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vickie lynn prendergast

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Member Since: Aug, 2007

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Recent stories by vickie lynn prendergast
· Journey out of depression
· Open letter to my son,Jeffrey
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Dearest Jeffrey
By vickie lynn prendergast
Wednesday, August 15, 2007

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Life

Jeffrey Michael....There is no other love than the love that exists between a mother and child. It's a love that existed before time... it's real love.... unconditional love...(think about this for a second....ever noticed how proud parents go bragging and showing total strangers their childs picture????Well....I have.... and...WAY WAY WAY too many times an it's a good bet for me anymore that..(don't intend to sound mean....or anything but...DAMN....the kid is nothing to look at...I mean the child is straight up ugly....all red,wrinkled,nose all smashed in lookin',etc.... but notice that parent...all kinds of love flowing out to and for that child.... they're just BEAMING with love ... and I dunno, but for me seeing the parent all gushing with the love juice somehow makes it the honest truth when I tell 'em yes,sure is... love is a beautiful thing,and no one will EVER feel as much love for little Susie...or little Ralph as you do right at this moment in time.... and I'm not choking on a pack of lies....love is incredible... I would just sit and stare at you for hours and hours....you and your brothers....all three of you were without a doubt the most gorgeous,perfect,totally awesome little babies in this entire universe....the love I felt for you guys goes beyond words for sure.And you know how I'm a wuss when it comes to pain,and yet with you....we're talkin' major labor pains...starting the day I got to watch Tad kiss Jenny on "All My Children"....my all time favorite soap opera....I was planning on eating my mashed potatoes and salad and drinking my ice cold Pepsi while I just rested and I mean rested my tired ass.....remember...I had a cast on my right leg....from my toes to my thigh....my right leg was toast....and you well Jeff...you weren't born breech as in head first...oh no....you were ASS first THANK YOU...and I promise you when I tell you that Dr. Stern,Levine and Belinski all backed off when they saw me freak out after learning you had to be a c-section....Matthew didn't even go that far !!!! C-section wasn't in my plan.....but being born wasn't thrilling you one little bit,so a long needle in my spine would numb me from the waist down......and into the cold operating room I was headed,.....your fear-stricken father not far behind, he was all kinds of clearing his throat...scratching at his neck and ear area, and although tired..he was certain to get nowhere near close enough for me to let him have it...I wanted to punch the daylights outta him sooooo badly.... I was furious.... and everytime he'd tell me it couldn't hurt as loud as my screaming indicted...or that "okay.... it’ll be better in a minute".... and oh yeah!!!!! "RELAX”!!!!! I didn't like or love anyone or anything right about that time.... but.... even after watching in horror when Doc Stern actually got up on the OR table with me...and then gave me a blow by blow of how he was having to go in and literally pull you out of me...when he was noticably winded from pushing you first.... and you know I was cut in half Jeffrey.... I’m not kidding.... from one side to the other...I was sewn back together.... oh and stapled as well...the silver thick heavy duty staples.....12 on one side and 16 on the other....but you know.... Love saved the day.... As soon as you let out your first very loud and healthy cry..I wanted to see you.... hold you.... and finally someone handed you to me.... and Presto.... I laid eyes on you and my world was lit up.... love sparks flew everywhere.... Now this is the hard part to stomach... I went home a couple days later...you in arms... the gladiolas your dad got for me: +(_and my giant preggy outfit...and my cigs.....yeap...there would be no tylenol....no vicodin..... no percocet.....not even an advil......I was nursing you and that was that..... I had even quit smoking my cigs before I knew you were in the works:)... But I lit one up in the recovery room as I attempted to write out a few birth announcements before my lower body came back to life...True again.... Ask Gammy or your father...I'm not proud of the fact that a very long time ago.....I DO WHAT I WANT was exactly how I lived my life..... And, although you and Matthew did your part very very well in breaking me.... I would have rathered die than admit it... But I admit it now because it's just funny how love makes you do things you didn't even know you wanted or were capable of doing or wanting to do.... so you see, I might have gone off remembering your 9lb.1/2ounce birthday some 25+ years ago, but I'll never forget THE LOVE.... You know how I'm all grouchy when I get woke up???? Well.... didn’t dare show that side of myself to you and Matthew.... nope.... not a chance...I was sweet as Merry Sunshine and genuinely so... Again.... It was the love.... Part 2 to follow before I lose this ...Love,Momma

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