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Regis Auffray

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   Recent stories by Regis Auffray
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Ness
By Regis Auffray
Monday, May 21, 2007

Rated "G" by the Author.

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Nessie is actually a very nice person.

 


 

 

 


Ness


 


People call me Ness.  Those who think they are my friends call me Nessie.  It’s ironic.  They give me the name of the monster from Loch Ness.  They have no idea how close they are to the monster within me.  It’s not even my first name.


 


I’ve been on the street for quite a few years now.  I have no idea who  my father was and my mother literally threw me out of the house when I was fourteen years of age.  She did it after I completely destroyed one of her boyfriends who thought he would get his way with me.  Something happened within me and I looked right into his eyes and he went crazy.  I’d never seen anyone so afraid.


 


I knew from that moment that I have a gift.  It’s not so bad on the street at all.  With my gift, I can get whatever I want.  I don’t abuse it.  The abusers though, are getting fewer by the day.  I’m pretty and young and they are attracted to me.  I can read through their thoughts.  I wait for just the right moment and look right into their eyes.  That is all.  They become insane and will not abuse anyone any time soon.


 


I am grateful for my gift.  By the way, my first name has always been Dark.


 


 

 

© Copyright 2007 Regis Auffray

 


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Reviewed by Lena Kovadlo 2/12/2013
This is great but I feel like it is unfinished... I feel this is just the opening or the intro to a much larger body of work. And in my opinion it would be fantastic if this did turn into a much larger body of work. I am certainly intrigued to read more after reading this short piece and I will be awaiting for the continuation. Care to continue writing it? I hope you do!!!
Reviewed by J Howard 2/1/2012
How sad she is inside, thinking that terror is a gift, even terrorizing abusers...wonderful character...so not far from some's truth.
Reviewed by Muhammad Al Mahdi 4/29/2011
I am in agreement with those who want to read more. This character sketch would make an excellent subject for a book.
Reviewed by Elizabeth Russo 11/18/2009
Just a peek into 'darkness' ... it seems her gift is only used for good...would like to know more about this enigmatic character,Reg ~ Hugs, Elizabeth
Reviewed by John Coppolella 2/17/2009
An interesting character. I would like to know the details, so please write more!

Rockie
Reviewed by Floss Flamand 1/17/2009
Short and sweet by my way of thinking. I liked it very much.
Reviewed by J'nia Fowler 11/26/2008
Full of heart and sole, truth and mercy. I wonder if I ever met her somewhere. I'm pretty certain You and I have crossed paths as some point given the fact that I lived in the (Wack) for 3 years. Keep writing please. I'm enjoying your work very much.
Regards J'nia
Reviewed by Kathleen McDonald 9/29/2008
"A very good work. Reminds me of some of my clients. The way the girl thinks and what happened to her. "this would indeed make a great story.
hugs
Kathy
Reviewed by Julianza (Julie) Shavin 9/29/2008
I like this story very much, R. It reminds me of a Ray Bradbury short story called "Gotcha!" I am not a science fiction freak, but Bradbury is so original -- often using psychological themes -- and is such the poet -- that I really love his writing. My "bible" of sorts is called "The Collected Short Stories of Ray Bradbury." Check out "Frost and Fire," "The Little Blue Pyramid," and "Tomorrow's Child."
Reviewed by Michelle Mead 9/28/2008
This is a character just waiting to be put into a novel-why aren't you writing for teens?????
Reviewed by 000 000 9/23/2008
I think Dark is a Vampire or I have read to many books of Anne Rices. I loved your writing and I understand your point. CarolHawks
Reviewed by Katie Gabrielle 9/21/2008
wow! this story kind of scared me. well written. I liked the photo of the girl very hauntingly beautiful you can see in her eyes that
she possesses some kind of gift. Kind of sad too that her mom didn't take the time to help her. Maybe the monster in her is the child inside crying in pain for just being understood. Its funny how pain can turn ugly when the heart crosses the line. Great writing!
Reviewed by William Potter 9/11/2008
A wonderful short story! What a powerful character...and that photo...!!

This would make an amazing opening page of a novel. I`m hooked!
Sounds like the readers below agree...more Dark Ness, Please.

take care,

William.

Reviewed by Jill curry 7/8/2008
o hell-you carnt stop there..more..i need to know the ins n outs of this excellent story
Reviewed by alex dihes (алик дайхес) 6/15/2008
this is, finally, a piece wrth to finish. the philisophic idea is poetically attractive. the work lacks motivation, like the referenses to the parents. left unrealized the characters press down the flight of the idea.

persevere. let me know when the piece is done.
Reviewed by Axilea MU 5/25/2008
Interesting, original! It reminds me of when I was younger. ;-)

Axilea
Reviewed by Sandie May Angel-Joyce 3/31/2008
Oh this is a good story! Would love to read more into Ness's live! Thank you for sharing!

Sandie May :o)
Reviewed by Diana Wiles 3/26/2008
Would love to know more..a very intriguing story awaits. The character of Dark has definitely made her presence felt very quickly....Love, Diana.
Reviewed by Jackie (Micke) Jinks 3/13/2008
How'd I miss this?? Almost a Sa'Tara thought. And the ending...POW! Knocked me out...Great write, Reg.

Micke
(who wonders why he's been so "quiet" this past week. Oh where, Oh, where has Reg gone?)
Reviewed by Sheila Roy 11/29/2007
Regis,

You have me intrigued by this character. I feel like I was only allowed a quick taste! I hope to see more about "Dark" - could be a very creative door to open! Enjoyed this peek into Dark(Ness)'s world. -Hugs:) Sheila
Reviewed by Charlie 10/14/2007
Reread David Perry's comment. That's the one to go with. To perfect it? It needs more meat, more character. A simple quick-fix would be to write the way she speaks. People use contractions, so write contractions that she speaks. More in depth fix: Use alliteration and deep vowel tones for a seductive innuendo. Also, for a smoother effect, go ahead, use the run-ons. After all, Death is not blotchy, but suave. I hope this is helpful. I'm with Perry. This is a great intro to a dark novel. --Charlie
Reviewed by Kathryn Carrington 9/25/2007
Hi Regis:

I must tell you that I loved the name of this one!! I couldn't believe how much I wanted it to continue and then there was this sudden end. You really must do more with this piece. I'm hungry for a story. (smile) Very nice. Thanks for sharing.
Reviewed by David Perry 8/31/2007
I read this some time back and really liked it. If I may be so bold, I think this would make a smashing forward to a novel. David P.
Reviewed by Pam Uher 8/29/2007
Wow! very interesting story, I liked it..the voice is very real.

Pam
Reviewed by Sandy Brown 8/29/2007
I liked the concept, Regis. I hate to think about teens having to live on the streets and if only they could have this power in reality.
Reviewed by Jerry Engler 8/24/2007
I found this eerie, jut like the other reviewers here, Reg, but the power pack of it also reminds me of poetry. Thanks, Jerry
Reviewed by Cleve Sylcox 8/21/2007
I wish it were true, that dark-ness stared those abusers in the eye and caused them to never ever abuse again. Unfortunately, the problem grows everyday. Regis, this is an excellent write. It makes one think and ponder. In your prior life were your initials EAP…Edgar Allan Poe?
Reviewed by Mary Fallon Fleming 8/21/2007
Interesting concept. Well-crafted. I wanted to hear more about Ness and her life in the streets.

Mary
Reviewed by d. k 8/11/2007
A most interesting write. How you have captured the reader throughout is truly amazing. Yes, one would think of the Loch Ness, or perhaps a family name given. With what Ness deals with on the streets it shows a side not many of us understand. Very compelling The joining of DARK NESS at the end makes this a piece well understood. Great work!

Smiles,
Dorothy
Reviewed by Barbara Terry 7/20/2007
This a very different offering Reg, but soooo true too. There are many teenagers on the streets, and surviving. But their survival comes at a price tho, and not all are like the Dark in this piece. This is so heartfelt Reg, thank you for sharing.

May the Lord Jesus bless you, and those whom you love, and be with you always, and at your sdie constantly. With much love in my heart, joy to the world, peace on earth, & ((((((((((MANY WONDERFUL SISTERLY HUGGGGSSSS)))))))))), sister Barbie
Reviewed by Poetess of The Soul Sheila G 6/26/2007
I feel a dark mystery brewing and a honest write!
Thank you Sweet Reg, for sharing your heart!
Very different REg, than I usually read from you...
Great help you dispuse! ;)
WArmly, WArrior "Spirit" Lady Sheeeoox
BE SAFE!
BE POsitive!
Reviewed by Mary Coe 6/23/2007
Very original. Excellent write. enjoyed the read.
Reviewed by Helen Downey 6/22/2007
Interesting write Reg. Enjoyed this errie tale!

Helen
Reviewed by Rhonda Galizia 6/18/2007
I said, "TREMBLE JE DES BOIS DE CONSTRUCTION, REGIS!"

Then Jason said, "TOUTES LES MAINS SUR LA PLATE-FORME,GRANMOTHER! DE ÉPUISER ET LAISSENT TOMBER LA CHARGE ! HOMME PAR DESSUS BORD ! :)

He DOES have a good sense of humor, Reg! I laughed till I cried!

We both liked this, but whoa! What an ending! Makes us real glad we all come from Light-NESS!!

Love&Hugs, Rhonda & Jason
Reviewed by m j hollingshead 6/18/2007
enjoyed the read
Reviewed by Sandra Mushi 6/10/2007
This is not like you at all, Reg - and I love it! Short but power punched!

God bless,

Sandie.
Reviewed by Elizabeth Price 5/30/2007
I want more of this story. This just wetted my whistle, hooked me wanting more. But excellent, also. Liz
Reviewed by MaryGrace Patterson 5/28/2007
A deep powerful write Regis. Wow, it offers a lot of stiring implications of life and its turmoils........M
Reviewed by P-M Terry Lamar 5/26/2007
Wow. You know how darkness can scare the wits out of people - this is an excellent new look at that. Well done.
Terry
Reviewed by Morning Star 5/22/2007
Wow really enjoyed this short story
It keep my interest all through the end
A little scary this is my special paragraph
and look right into their eyes. That is all. They become insane
I love it very powerful ending to! but remind me
Not to look at anybody in their eyes.
Love And Peace to you always
Your friend...Morning Star
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 5/22/2007
Very effective offering....I think I know this person....that could be living within myself some days!!

Love TinkaSweets
Reviewed by Joyce Hale 5/22/2007
Very short, succinct, and unfortunately, a darkness that is sometimes necessary to balance out the evil in the world. Good write, Reg.

Peace. Joyce
Reviewed by Joyce Bowling 5/22/2007
An excellent write, an honest write, one that many would relate to. You've penned it well!
Blessings,
Joyce B.
Reviewed by H. Lena Jones 5/22/2007
Huuummm! Dark---insanity....this one left me quite uneasy. I would have preferred Light---love---forgiveness, repentance, perhaps. Did I miss something, Regis?

Lena
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 5/22/2007
Excellent write, Regis, very well done!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :D
Reviewed by Constance Gotsch 5/22/2007
Wow, cool like Brunhilde. she knows
Reviewed by Georg Mateos 5/22/2007
Oh Circe have thou changed thy name? Dark Ness? you can camouflage yourself but your eyes will always betray your stare.
An out of this world short story.
Honest, try to publish it on magazines, it is very very good.
Georg
Reviewed by Ann Marquette 5/21/2007
Well done...although kind of spooky.
ann
Reviewed by Randall Barfield 5/21/2007
Surprise. But keep going. And thanks for sharing.
Reviewed by Susan Sonnen 5/21/2007
I like this, Regis!
Reviewed by Tom Kitt 5/21/2007
Strange story, A commitment to darkness that knows no bounds, and so no fear. Good story Regis. I'd like more on this.
Reviewed by Karen Vanderlaan 5/21/2007
what a great job! I loved this!
Reviewed by J A 5/21/2007
Ahhhhh... you kept
the suspence to the
very las....t.

Got totally invovled,
that when ' got to the
first name "Dark" it
needed a second to sink
in.

Ni...........ce write.

Thanks for the read.
Reviewed by LadyJtalks LadyJzTalkZone 5/21/2007
I don't read dark stories much, I'd leave a little bit out about the gift part to give the readers something to go deeper in search of. Let them want to find out what or how she made her mothers boyfriend stop. Just my first thoughts. It has potential perhaps look forward to see how it works up. Lady J
Reviewed by D Johnson 5/21/2007
Dark and even a bit scary...I love this story,

Thanks,
Dan
Reviewed by Malcolm Watts 5/21/2007
Nice start Regis. This story is only beginning. Malcolm
Reviewed by Stan Grimes 5/21/2007
Reg, that was an excellent story. You drew me in completely and laid that surprise on me. Great job!
Reviewed by * * 5/21/2007
Darkness...

Really love this one Regis!...You came and went in a blinding flash of light or should I say dark?! Beautifully done!
Reviewed by Michelle Mills 5/21/2007
Wow, I didn't see that coming. Great flash fiction...Michelle
Reviewed by Karen Cino 5/21/2007
I love this Reg. It is so different from your usual works. This reminds me of the TV show, Tales of the Darkside. Would be the perfect scene. Always look forward to reading your unusual, yet compelling writes.

~hugs~
Karen
Reviewed by Elizabeth Taylor 5/21/2007
Clever.

Elizabeth
Reviewed by Jessica Lark 5/21/2007
Reg
I really enjoyed this.
The last line is obviously thought provoking in itself, and I love the idea of ultimate retribution.
Another great story:-)
Jessica.
Reviewed by Debby Rosenberg 5/21/2007
wow...this is good
Reviewed by Felix Perry 5/21/2007
VEry exceptional short story REg and love the use of the first and last name, it is perfect ending for this. Well done my friend.

Fee
Reviewed by George Thompson 5/21/2007
What a popping ending to this! I did not know how this would end until I read it all. Goosebumps--in a way.

George


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