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Frances Lynn

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Member Since: Apr, 2006

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   Recent stories by Frances Lynn
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My First Teenage party
By Frances Lynn
Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Rated "G" by the Author.

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My first best friend was a bad influence on me.

I used to have a best friend called Nathalie. She lived next door with her peculiar family Ė her dad was a V.D. specialist and her mum was the biggest snob that ever walked this earth. She was originally a cleaning lady in the hospital that her hubby worked in. Mum told me 'in strictest confidence' she snared her husband by helping him clean his office after working hours.

My friend Nathalie wasnít a snob. She was promiscuous, but I didnít know the meaning of that difficult to pronounce word then. We were the same age but she looked much older than me. She wore French bras that made her bust stick out like a platform, and wore skinny rib polo sweaters all the time so that her bust looked even bigger than it really was. She was very proud of her breasts. 'Boys like big boobs,' she used to swank tactlessly, knowing that I was flat as a collapsed pancake. She used to stick her breasts out whenever she saw a boy she fancied, which was all the time. She was also very sly and secretive, but I didnít know that then, even though my Mum kept warning me.

Mum and Dad allowed me to have a party on my thirteenth birthday, and told me to invite all my friends. I went to an all girls' school, so didnít know any boys except for the sons of my parentsí friends and they didnít count. Mum wanted to know how many friends I was inviting, so that she would know how many people to cook for. I had no idea how many people were going to come, as Nathalie had invited loads of boys she kept meeting in the High Street Ė she didnít even know them, but promised me they were all good looking. I didn't tell Mum that Nathalie had invited a load of strangers, but lied, saying that ten of my best school friends were coming with their older brothers.

Mum had just learned to cook chicken pies Ė not the frozen kind you buy in a supermarket, but yucky French ones she had learned to cook on her fancy Cordon Bleu cooking course, which she went to with Sallyís snobby Mum. Although I kept telling Mum I didnít like French food - I liked baked beans and fish fingers and scrumptious stuff like that, but Mum insisted that my friends would love it. Five chicken pies later, the day of my birthday party arrived. Nathalie was so excited about all the boys she had invited, that she spent hours on the big day, doing a dress rehearsal in front of her bedroom mirror, sticking her breasts out to kingdom come. I was surprised she didn't stick tassels on them and swirl them around like bejeweled girls in the circus do.

Mum and Dad decided to go out to the cinema for the evening, so that they wouldnít embarrass me. At first, it was really nice with all my school friends arriving, but then Ė all these strange boys kept ringing the doorbell. They must have all been about fourteen (most of them were covered in zits) and werenít interested in Mumís chicken pies at all. They were more interested in Nathalie. She was like a vivacious magnet, surrounded by all her new admirers. I didnít mind, because the boys who couldnít get near her, spoke to me out of politeness, I suspect.

Then, some more boys came and more and more boys, until the party was so crowded you couldnít breathe. That's because everyone was smoking cigarettes and stubbing the fag ends out on the furniture. I tried to stop them, but they ignored me. 'You don't have any ashtrays,' they sneered, grinding their smelly butt ends on the floor. That's because my parents stopped smoking after seeing a TV programme, which said that smoking gives you cancer.

Nathalie was in her element playing Postman's Knock, and kissing all the besotted boys. All my school friends were thrilled. They hadnít seen so many boys in their entire lives, ever! But, then the party got out control. Some of the boys helped themselves to a whisky bottle in my parentsí cupboard and glugged away like it was tap water. One girl pretended she was a whale, and gargled the booze into a fountain, then threw up chicken pie all over my parentsí priceless rug they had once brought back from Morocco.

I was so frightened at what my parents would say, that I ran away and hid in Nathalie's garage next door for the rest of the party. When my parents returned home, they were so shocked at seeing their home invaded by spotty drunken strangers of the opposite sex, they called the fire brigade. 'Everybody out!' They screamed. Then, they grounded me for a year, advising me to become a nun, because they would never allow me to speak to a boy ever again.

Everyone said it was the best party of the year, except for Nathalie. She was too busy dating all the boys to even speak to me. Mum was right about her after all. She was sly - a vixen.

Frances Lynn: copyright 2006


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Reviewed by Joyce Bowling 3/3/2007
A wonderful write my friend! Enjoyed this much...love your humor! Great story!
Blessings,
Joyce Bowling
Reviewed by Randall Barfield 2/28/2007
the narrator's an only child or the first child because parents learn quickly not to leave kids partying again without adult supervision! the story proves it--butts, vomit, costly rug, etc. good read/write holds one's interest all through
Reviewed by Regis Auffray 2/28/2007
A delightful story, Frances. Thank you for sharing the humor. Love and peace to you,

Regis
Reviewed by Brett Moore 2/27/2007
Another hilarious story, Frances. The disasters you bestow upon your helpless young narrators are so true to life. It's funny how obnoxious Nathalie appears in the story. "I was surprised she didn't stick tassels on them and swirl them around like bejeweled girls in the circus do." That is so funny, I cried in laughter.

Brett

Brett




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