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Riley :)

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Member Since: Dec, 2006

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   Recent stories by Riley :)
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The Mark Between Dead and Alive...
By Riley :)
Friday, November 09, 2007

Rated "PG" by the Author.

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I wrote this story for a language arts project if you notice (P.1) I hope I got a good grade!!! enjoy :) i got an a haha

Mark Between Dead and Alive P.1 “Broc, I don’t want you to go to college next year! I want you to stay home with me!” I yelled as I felt the tears swell up in my eyes. The thought of losing my brother for four years tore me to pieces. Ever since I was born, my brother and I had been so close. We would always have races together. I am an athletic girl but my long legs could never beat my brother’s long legs. Broc’s body strength amazed me. His muscles seemed to pile up on one on top of another. My body is strong for my age but my slender figure could not compare to him. I loved my brother more than anything and he knew that. “Carnell, its fine. I will come home whenever I can, I promise.” My brother said flipping his medium-length brown hair out of his face shooting me a promising look. I threw my head against the car seat and sat quietly as my brother drove smoothly across the glossy streets of California. “When are we going to be home?” I groaned. I twisted my brown and yellow highlighted hair impatiently. “About 30-40 minutes from the baseball stadium. Would you like to take a short cut?” He suggested thoughtfully. “Why not?” I repliedI felt my strong body toss and lose control as my brother sharply turned the corner. As we entered the cold, black, alleyway, I began to quiver with terror. Something was not right; something bad was bound to happen. “B R-o--c? Wh-wh-e-re are w-we?” I wondered horrified. Brocl did not answer; he just squeezed my hand tightly turning my knuckles white. As we continued to drive through the alleyway, I saw an abandoned house, a paper flying around, a finger on the ground, and also fog protected the area. We continued to drive. “Broc, maybe we s-h-o-old g-oo ba-.” A voice interrupted my words. “Go-o bb-ack no-not s-afe. D-on’-t g-o.” A voice warned. I was shaking furiously now. Light flashed across the sky and then it was black… pure black. I woke up and looked around at my surroundings. I saw Broc, unconscious on the hospital bed. “Is he okay?” “We will take him off life support in 15 minutes.” “The car explosion burnt his body but...” The doctors’ voices echoed in my head. I could not stand this. My brother could not be gone. I got up out of the hospital bed and ran into the waiting room. I needed time to think without all the tubes hooked into me to keep me hydrated. I got comfortable on the couches in the waiting room and laid my head down to think. I thought of how the car exploded. I thought of the flash of light, and so many pieces going into flames? Who found us? Broc, oh no Broc .I could not picture my life without my brother. My mind continued to race. I could not leave my brother in his time of need, not now. He would be there for me and I was going to be there for him. I ran back to the hospital room to say goodbye to my brother and found nothing. Not even a doctor in the room. The bed had been perfectly made. I began to run out of the doors to go ask the front desk if my brother had changed rooms. I walked up to the desk and found a lady who seemed tired and annoyed.“Hi. Is my brother here? His name is Broc Clark.”“Oh yes, I do remember him. His mother left a few minutes ago.” She replied.“Thanks!” I said as I busted out of the hospital doors. My house was only 2 blocks away from the hospital. I began running as fast as my weak legs could carry me. I couldn’t think of anything else but my brother. Thoughts of my brother began to flow through my head again. I opened my house door. I had arrived. I was home at last. I came running in yelling BROC. My mother scolded me for leaving the hospital room, but I did not listen. I didn’t really care about anything but Broc right now. “Okay mom. Is Broc still….alive?” I asked hesitantly.My brother slipped out from behind my mother. I hugged him with all my might. “But... The doctors said they were taking you off life support!” I yelled.“They were taking me off it because I was fine. They thought I was going to die but I ended up being okay.”“I am glad you are. I just am so happy I can’t even explain. But, I think we should call the police to tell them what happened.” My brother agreed and I ran to the phone. I dialed as fast as I could and waited for the phone to ring.“Hello?”“N-o-t S-af-e. Don-t go.” The same voice warned.I threw the phone down on the couch and made an earsplitting scream.I knew this was not the end, only the beginning.    

 


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Reviewed by Julia Rose 1/24/2008
Riley: What a great story.... I found myself wanting more. You've got the writing-bug girl and I am so proud of you.... A dancer, singer and now a writer..... You've got it all! Maybe we should write a story together sometime. Love you lots, your godmother, Julia Rose
Reviewed by Regis Auffray 11/10/2007
A chilling start, Riley. It makes the reader wonder what will come next. Thanks for sharing. Love and best wishes,

Regis




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