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Keshia Kola

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The Shesaurus: America's First Women's Dictionary-Thesaurus      Download this Full Story
By Keshia Kola
Friday, November 16, 2007

Rated "R" by the Author.

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The Shesaurus is America's first women's dictionary-thesaurus that dares to go where no other reference book have gone before. It is the ultimate study guide that focuses on society's characterzation of women from the 19th century Victorian to the today's Hip Hop Vixen.

The Shesaurus is a compilation of every idiom society has caste on women over the years. Women are under constant scrutiny and inspection, it seems the more power we gain the more labels we have attached to our name. This book goes beyond Hesiod's Catalogue of Women; it is a journey through history's influence on the female community.

As a writer, I've always wanted a resource guide that provides options for even the most unflattering synonyms not found in your typical dictionary or thesaurus. I hope you find The Shesaurus fun, resourceful and educational. I learned a great deal while researching these terms. Many of the terms can also apply to men but that will be for the follow up book entitled,The Hesaurus.

Sample Entries include:


Agony Aunt British
She's a female who provides answers to reader's letters in a publication's QA column.See: Sob Sister.

Alice Blue Gown
She's one of the girls in blue. She's a police officer.
See: Mama Bear, Barbie Billy Club, Jane Wayne, Goldie Locks, Copess, Judy Scuffer or Dickless Tracy.

All American Girl
She's a tough cookie who knows what she wants out of life. She dreams big, walks tall, falls hard, but keeps going through it all. She's an all American girl surviving in heartless world.

All Tits and Teeth Derog.
She's a female who uses her physical charm beauty to make money.
See: Vamp or Poison Ivy.

Alpha Girl
She's the ringleader or the Queen Bee of a clique. She's manipulative and bossy. It's her way or hell to pay! Rachel McAdams portrayed this dominating ruler in the hip flick, Mean Girls.

Amy John Derog.
Nickname for a butch-like, mannish lesbian.See: Bulldagger, Butch, Diesel Dyke, Collar & Tie, Bumper, Lady Dudes or Studfish.

Andro Dyke (Androgynous Dyke)
1970's term for a lesbian who's somewhere between butch and femme or mannish and feminine.
See: Chapstick Lesbian, PC Dyke or Flannel-shirt Dyke.

Ann & Mia Derog.
Nickname for a young lady suffering from Anorexia or Bulimia.

Annie No Rattle Irish
She's one who pipes up at the end of the conversation. She's very quiet and shy.See: Bird Mouth, Milk Toast, Mute or Namby Pamby.

Anti-Bride
Coined by author, Carolyn Gerin. She's the not-so-traditional bride. She will never gush at bridal magazines nor will she be on the front line to catch the bouquet at a wedding ceremony.
See: Runaway Bride.

Arch-dell
She's the female accomplice of a criminal gang leader. She's the Bonnie to his Clyde.
See: Doxy, Gunmoll, Gangsta Boo, Todder or Ride or Die Chick (Bitch).

Around the Way Girl Hip Hop
She's the coolest female on the block. Everyone wants to hang out with her or date her. "I need an around the way girl, she's the one for me..." – LL Cool J/ Around the Way Girl.
See: The Girl Next Door.

Article of Virtue
She's an article of virginity. She's never had sexual relations.
See: Cherry, Damsel, Maiden, Vestal or Greenhorn.

Astor's Pet Horse Derog.
She's an overly-dressed woman with layers and layers of make-up and fakeness. She's an over-dramatized, ghetto fabulous diva.
See: Chavette, Ghetto Fabulous, Bartholomew's Doll, Christmas Tree, Hot Mess, Sharon & Tracy or Mutton Dressed as a Lamb.

Babbling Cunt Derog.
She's a talkative, name-dropping, rumor starting, mouth-all-mighty. This girl is the gardener for the grapevine.
See: Chatty Patty, Mouth-All-Mighty, Clashbag, Gabby, Magpie, Yenta or Windbag.

Backlight Barbie Derog.
Under a disco ball she appears to be a sexy star shining bright, but under a sober lamp she's a hideous sight.
See: Butterface, Double Bagger, Eye Patch Candy, Mona, Airedale or a Bag of Smacked Twats.

Backstreet Wife Derog.
She's the mistress of a cheating or unsatisfied husband.
See: Spare Rib, Shack Job, Courtesan, The Other Woman, Concubine or Best Girl.

Balabusta/ Balehbusteh Yiddish
She's an efficient housewife, the Martha Stewart or Cadillac of housewives.
See: June Cleaver, Goodwife, Apron, Suzie Homemaker or Stepford Wife.

Ball Buster/Wrecker
She's a woman who will challenge any man's masculinity. Her strong mind can turn the toughest dude into a babbling sissy.
See: Ass Breaker, Cruella, Backbiter, Dragon Lady, Hellcat or Mad Woman.

Barbie Billyclub Derog.
She's a female police officer.See: Alice Blue Gown, Mama Bear, Dickless Tracy, Goldie Locks, Lady Bear or Barbie Billyclub.

Barrack Hack Derog.
She's woman who regularly attends military balls in search of man. 2.) She's a prostitute.
See: Camp Follower.

Circassian Beauty
Legend has it in the late 1860’s, they were the “purest” stock of beautiful Caucasian women. They were in high demand and purchased for the pleasure of a Turkish or Russian Sultans. Known for their “moss hair” they were exhibited in circus sideshows and dime museums.

Classy Chassy (Chassis)
She's a woman with an attractive figure or bodacious body.
See: Brick House, Dime Piece, Perfect 10, Stallion, Bombshell, Battleship, Bonzarina or Hottie.

Clean-up Woman
Coined by 70’s sensation, Betty Wright. She’s the woman who gets all the lovin’ left behind from an Ex. She will wipe his blues away and clean sweep him off his feet. She’ll take him in when you’ve dumped him out on the streets.

Comfortable Impudence
She's a mistress who's eager to take the place of the old Ball and Chain.
See: Spare Rib, Shack Job, Hogan’s Goat, Kept Woman or Concubine.

Consulate Mother Whore
Term coined by the movie: The Best Man. She is what every man wishes for, a
woman who has great business sense, a nurturing provider and a freak in the bed.

Corazón Espinado Spanish
She's a heartless woman who will take your mind, body and soul only to leave you with sorrowful pain. She appears to be a flower, but every rose has it's thorns. Term coined by Santana.

Covent Garden Abbess
She’s a female pimp or procuress. Covent Garden is the hooker hotspot in London.
See: Pimptress, Madam, Abedesa or Bawd.

Daughters of Bilitis (D.O.B.)
This is a lesbian rights organization formed in 1955 as a social alternative to lesbian bars. "Bilitis" is based off a fictional lesbian character in Pierre Louys' 1894 The Songs of Bilitis.

Deuce Derog. Hip Hop
She’s an ugly woman unable to tip the beauty scale. She only ranks 2 out of a possible 10.
See: Biffer, Mona, Frowsy, Frump, Roach or Ogress.

Dickless Tracy
She's a female police officer.
See: Alice Blue Gown, Mama Bear, Goldie Locks or Lady Bear.

Digital Woman
She’s connected to high-speed modems and laptops. She refuses to settle for a 9 to 5. She runs her own business achieving financial freedom and independence.

Doily Dyke
She's a lipstick femme lesbian who is attracted to other feminine lesbians.

Dolly Dagger
Coined by the wicked legendary musician, Jimi Hendrix. She’s a bloodthirsty woman after your mind, body and soul. Her loving is so strong…“Her tongue can scratch the soul out of the devil’s wife.” Jimi Hendrix/First Rays of the New
Rising Sun.
See: Corazon Espinado, Easy Lover or Heartbreaker.

Dutch Breezer Girl
She’s prep girl who lives in the valley. Her conversations consist of “Like” or “Oh my Gosh,” and she ends every sentence like it’s a question? With an upward inflection? At the
end of every sentence?
See: Valley Girl or Mall Flower.

Dykon
She's a lesbian icon like KD Lang, Melissa Ethridge or Ellen Degeneres.

Earthy-crunch Dyke
She’s flaky, veggie-eating lesbian who prefers bean sprouts over a fat juicy burger. She worships all that is in tune with Mother Nature.

Enthusiastic Amateur Derog.
She's a young inexperienced prostitute or promiscuous girl.
See: Prostitot, Fast Ass, Round Heel, Town Pump, Jump Off, Tramp, Cheap Trick or Charity Girl.

Everything Butt Girl Derog.
Coined by Emmy Award series, Sex and the City. She’s a girl willing to do everything but have relations. She will blow, suck, grind and bite, but her loving she will save for another night.

Executrix
She's named in a descendant’s will to carry out the provisions of said will.

Eye Patch Candy Derog.
She’s a not so attractive or ugly female. She’s so ugly, she climbed the ugly latter and didn’t miss a step.
See: Bag, Biffer, Beastie, Double Bagger or Troll.

F.B.I.A
She's the Freakiest Bitch in America. Term coined by comedienne, Mo'Nique.

Fag Hag
She's a mature woman who carries her male gay friends as a clutch to conceal their true identity.
See: Beard or Fruit Fly.

Fashion Roadkill
She's a model who falls on the runway during a fashion show. Coined by Sex and the City.

Fat Slags Derog. British
They are sexy, promiscuous, full-figured woman who lives to eat, drink, fuck and be happy! Coined from the self-titled British comic book, Viz.
See: FAT, Chank, Buffarilla, BBW or Bit of Crumb.

Fatal Attraction
She’s a crazy woman desperately clinging on to an emotional love affair. She’s dangerous, manipulative and psychotic. Glen Close portrayed this madwoman in the Oscar nominated film.
See: Bunny Boiler, Stage 5 Clinger or Psycho Hose Beast.

Fellatrix
She's a female who loves giving head.
See: Barbecue, Bobber, Hose Beast, Superhead or Cum Junkie.

Femme Fatale
She’s an irresistibly attractive villainous woman, who leads men into danger and disaster. Rebecca Romain-Stamos portrayed this spicy character in the film: Femme Fatale. French for “deadly woman.”
See: BBD or Jade.

Flapper Derog.
She's a "new breed" of woman in the roaring 20's who rocked short sleek hair, smoked from long cigarette holders and epitomized the spirit of a wild rebel! She danced in Jazz clubs and reveled in painting the town red! She was known as a risk taker, the complete opposite of the "Gibson girl."

Flat Buns Hip Hop
She's a woman with a bony ass as flat as a pancake. She's a member of the itty bitty booty committee. "Stand sideways, girl, you disappear. Flat buns, I like flat buns." - Flat Buns/ Carl's Jr. Commercial.
See: Noassatall.

Floradora Girls
They are a group of popular, sexy risqué dancers from the 1900 London Operetta. They performed on Broadway in musicals as showgirls. Greatly admired by men who would wait backstage with marriage proposals!

Forbidden Fruit
She’s an underage girl or young lady.
See: Jail Bait, San Quentin Quail, Spring Chicken, Gosling, Young Tender, Bubble Gummer, Poppet, Lass or Biddy.

Fuckenstein
She’s the lucky building tenant who gets all the late night booty calls. No one can keep up or control fuckenstein! She’s gotta have it! Coined by Sex and the City.
See: Sack Chaser, Ms. Dial-a-Dick, Sex Shooter, Darling Nikki, Hammer, Sex Fiend, Nympho, FBIA, Man Eater or Vamp.

G.R.I.T.S.
She's a Girl Raised In The South.
See: Southern Belle.

Gamine
She's a neglected girl left to run about the streets.
2.) She’s a mischievous girl equipped with street knowledge as a way of survival. She comes from the school of hard knocks.

Gangsta Boo Hip Hop
She only dates thugs or tru soldiers. She’s your right hand woman, the one who will always put it down for you and have your back. Don’t test this boo’s gangsta or she’ll cut you!
See: Gunmoll, Ride or Die Bitch.

Ghetto Fabulous Hip Hop
She's a woman who lives or was born in the ghetto, but acts and dresses like she's from Hollywood or Beverly Hills. 2.) She's a woman who loves to dress in designer clothing from head to toe.

Gold Digger Hip Hop
This female will only date men with money, power and respect. You must be bling-blinging before she will look your way.
See: Mickey T, Gimme Girl, Shine-eyed Girl, Hi Maintenance, Paper Chaser, Material Girl, Bopper or Cambridge Fortune.

Goldie Cocks
She's been charmed by a bevy of penises. Some too big, too small, too wide and too long. She's looking for one that's just right! Coined by Emmy Award winning series, Sex and the City.

Gold-star Lesbian
She’s a proud lesbian who has not had sex or will ever have sex with a man or bisexual. She receives a gold star for her self-righteous faithfulness.

Grade Digger
She's will only talk to you to cheat on a test, or get you to do her homework.

Granola Dyke
She’s the new age lesbian who refuses to eat un-earthly meats. She prefers tofu over mooshu and Birkenstocks over Reebox.
See: Earthy-crunch Dyke.






    

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