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Kitty N Allwood

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The Ruby Pin
By Kitty N Allwood
Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Rated "PG13" by the Author.

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Lana meets an 'angel' at the coffee shop who gives her the tools to find a real love.

Lana finds she can change tomorrow, by taking a chance and making a change from within.

The Ruby Pin

She sat in the café taking in the aroma of the fresh brewed coffee while sipping on her latte in deep thought. Tears cascaded down her cheeks as she sat by the window looking out watching the snow coming down and for a moment smiled, thinking back to a snowball fight she had with Leo and how he rushed to her when the snowball he threw hit her in the face. For a second she giggled to herself, but the pain of that relationship and its end overtook her yet again.

Every so often she’d glance around the coffee shop observing the patrons making sure no one noticed her tears. She took one last look around and then turned her attention back to her coffee container when an older woman suddenly walked up to her and asked, “Dear, are you all right?” An embarrassed Lana looked up as she wiped the last tear quickly. “Oh, yes, I’m fine... Just thinking.” The gray haired woman with piercing green eyes, wearing a raggedy old coat asked if she could join her waiting for Lana’s answer. Lana took a deep breath in and not wanting to be rude to the kindly old woman, reluctantly motioned to her to sit. “My name is Judith. Judith Moore. And you are?” The strange woman asked with a warm friendly smile. “Lana. Lana Savage.” Lana, answered quickly in an uncomfortable tone.

The older woman immediately began to tell Lana about her life and how the man she loved and waited for ended up marrying someone else. “No one could ever fill his shoes in my life. I was so in love with him I couldn’t see another in his place. Now, I’m alone. No husband, no children, no family except two cats, but I do have friends, thankfully.” Lana looked at her sadly, thinking why in the world would this woman tell a stranger her woes as she listened attentively. “Child, you don’t know me, nor I you, but those tears you’re shedding are tears of a love gone bad, despair. I know, I’ve cried those tears 30 years ago and ever since. Please, allow an old woman to give you a piece of advice, that may change your outlook and maybe even your path in life...” She proposed, as Lana nodded.

“You love a man; one man who is breaking your heart. Promises are made, words are said and most of them are empty. At least acknowledge that he’s not the only man on this earth. Yes, you may love him dearly, but what good is loving someone who isn’t returning that love. You can’t fix it, you definitely can’t change him and you can’t allow your youthful years to be wasted. No, no. Don’t turn your back on other men who could give you what you want and desire in life; open yourself up. He is replaceable. Believe me, he is. Don’t allow yourself to get caught up thinking, no one else would do. To do that, would be a life sentence of searching and never finding love. The right man could be any man who is sincere, loving, kind. Don’t shut yourself and your emotions off to a new love. Don’t compare…because when you begin to compare; you’ll lose…because no one will ever measure up to what your belief of him is, and then time…ticks…on…by. You find yourself alone and one day you look in the mirror and you see the reflection of men behind you who have reached out to you and you realize, in that bunch of men, at least 5 were just what you needed…and you let them walk away…or rather, pushed them away because they weren’t what he was for you. Then you find yourself alone, on a park bench or alone at a movie theater and you look around and see couples and it comes to you like a ton of bricks and you realize, you made him what he wasn’t all along. He wasn’t any of those wonderful things you thought, he didn’t posses the qualities you were so in love with, they were never there…you painted him all that he wasn’t…and now, you’re alone. Don’t lose your life, your youth, your promise of happy tomorrows because of one man who’s not worthy of you.” She stood up and handed Lana a small ruby pin with two hearts and conitnued. “He may be worth the tears now, but he’s not worth the sacrifice of children and a man who will give you unconditional love. Take this and remember me, Judith Moore and think about what I just said. Remember, you have many tomorrows coming your way, fill those tomorrows with the life you want and deserve, with a man who is worthy of a gem like you.” She patted her on the back and left. As Lana watched the woman push the glass doors open and walk out of the café she disappear into the thick snow and smiled thinking that maybe she was right as she ran her fingers over the pin. ‘I need to open myself up to new experiences. If Leo can’t make a life with me, how much can I cry and how many more years to do wait and hope for him to make a commitment.’ She admired the pin and began weeping quietly, thinking of how she loved him so much and of all the years of loving him that were now gone, wasted and it didn’t matter to him.

Leo was a man she dated for over 10 years who never found it necessary to commit to her or to give of himself in any way other than sex and ‘fun’ times. His feelings for Lana were what he called, a friend with privileges, but to her he was the man she loved, admired and was devoted to or else she wouldn’t have been intimate with him. Last night was the last straw when she heard his phone messages. Four voicemails from a couple of women confirming dates and one telling him the fantastic time she had, giggle, giggle. Lana ran out when he told her she wanted more than he could give and he liked things the way they were, no strings. She recalled how she cried out to him, “No strings? How do almost 11 years, turn into a no strings relationship? I wouldn’t have been with you if I didn’t love you!” She pushed Leo out of her mind and looked at the pin again and slowly pulled herself together and went home.

She sat on her loveseat listening to her messages, still holding onto the pin. “Lanaaa… it’s me, Sue. Come over Saturday night, Christmas party! Call me and don’t say no.” Then she listened to Leo’s message of why she should reconsider. “How could he ask me to reconsider?” she said thinking to herself that maybe it was indeed time to let him go.

She toyed with the idea of not going to Sue’s party and then asked herself, why not? She knew Leo was going to be busy with his harem; so why shouldn't she go out and have a nice time for herself at her friend’s party.

Saturday night started off sad and teary for Lana as another message from Leo came, telling her to just accept their relationship as is. While she searched for an outfit to wear, she continued to listen to his message. “You know, pretty kitty” his message said, “I can never say goodbye to you—we have a history together kitty cat. You’re my sex kitten and we have lots of fun. You don’t want us to end! Right? Call me…” thoughts of Leo rushed through her mind as she searched for the right outfit to wear to the party, as her thoughts were filled with so much confusion and pain. “Damn it! I should’ve stayed on that stupid diet! If I did, I wouldn’t be alone now! She realized at that moment what she said and turned to see her reflection in the full-length mirror. Oh, what am I saying…it’s not me…it’s him and his unhealthy sex antics. No one woman would ever be enough for him.” She said to herself when she came across a beautiful blue chiffon cocktail dress with the tags still on and remembered she bought the dress for a special dinner date with Leo, which he cancelled at the last minute to be with another woman. She recalled that night when he called to cancel the date, “sorry little meow, something came up, next time. Okay?” and he hung up. She remembered how livid she was and decided to go find him. She drove around that night in anger with a tear stained face that was filled with mascara streaks. She had ideas of where to look and drove by some of his favorite bars when finally, there he was! Sitting by the window with a red head, playing with her hair and kissing her neck. Lana remembered how crushed she was to see it play right in front of her that she didn’t want to leave until she placed a note on his windshield ordering him to never call her again and to enjoy his red headed tramp, because he’ll never touch Lana again. Lana began to put the dress back on the hanger thinking what was the use of going anywhere, her love, her body and soul was used and abused by the one man she loved more than life itself. “What kind of a good time am I going to have when the love of my life only wants me for fun. I have to take a number or…maybe,I’m just not good enough for him. She slowly hung the dress up ditching the idea of going out and suddenly, something snapped inside of her. She felt as if her feelings were automatically switched off. “Am I crazy, to allow someone like that to rule my happiness, my life?” she said out loud grabbing the dress and quickly put it on. She took a long look in the mirror and smiled, “Lana baby, you look great! His loss will be another’s, gain. Yes, someone else will appreciate and love me” she said to herself, liking what she saw as she reached for the double heart ruby pin Judith Moore gave her and pinned it on. “There you go, Ms. Moore…I’m taking my first steps tonight…alone…all—alone.”

Lana was able to hear the Christmas songs being sung by the guests as the door opened and Sue greeted her with a big hug. “Girl! You look beautiful, wow!” Sue said as she showed Lana in and began introducing her to some of the guests. “This is Dante…can you guys take over from here, the doorbell.” Sue said as she rushed to greet more guests leaving Lana and Dante feeling somewhat awkward at first, but Dante began the conversation about the weather as they walked towards the buffet table for some eggnog. “You look lovely,” he said smiling and then pointed at the pin. “That’s a nice.” Lana thanked him and from her nervousness began to divulge the story of how she obtained it.

A little spark came about and the two began to talk more about their personal relationships and how each one felt it was impossible to find the right person now a days. “I want to settle down, but I don’t want to settle. Know what I mean,” he said. Lana agreeing, “You give of yourself, your life, love and you find out, you were part of a harem. I just want one man, to love and devote myself too…you know, build a life together…be a team. But it’s not out there anymore, cause everyone is looking for fun, no commitment.” She said. As the night progressed they found they had the same interests in movies, literature, ideas and they both liked to sleep in on a Sunday at least twice a month.
The Christmas music was put on hold for a while and dance music began playing bringing all the guests to their feet. Dante put his hand out to Lana and asked if she would dance with him, bringing a sexy half smile to her face. As he gently pulled her near to him, Lana took in his masculine scent as she gently placed her head on his shoulder taking in his cologne while he stroked her hair thinking how silky her hair felt. Regardless of the speed of the music, they danced slow and intimate, oblivious to the others in the room as they gazed into each other’s eyes and dance every dance together, closely. As night turned into early morning, Dante escorted Lana home. The light snow coming down, and the Christmas lights along with the scent of a fresh new morning added to the romance they found in each other. When they reached her home, he asked to see her again later that night as he took her hand and kissed it. “I’d love to.” Lana said. “Good, I’ll pick you up at 7.” he said. She slowly walked into her apartment and waited to hear his footsteps leaving and then let out a shout of glee. A rush throughout her veins of a deep excitement overtook her senses as she jumped around the apartment like a schoolgirl who was just asked out to the prom by the most popular guy in school.

While Lana prepared for bed, she remembered Judith Moore’s words ‘Don’t turn your back on other men who can give you what you want and desire in life, open yourself up. He is replaceable.” She tossed and turned throughout the night as those words kept ringing in her ears.

Three months later, Lana and Dante were still dating and their relationship moved quickly to exclusive. In her, he found the warmth, loving and caring qualities he needed and every time Dante would look at Lana, he’d see a mesmerizing glow in her face that projected pure love for him. In Dante, she finally found unconditional love and something she never thought she’d ever find…a man who only wanted her, because no one else would do. As their relationship was getting stronger and they’d share tender moments together, Leo began phoning Lana, asking she meet with him to talk. As she began to walk to the coffee shop to meet with him, she looked in the glass window at her reflection making sure not a hair was out of place and she looked at her double heart ruby pin. “What am I doing? I’ve been loved like never before, I’m a priority to Dante, top priority at that.” She said as she walked in and asked the waitress to give a note to the gentleman who was waiting in the corner booth with his back to them and quickly jotted down, ‘I’m sorry Leo, but I’m very happy with Dante and you can never give me what he has and is. Be happy and please leave me to my happiness. L’ She handed the note to the waitress and thanked her then said, “don’t be surprised if he asks you out. Just be careful if you do, he’s not one to commit to anyone.” And she left.

On her birthday Dante made a decision to take Lana out to a picnic on the beach in the early evening and surprised her with a proposal. Everything Lana desired was coming to her quickly through Dante.
As she walked down the isle six months later to a waiting Dante a familiar face was standing in one of the pews, Leo. As he watched, Lana the bride walked down the isle in a glow of bliss making him realize how much he did love her, but it was too late and he admitted to himself he didn’t deserve her, she was indeed too good for him. Leo watched Lana and Dante recite their vows to one another and found it more and more difficult to witness the obvious love between the two and quickly left.

One Sunday morning while reading the paper, a very pregnant Lana came across the obituary section and saw Judith Moore’s name. Wanting to know if this was the same Judith Moore she quietly went to the services.

As she walked closer to the open casket, she saw the unforgettable features of the strikingly beautiful woman she knew as Judith Moore. It was she! Sadly, gone. Lana walked up to the coffin to say a prayer and quietly told her about how happy she was now married and with a baby on the way and thanked her for her advice and the double heart ruby pin that kept her focused. As she stood up and looked around the room, it was filled with women who all wore a double heart ruby pin. Puzzled, she walked up to a woman sitting towards the door and asked her. “I notice almost everyone has a pin like mine. Why is that?” The woman smiled and patted Lana’s pregnant belly and answered, “You don’t know?” Lana sat next to her, “No, please tell me.”

“After Judith lost her one and only love to another woman, she never found another to take his place, she didn’t even try. She missed out on so much that was important to her, a husband, a family, sharing her life. She in turned vowed on her 60th birthday that if she ever came across a woman in distress with love, she would tell her of her story and give her a pin to signify a new love and to reach out for it. She had these made by her jeweler. Once you have this double heart on, you find yourself wanting another heart for yourself and you actually work towards it. Now it’s our turn to continue the tradition of Judith Moore. Excuse me.” She walked over to the other mourners as Lana sat back taking in what was said.

Lana realized she never would’ve gone to Sue’s Christmas party or be lucky enough to meet Dante that night if it weren’t for Judith’s story and the double heart pin. Now she’s married to Dante, a man who truly loves her in every way possible and is about to have a baby. Everything she hoped she’d find with Leo she found with Dante and wouldn’t have it any other way.

She walked up to Judith’s casket one last time and said, “Everything I have now, my husband, this baby, a beautiful home filled with love is all because of you and your advice. Thank you Judith, I will pass this on.” And she left knowing she was very lucky to have met this great woman.

All Rights Reserved 2007 Copyright Kitty N. Allwood       

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Reviewed by Carey McWhorter 2/10/2009
Inspirational, beautiful. You open a door when some may think there isn't one. Very, very touching. Carey
Reviewed by Janet lahey 1/25/2009
What a beautiful story. PLease write more.
Reviewed by Shakina Williams 5/31/2008
The Ruby Pin! Would like to have met someone like that when I was down and out in love. Very inspirational. I like that about your writing, down to earth and it stays real. You've got a fan in me.
Reviewed by Nancy Spartan 8/14/2007
A very lovely story.
Reviewed by Brooke Murphy 7/25/2007
Love your story. Very inspirational. Just what's needed now a days. Please post more of these stories. I also ordered your book. Can't wait to get my hands on it.
Reviewed by Thorn M 6/29/2007
Enjoyed your story. TM
Reviewed by Sharon Rossi 6/25/2007
YOU GO GIRL! This story line was so beautiful. Please write more!!!
Reviewed by Dante Martino 6/25/2007
Nice story.
Reviewed by sara prentis 6/24/2007
Very inspirational. Would love to read more like this. Please post more.
Reviewed by Candace Ho 6/21/2007
Touching and inspirational story. Very beautifully written.

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