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Tottie's Journal (Part The Ninth) Arachniphobics: Warning--Spider Photo!
By Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Rated "PG" by the Author.
Tottie Weatherspoon, our Australian friend, finally has some free time to write in her journal.
Little does she know that she will soon have an unplanned visitor of the eight-legged variety. (Tottie is deathly afraid of spiders.)
Thurs., Oct. 11, 2007, Sydney, Australia (we're a day ahead of ye Yanks)~
Tottie Ruth here. Sorry for not writing, but have been busy with physsie therapy (I swear their main job is to torture me!! Blast!!), going to me doctor, so he can see how I'm doing (how does he think I'm doing?? I have me bad days, and I have me good days!), and still going clubbing with me mates on weekends.
I still have bone-crushing pain in me stump, still can't bring myself to look at it for long. It's ugly, and it only takes me back to the day of the accident; still plagued with nightmares, still can't believe it happened to me the way it did. Mum and Dad, they try to help me through the sadness, but I can't help but feel pity upon meself at times.
I used to be an active sportswoman: now I am stuck. I don't possibly know how I am going to resume running with only one leg; oh, people tell me about this all the time, but to tell ye the truth, I'm right scared to death I'll fall flat on me face! And how do ye suppose I am going to run on a pair of crutches?? I'd only end up trippin' meself, that's what I'd do!
The days here are getting longer; spring has sprung here in Oz; hopefully we won't have a repeat of last year's drought. We are still in a drought situation; we are in desperate need of rain. Oh, we have had some, but it's like the clouds are teasing us; it's very annoying, that. We get our hopes up, we get a few sprinkles, or enough to wet the ground, then *pouf* The rain is gone--until the next time. It's enough to drive me bonkers!!
*Gad, gad, gad!*
If there's one thing I hate, it's spiders! Especially the dreaded Sydney funnel webs; just found one crawlin' on me wall of me kitchen. A big, fat, black one!! I am going to have to call me neighbour Tom to kill it; I won't do it! Knowing me luck, the critter'd bite me, then I'd end up sicker'n a bloody hound, or in hospital, fighting for me very life! Eww, eww, eww! Oh, is that thing nasty: It's big and black, and it's got fangs; looks like an arachnid Dracula!!
Kee-rist, those things give me the woolies! Now I am going to have bloody nightmares for the rest of my days on account of that stupid spider!!
Tom, where ARE you?? I need you, bad!!
I'm movin' to another room; I can't stand the thought of being in the same room with that thing! *gaspgaspgasp* Hang on, hold the bus--
Okay. Am settled in livingroom now; now am out of breath. Ever try to run on crutches or one leg? Not easy to do! At least I am out of the kitchen; but if that spider even thinks of coming in here, I'm going to Alaska, where there ARE no spiders!! *ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew!*
Oh, goodie. Tom is here. The spider-killer is here. Let me let him in; be back in a flash--
Okay. Am back. Now that Operation: Kill-the-Arachnid is in progress, I can concentrate on me writing. I just hope Mr. Spider doesn't get Tom; we'd both be in a pickle! I just hope neighbour Tom don't think I'm daft in me head, but I cannot stand spiders! I loathe, loathe, loathe 'em!!
Oh, goodie. I think he got him. He's coming into the livingroom, and he's--oh, God, he's HOLDIN' that dead thing in a napkin; I can see his legs! Oh, Christ amighty, he'd better not think of coming near me with that thing, or I am going to bean him one on the head with my crutches!! He's grinning like a little nipper! Oh, sheeeeeeeeeeeeeittttt!! He DID! Now I'm on the floor, trying to type on this thing; it's a wonder I didn't break me laptop--or meself! I'm not hurt, just very shaken up. Now he's laughing; wait until I get back up; his ass is grass (and I'm the lawnmower)!!!
Hang on--let me get back up...be back in a few...
I'm back up. I don't know how I did it, but I'm back in me chair. Tom is still smirking, laughing; I can see it in his eyes. He knows I hate arachnids; why does he do this to me?? Every time I see a spider, he comes over and loves to be a tease. Well, he may think it's hilarious, but I don't like it, I dooooooooooon't like it at all; I'm scared of spiders!! Especially funnel-webs! They're the worst; they're poisonous, they are; they are so poisonous, they can make you very sick and possibly end up killing you. Kids and babies or people allergic to bites have been known to die at the hands of Mr. Funnel-Web; they're bad news, they are!!
Now I'm sittin' in me chair, heart pumpin' hard, pulse going something like a million miles a minute, sweatin' like a hog, breathing like a steam engine. Oh, yeah, me SpiderFear is in full swing; can't people even begin to understand how I feel about arachnids?? I am scared of them, no, I'm flat out terrified of them!! I wish they wouldn't make a joke about me SpiderFear; having a fear like this is not funny!!
Even little teeny tiny nipper spiders that are no bigger than a pin head are enough to bring out the baby in me forty-some year-old person! I hate ALL spiders!! ALL of them!! BRRRR!!
I think I'm gonna lie down now; I don't feel that good all of a sudden; workin' me way into a panic attack. Gotta' get me mind together, gotta' get me SpiderFear under control. I am sorry for ramblin' on like this, but this is what it does; it makes me talk/think in disjointed reasoning. I will write in here again when me mind's more sane; right now ye must think I'm insane, past the point of rescue! Take care and pip, pip, cheerio!
Stupid spiders!!! Stupid SpiderFear!!! How I hate it (or them)!!!!
~Love, your (arachniphobic) friend in Aussieland, Tottie Ruth. :(
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|Reviewed by Charlie
|Tottie Ruth is half Ausie-half pirate with her strange accent. I love it.--Charlie|
|Reviewed by Michelle Kidwell Power In The Pen
|LOL Georg's comment has me laughing, not that fear I am not to fond of spiders myself, but Tottie will learn to overcome her fears and she will learn she can live an active life missing a leg, Mimmi did.
|Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner
|LOL @ Georg's review--no, not afraid of kittens, spiders, tarantulas another thing ENTIREly. No comparison.
Poor Tottie. Spiderfraider. Just like me. An excellent write, filled with humor: enjoyed.
And Tom oughta be hung. Or else kicked between the--torturing Tottie like that!
(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.
|Reviewed by Mr. Ed
|I guess I'll never understand arachniphobia - I kind of like the eight leggeds. But my wife absolutely freaks out, too, whenever she sees any spider. Thank God she never goes into our shed out back - lots of big and little eight leggeds out there!|
|Reviewed by Georg Mateos
|Tottie, I had a heavy weight furry one which a named Virginia, (don't ask me way) and hold itself in all the time.
No insects of a stray cat insight and she (I think was a she)loved when bein gentle stroked on its belly.
But she scared the bejesus of visitors!
Nothing to be afraid of, it was like a kitten, you afraid of kittens?
Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado