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larry r linville

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That's Not Funny!
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How come the Nation’s first Black and White stand up comedy team (Tim & Tom) couldn’t stay together? Was it educational and cultural differences–or maybe one wa..  
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Phydoux And the Tomato Plants
By larry r linville
Thursday, September 20, 2007

Rated "G" by the Author.

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Phydoux is ready to share his newly acquired taste for tomatoes and he, of course, blames me for his addiction.




Well, it’s all his fault! I didn’t know I liked tomatoes until last summer. He planted half a dozen plants in the back yard last summer. He said it was not a very good year for tomatoes. He didn’t get a lot of good tomatoes and he had several that he just threw down among the plants. Dogs are curious, right? I ate one of them and it was delicious. I acquired the taste.

This year he planted some more tomatoes in the same place. This was a good year for tomatoes. They grew tall and the plants were loaded with tomatoes. Once again I began smelling that wonderful tomato smell. I could hardly wait for them to get ripe. I licked my lips every day.

Day by day I watched him walk into the house with 2 or 3 beautiful red tomatoes. He didn’t get any bad ones to throw on the ground. He never offered me one of the good ones. He confirmed by belief that humans are basically selfish.

There was no fence around the plants. I could walk right through the middle and get a good view of each of those round beauties. It was great just to stand there and inhale the wonderful aroma. About that time that selfish human started watching me closer. When I approached the patch he would yell at me.
I gave him that look which said, “Who, me?”
I stepped closer and he yelled again.
I used the “I don’t understand what you’re saying” look.

He was alert. Why didn’t he go inside the house? I was standing there with the sweet aroma of tomatoes filling my nasal passages. I began to salivate as if that crazy scientist, Pavlov, was ringing a bell. I eased one foot closer.
He shouted, “No!”
I stopped and displayed that innocent look.
This I employed the “my foot slipped, I’m sorry” look.
I pretended to have an itch and started scratching my rear end. He showed no sympathy.

The telephone rang and he went inside the house. Now was my chance. Quickly, I ran into the center between all those beautiful plants. I had to be quick and the only tomato I could find was a green one. It wasn’t as good as the red ones but it was not bad. It was small and it didn’t take me long to devour it. I was licking my lips as he came back outside. I walked very slowly from the tomato patch and went to the other side of the yard and politely relieved myself and came up to the porch. He patted my head and said, “good dog.”

I think it’s going to be a nice summer.


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Reviewed by chris stienstra 9/23/2007
Phydoux has become my hero.....
My very best Larry
Have a great day.
Chris
Reviewed by Walt Hardester 9/21/2007
Good Dog, and a smart one too...funny and clever as always.

Walt
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner 9/20/2007
Please, Larry: more Phydoux! Quickly becoming my favorite pooch. :)

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.
Reviewed by Josephine Linville 9/20/2007
I love it dad. Keep Phydoux writing. I can't stop laughing.
Reviewed by Vivian DeSoto 9/20/2007
Nice! I became the dog... And for all of us who have a doggie family member, we can relate to all of those "looks". I so look foward to these stories! Thanks again!
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 9/20/2007
Cute story, Larry; very well done! I love these doggie tales!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :D

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