felt a release of energy and began to slowly slide down until I slipped into my unconscious body.
I opened my eyes and began sobbing. I was overwhelmed with my loss of having to leave and return to the physical me. I also felt very heavy in my body, as I was no longer just a color that was free of all restrictions. Carol rolled over and asked what was wrong with me.
I couldn't begin to tell her all I had experienced, but I tried the best I could. While I was on this journey, it felt like years, decades, perhaps even centuries. When I "woke up" in my body, I felt I had been gone a mere few minutes. The clock, however, showed that it had been over an hour of earth time. Obviously, time was totally meaningless to this situation and experience.
Carol had no way of knowing what I was feeling at all the various levels of my being. I was both joyful and blissful, but a part of me was now lonely for "my family" that I had reunited with and then had to leave. I knew that what I had experienced was real, but why it happened and how it happened I was unable to explain. I did come away with the following impressions and beliefs even though I cannot recall any conversations or communications:
• I was a part of a family of light and of music and sound.
• I have always been a part of this family and always will be.
• I had traveled with this group at the speed of thought.
• I felt as one with this "family," but this family was one with everything including the music and the colors and the light around us.
• Love was everything! There was nothing else in the universe. Light and colors and music were expressions of love.
• I felt no stress, worry, pain, anger or negative feelings while "traveling" in this rainbow of beings.
• I felt that there was some purpose to this "family unit," some mission or something that this group (team, family, community, etc.) had. I felt I was told about it, but I have few clear memories. I have an awareness of this but little more.
• Time was meaningless in the universe that I been in. It seemed like forever; there was neither beginning nor end to it. It just was.
• I was loved beyond any measure of what anyone might imagine. Love was what this whole journey was about. Love traveled with us and was a part of us and surrounded us. Love was everything including the music and the light and the colors. Love was the only thing in the universe. Everything else was just a reflection and a manifestation of that love.
• I came away realizing that we can never be alone. We have a "family" looking after us and helping us to evolve and progress spiritually on our journey.
• I felt that I was given certain information about events and things that when needed, I will remember.
• I know all that happened was not a dream, and that I was never asleep. I was fully conscious at all times. In fact, I was more fully awake and conscious than I have ever been.
I still reflect on this one supernatural voyage as a turning point in my life. I know now that I am never alone and that there are unseen forces and energies that are at work in our lives helping us. I know this happened to me. I have to believe very strongly that this same thing has happened to others as well. I believe that some people have chosen to keep these kinds of experiences to themselves to avoid being judged as strange or insane. Others may have allowed their own minds to convince them that it was all just a dream and not real.
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