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Michelle R Kidwell Power In The Pen

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I am not made of glass even if I am rather fragile right now. I just get in these moods that I wish people wouldn't try so hard to cheer me up. I would rather they just be there and not feel like they have to make everything better.

 


 


 


Dear Rebekah Rachel,

 

I wanted to apoligize for my outburst yesterday. Sometimes I get so tired of people hovering over me. Mom's afraid to leave the hospital, I guess she thinks I might croak while she's gone or something. I wish she would realize I am not made of glass even if I am rather fragile right now. I just get in these moods that I wish people wouldn't try so hard to cheer me up. I would rather they just be there and not feel like they have to make everything better. As you know, things have not been getting any better for me lately, and in so many ways they have been getting worse. I have a little brother that you have gotten to hold more than I have. That really frusterates me. I know he's little right now, but already I feel like I have missed a huge chunk of his life. He's only going to be that little once and before I know it, he'll be walking and talking and who know what else. It also bothers me that I am making Mama miss so much of his life. If it were not for me, she could be home with him now. As it is, she sleeps on that awful hospital sofa every night and spends her every waking hour tending to me, unless she has another appointment she can't get out of. It doesn't help she (all of us really) were hit with the blow of hearing Maria is autistic. Is this ever going to end? We are all still reeling from hearing Daniel has Spina Bifida. I know it's not a death sentence, but it's still hard to accept that news and absorb it. I don't know how much more Mama can take without breaking though. As hard as she tries, she can't be everything to everyone. I wish they would at least let me go home, so Mama could get some real rest. All of this is really starting to wear on her. She tries to hide it, but she can't make the look in her eyes disappear with makeup. Even the best make up could never do that. I know I am a long way from going home though. I was just able to sit all the way up today, which is why I am able to write to you. I can't make this too long though, as I still tire easily. I will try to write again soon though. I hope this clears some things up though, I didn't want to leave things as they were.

 

Susie


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Reviewed by Sandra Mushi 7/23/2006
Such a sad write. I had to come back and read this one as I was wondering what Rebekkah was going on about poor Danny.

I am a strong believer that the Lord never gives us what we can't handle.

God bless, Michelle!

Sandie.

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