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Michelle R Kidwell Power In The Pen

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Whispered in the Wind Chapters Seven, Eight and Nine
By Michelle R Kidwell Power In The Pen
Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Rated "G" by the Author.

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“I guess we do, but your death is coming to early.”

“None of us can say exactly our time, we don’t know, only the good Lord above does.”

 


 


 


Chapter Seven:


Lorraiana’s eighteenth birthday was fast approaching, but we still worried whether or not she would make it to see her eightenth birthday, she was feeling worse and even though she rarely mentioned it, she did not have to, it was obvious that her pain levels were highter, that this disease was taking its toll on her. We would have had to been blind not to see the pain in her eyes. She was in a great deal of pain, and it hurt us to see the pain in her eyes, to see it etched on her face.


Lord I am so worried about my sister, worried about what’s happening to her, it hurts me to see my sister hurting so badly. I love you Lord, and I sing your praises, but I still worry about my sister, I still question why she has to suffer like this, it doesn’t seem fair to me.


“I wish this wasn’t happening to you.” I told Lorraina, as she lay in bed Mom and Dad had made sure she was comfortable even bringing a T.V and a laptop Dad had brought into the room we now shared. I spent a lot of time in the room myself now, knowing that to much moving around caused my sister a great deal of pain.


“I know you would take this away from me if you could Misty, but you can’t. It’s not in your power. But you are doing everything you can and I appreciate that.”


“I know you do.” I told my sister. She always made sure to thank me to tell me how much she loved me and appreciated me, and I loved her for that. I loved her for many things we were sisters. We were more than sisters though, we were born sisters, but we had choosen to be friends.


“I am grateful for what you have done for me, I appreciate that.”


“I know you do, and I am glad for you.”


“I am glad for you too Misty.”


“I love you.”


“I love you too.”


Lord my sister is tiring out just from a short conversation. I appreciate what you have done, but please let me get through this. I love you Lord but I still wonder what to do, how to get through this, and why this is even happening. I don’t understand how someone so good could have to go through so much bad stuff in her life.


“I wish things were different.” I told my sister.


“I know you do, but they are what they are, and I can not change them, neither can you, all we can do is pray our way through.”


“Sometimes I feel as if my prayers are falling on deaf ears.” I reluctantly admitted to Lorraina.


“We may feel that way from time to time, but that is never the case.”


Lorrainna was once again giving me the encouragement, giving me something I should be giving her. She was the one suffering, and here I was letting her words comfort me, shouldn’t it be the other way around,? I was once again allowing myself to be and to feel selfish, because it was my sister doing the comforting, when she should be the one being comforted. The disease was eating at her, not at me, and no matter how many times I wished I could take my sisters place, go through the pain for her I knew that could never happen.


Chapter Seven:


Lorraiana’s eighteenth birthday was fast approaching, but we still worried whether or not she would make it to see her eightenth birthday, she was feeling worse and even though she rarely mentioned it, she did not have to, it was obvious that her pain levels were highter, that this disease was taking its toll on her. We would have had to been blind not to see the pain in her eyes. She was in a great deal of pain, and it hurt us to see the pain in her eyes, to see it etched on her face.


Lord I am so worried about my sister, worried about what’s happening to her, it hurts me to see my sister hurting so badly. I love you Lord, and I sing your praises, but I still worry about my sister, I still question why she has to suffer like this, it doesn’t seem fair to me.


“I wish this wasn’t happening to you.” I told Lorraina, as she lay in bed Mom and Dad had made sure she was comfortable even bringing a T.V and a laptop Dad had brought into the room we now shared. I spent a lot of time in the room myself now, knowing that to much moving around caused my sister a great deal of pain.


“I know you would take this away from me if you could Misty, but you can’t. It’s not in your power. But you are doing everything you can and I appreciate that.”


“I know you do.” I told my sister. She always made sure to thank me to tell me how much she loved me and appreciated me, and I loved her for that. I loved her for many things we were sisters. We were more than sisters though, we were born sisters, but we had choosen to be friends.


“I am grateful for what you have done for me, I appreciate that.”


“I know you do, and I am glad for you.”


“I am glad for you too Misty.”


“I love you.”


“I love you too.”


Lord my sister is tiring out just from a short conversation. I appreciate what you have done, but please let me get through this. I love you Lord but I still wonder what to do, how to get through this, and why this is even happening. I don’t understand how someone so good could have to go through so much bad stuff in her life.


“I wish things were different.” I told my sister.


“I know you do, but they are what they are, and I can not change them, neither can you, all we can do is pray our way through.”


“Sometimes I feel as if my prayers are falling on deaf ears.” I reluctantly admitted to Lorraina.


“We may feel that way from time to time, but that is never the case.”


Lorrainna was once again giving me the encouragement, giving me something I should be giving her. She was the one suffering, and here I was letting her words comfort me, shouldn’t it be the other way around,? I was once again allowing myself to be and to feel selfish, because it was my sister doing the comforting, when she should be the one being comforted. The disease was eating at her, not at me, and no matter how many times I wished I could take my sisters place, go through the pain for her I knew that could never happen.


“I know, but sometimes I still feel as if I should be doing more, like prayer is not enough.”


“Misty it has to be enough, because right now it is all we have.”


I knew Lorraina spoke the truth , prayer was all we had at the moment, and prayer was going to have to see us through this. My sister was dying and the doctors couldn’t understand why, they could see the physical symptoms, but they did not see the underlying cause of them, and it made it harder for us because we wanted answers. We needed answers, it was our only hope.


“I know that, but I still ask myself why this is happening to you everyday, why you have to suffer like this.”


“Misty I know you do, I often question myself, but all our questions is not going to change the fact that I am dying, I know that now, I just don’t know when. I guess in a sense we all die a little more everyday.”


“I guess we do, but your death is coming to early.”


“None of us can say exactly our time, we don’t know, only the good Lord above does.”


“I know, but I wish in the meantime you did not have to suffer so much.”


“I wish that too, but if I do I am not going to remain angry at the Lord because of it.”


“I am trying not to.”


“I know you are, but you are carrying the angrer I can see it in you.”


“Am I that obvious?”I asked.


“Not to everyone, but to me, I can read you well.” Lorraina said.


“I know, and I am trying to get over the anger, but it does hurt me to see you suffering, and it makes me angry.”


“I know, but if you have to be angry, don’t direct your anger towards the Lord, do something productive with it, write about it, try and get your emotions out that way, but this is not the Lord’s fault.”


“He could have stopped you from getting sick.”


“Well obviously he had a reason for allowing this to happen to me, I don’t understand what it is, but I know that I have to accept it.”


“That’s what I don’t understand, how anyone could accept this happening to them?”


“It’s only by the grace of God.”


“We are so young, why should we even have to worry about dying, you are not eighteen yet, and I am not sixteen, and we are already talking about your dying.”


“We are talking about it, because it’s happening we do not have the power to change that, only the Lord does, he is going to have to intervene if he wants me to live longer, but I have a feeling that is not to be.”


“I wish it were. I wish you weren’t dying.”


“Misty all the wishing isn’t going to change what’s to be. I am going to cherish every moment I have and thank the Lord, even in my weakness.”


“You are a stronger person than I could ever be.”


“You are stronger than you realize.”


“I don’t think so.”


“I do.”


“I am glad you do Lorraina, I guess you have more faith in me than I do in myself.”


“I’ve always had faith in you, you are a wonderful friend, a great sister, and a great pereson, but you are selling yourself short far to often.”


“Thank you for saying the wonderful things about me you say, but I feel so inadequate much of the time. I watch you hurting, and I can do nothing about it.”


“You are doing something, you pray with me, your there for me, you never have abandoned me.”


“I would never do that.”


“That’s what makes you so special.”


“I love you Lorraina.”


“I love you too Misty.”


 


Chapter Eight:


Lorraina made it to her eightenth birthday, and we celebrated by having a small party at the house. We knew anything more could be dangerous for Lorraina, and she did not like going out in public feeloing the way she did, the only places she would go were to church, and to the library with me on the rare days when she actually felt like getting out of bed. We could all see we were lossing her more and more everyday, and it was breaking our hearts. Mon and Dad continued to blame themselves for this nameless enemy that was taking my ssiter away, and I often found myself pointing the fingers at myself for my sisters struggles. I knew that was not what Lorraina wanted though, so I was getting better about not doing that.


Thank you Lord for giving my sister this day, may it not wear her out, and may she be able to enjoy her eightenth birthday.


“I appreciate this.” My sister told us, as we prepared a small party for her. “I wanted to celebrate, but I didn’t want a big party.”


“I can understand that.” I told my sister.


“I hope that my friends are able to come.” Lorraina said, but I knew she did not really expect them, they had been staying away for a long time now.


“I hope so too.” I said, not wanting to discourage my sister, but I knew she understand that it was very likely that they would not show up.


“I am glad that you guys are doing this for me.”


“So am I.”


Thank you Lord for giving me the relationship I have with Lorraina, and I thank you for the time you have given us together. Thank you for giving us the chance to celebrate another birthday with my sister. She’s eighteen Lord, and I have a strong feeling this is going to be her last birthday with us, I thank you for giving us at least this.


I was taking my sisters advise, thanking the Lord for what we had, instead of focusing on what we didn’t have. I was grateful for every moment I had with my sister , I knew that if I spent my time in worrying about her dying instead of treasuring the time we did have together then I would be wasting that time, and I did not want to waste that time, I wanted to hold on to that time. I wanted to grow closer to my sister, and I wanted us to build the memories that would last a lifetime.


“I am glad we are able to spend my birthday together.” Lorraina told me. “You are the one I am truly thankful for, the one who has remained beside my side constanly throughout all of this.”


“I promiseed you early on, that I would help you through this.”


“And I appreciate that.”


“I am glad that I am able to at least help you by keeping you company.”


“That helps more than you realize.”


“I am glad.”


“I appreciate you.”


“And I appreciate you too Lorriana, and I want to wish you a very blessed birthday.”


“So far it has been blessed. You and Mom and Dad didn’t have to go through all this trouble.”


“You deserve this and so much more.” I told Lorraina.


“This is perfect.” My sister said.


I was glad she liked the way we had decorated the dinning room full of banners I had made on the computer, and Mother had made her favorite cake, and she was showered in presents but it was also sad in a way because we all realized that this was going to probably be her last birthday, she was dying and she was only eighteen. That fact always had away of dampening our spirits. I was not about to let my sister seeing me look so upset though, because this was about her, and that was not what she wanted, for us to be sad, she wanted us to celebrate the life she had lived, and was going to live until it was her time to go home and be with the Lord.


I was able to push my worries and fears about my sister dying aside long enough for all of us to celebrate the fact that Lorraina had lived to be eighteen. It was a miracle that she had made it to see eighteen, we had been afraid we were going to loose her long before this, but the Lord had granted us the chance to spend one more birthday with my sister.


Lord thank you for what you have given me, thank you for this time with my sister. I know I have not been very grateful lately but it hurts me to see my sister in so much pain. I love you though Lord, and although sometimes I feel as if I am placing the blame on you that is not my intetnion. I am just so confused as to why this is happening to my sister.


“Misty you’ve been great to me, I know this has been hard on you, but I do appreciate everything you have done and continue to do.”


“I am glad that I can be here for you.”


“I am too.” My sister admitted. “I would be lonely without you.”


I felt the same way, I didn’t know what I would do when the Lord called my sister home, but I didn’t want her to continue to suffer, because I was being selfished. She deserved a chance to be free of pain, and that chance may only come in her death. I could not wish my sister to fight this much longer, because I knew she was in a great deal of pain, and I did not wish that kind of pain on anyone especially my sister.


We were all surprised when Lorraina’s friend May came to the door, and wanted to celebrate Lorrains birthday with her. I was glad for that, because I knew how much it meant to my sister. Having May there would bring joy to my sister, and she deserved the joy.


“I want to be here for Lorraina. I’ve been a lousy friend to her.” May admitted. “I was scared, I did not like seeing her suffering.”


“I know, we all are scared, but I know Lorraina will be glad to have you back in her life.”


“I hope so.”


“Lorraina’s not one to be angry at another person, because they were afraid.”


“I know, I just feel as if I did her wrong.”


“Well you’re here now.”


Chapter Nine:


“I am so glad May made it to my party.” Lorraina said a few days later, and she was glad too that May had been stopping by everyday aftter we got out of school to keep Lorraina company. I knew Lorraina needed that.


“I am glad she did too. She feels guilty for letting you go through this alone.”


“I was never alone.”


“I know, and she knows that, but she means not having been there herself.”


“I understand she was afraid.”


“We all are.”


“I know.”


Lord thank you for bringing my sisters best friend back to her. I know she considers me a best friend too, but I know she needs May as well. Having May to hang out with, to talk to has helped her, it has allowed her to get a glimpse into life as an eighteen year old, she’s a high school senior, and she will not even get to go to prom, but I am glad that May is willing to be here for her, talk to her about boys, do all the stuff that friends do.


“I am glad that having May back in your life has brought you joy.”


“It has allowed me to feel like a high school senior, although I am being home schooled, I do miss many of things about going to school. If I was stronger I would go, because it would get me out of the house, and my mind off things.”


“I know you would Lorraina. I wish you could still go to school, but I am glad that at least if you can’t go and enjoy your senior year May can keep you up to date on all that is happening. I am not in the Senior class so I don’t know that I would be able to do that.”


“You do plenty for me Misty, don’t ever sale yourself short.”


“I still wish I could do more.”


“Misty we’ve been over this, I appreciate all you do for me, I would not ask, or want you to do anymore.”


“Than you Lorraina.”


“For what?”


“For always making me feel better, when it should be the other way around.”


“It’s the way it is.” Lorraiaa said. “We can’t change that.”


“I know.”


I did not want to wear my sister out anymore than I already had, so I dropped the subject. Going into the living room just to think, I did not understand why my sister always remained so positve, though I knew there were times she did wonder, she did question, she felt weak and vulnerable, but she did not talk about it often,. I knew it was hard for her to express verbally what she was feeling, but she also did not like to see her family worrying about her, the way that she knew we did.


Lord I don’t know how much longer my sister has, but for whatever time she has, let me cherish her, let me appreciate her, and let me have the strength to let her go when the time comes. I know this has to be hard on her too, being eighteen and facing death, when she really has just begun living, but it is happening and she is strong when it comes to the matter of the spirit, I thank you for that, because I know without that, she would fall apart.


Lately my prayers were jumbled together, but they were all focused on Lorraina, and the fact that I was loosing her. We were all loosing her, I did not want to act depressed around her though, because she had enough heartache in her life, enough pain.


‘She’s getting worse isn’t she?” May asked me one day at school, We were both sitting in the Cafeteria waiting for the start bell to ring, for our first period class, but I had gotten to school early that day, and we had plenty of time to talk to think.


“Yes to be honest with you she is.” I said, trying not to direct the anger I felt for what was happening to my sister to May. This was not May’s fault, it just was, but that didn’t make it any easier to go through.


“I hate that this is happening to her.” May said, letting the tears fall from her eyes freely. I had not realized how much May was hurting to, but she and Lorraina had been friends since preschool and despite the fact that for awhile May had tried to stay away, I knew she always cared, she was one of the few who would pull me aside and ask how my sister was, even when she would not come and see her, and that was what promped me to invite her to Lorraina’s party.


“I hate it too, but the fact is Lorraina is dying. We don’t know what from, the tests were causing her so much pain we agreed just to let her go.”


“I hate to think of her in pain.”


“I am afraid she is everyday, though she does everything to act like she is not, and truth be told I think despite everything she really is afraid.”


“Of dying?”


“Not so much of dying, at least in death she will be free of pain, but she is scared of what will happen to us when she dies.”


“It doesn’t seem fair that she should have to be worrying about us, when she is the one who is so sick.”


“That’s the way Lorraina is.”


“For as long as I have known her, she has put others in front of herself, and our friendship goes way back.”


“Mom told me that from the moment I was born, she knew just how special and selfless my sister was, when she was only two and she came to see Mom with me in the hospital, she gave me that stuffed bear I keep on my bed, and Mom said that before I was born she could not get that bear out of Lorraina’s hands.”


I knew Lorraina spoke the truth , prayer was all we had at the moment, and prayer was going to have to see us through this. My sister was dying and the doctors couldn’t understand why, they could see the physical symptoms, but they did not see the underlying cause of them, and it made it harder for us because we wanted answers. We needed answers, it was our only hope.


“I know that, but I still ask myself why this is happening to you everyday, why you have to suffer like this.”


“Misty I know you do, I often question myself, but all our questions is not going to change the fact that I am dying, I know that now, I just don’t know when. I guess in a sense we all die a little more everyday.”


“I guess we do, but your death is coming to early.”


“None of us can say exactly our time, we don’t know, only the good Lord above does.”


“I know, but I wish in the meantime you did not have to suffer so much.”


“I wish that too, but if I do I am not going to remain angry at the Lord because of it.”


“I am trying not to.”


“I know you are, but you are carrying the angrer I can see it in you.”


“Am I that obvious?”I asked.


“Not to everyone, but to me, I can read you well.” Lorraina said.


“I know, and I am trying to get over the anger, but it does hurt me to see you suffering, and it makes me angry.”


“I know, but if you have to be angry, don’t direct your anger towards the Lord, do something productive with it, write about it, try and get your emotions out that way, but this is not the Lord’s fault.”


“He could have stopped you from getting sick.”


“Well obviously he had a reason for allowing this to happen to me, I don’t understand what it is, but I know that I have to accept it.”


“That’s what I don’t understand, how anyone could accept this happening to them?”


“It’s only by the grace of God.”


“We are so young, why should we even have to worry about dying, you are not eighteen yet, and I am not sixteen, and we are already talking about your dying.”


“We are talking about it, because it’s happening we do not have the power to change that, only the Lord does, he is going to have to intervene if he wants me to live longer, but I have a feeling that is not to be.”


“I wish it were. I wish you weren’t dying.”


“Misty all the wishing isn’t going to change what’s to be. I am going to cherish every moment I have and thank the Lord, even in my weakness.”


“You are a stronger person than I could ever be.”


“You are stronger than you realize.”


“I don’t think so.”


“I do.”


“I am glad you do Lorraina, I guess you have more faith in me than I do in myself.”


“I’ve always had faith in you, you are a wonderful friend, a great sister, and a great pereson, but you are selling yourself short far to often.”


“Thank you for saying the wonderful things about me you say, but I feel so inadequate much of the time. I watch you hurting, and I can do nothing about it.”


“You are doing something, you pray with me, your there for me, you never have abandoned me.”


“I would never do that.”


“That’s what makes you so special.”


“I love you Lorraina.”


“I love you too Misty.”


 


Chapter Eight:


Lorraina made it to her eightenth birthday, and we celebrated by having a small party at the house. We knew anything more could be dangerous for Lorraina, and she did not like going out in public feeloing the way she did, the only places she would go were to church, and to the library with me on the rare days when she actually felt like getting out of bed. We could all see we were lossing her more and more everyday, and it was breaking our hearts. Mon and Dad continued to blame themselves for this nameless enemy that was taking my ssiter away, and I often found myself pointing the fingers at myself for my sisters struggles. I knew that was not what Lorraina wanted though, so I was getting better about not doing that.


Thank you Lord for giving my sister this day, may it not wear her out, and may she be able to enjoy her eightenth birthday.


“I appreciate this.” My sister told us, as we prepared a small party for her. “I wanted to celebrate, but I didn’t want a big party.”


“I can understand that.” I told my sister.


“I hope that my friends are able to come.” Lorraina said, but I knew she did not really expect them, they had been staying away for a long time now.


“I hope so too.” I said, not wanting to discourage my sister, but I knew she understand that it was very likely that they would not show up.


“I am glad that you guys are doing this for me.”


“So am I.”


Thank you Lord for giving me the relationship I have with Lorraina, and I thank you for the time you have given us together. Thank you for giving us the chance to celebrate another birthday with my sister. She’s eighteen Lord, and I have a strong feeling this is going to be her last birthday with us, I thank you for giving us at least this.


I was taking my sisters advise, thanking the Lord for what we had, instead of focusing on what we didn’t have. I was grateful for every moment I had with my sister , I knew that if I spent my time in worrying about her dying instead of treasuring the time we did have together then I would be wasting that time, and I did not want to waste that time, I wanted to hold on to that time. I wanted to grow closer to my sister, and I wanted us to build the memories that would last a lifetime.


“I am glad we are able to spend my birthday together.” Lorraina told me. “You are the one I am truly thankful for, the one who has remained beside my side constanly throughout all of this.”


“I promiseed you early on, that I would help you through this.”


“And I appreciate that.”


“I am glad that I am able to at least help you by keeping you company.”


“That helps more than you realize.”


“I am glad.”


“I appreciate you.”


“And I appreciate you too Lorriana, and I want to wish you a very blessed birthday.”


“So far it has been blessed. You and Mom and Dad didn’t have to go through all this trouble.”


“You deserve this and so much more.” I told Lorraina.


“This is perfect.” My sister said.


I was glad she liked the way we had decorated the dinning room full of banners I had made on the computer, and Mother had made her favorite cake, and she was showered in presents but it was also sad in a way because we all realized that this was going to probably be her last birthday, she was dying and she was only eighteen. That fact always had away of dampening our spirits. I was not about to let my sister seeing me look so upset though, because this was about her, and that was not what she wanted, for us to be sad, she wanted us to celebrate the life she had lived, and was going to live until it was her time to go home and be with the Lord.


I was able to push my worries and fears about my sister dying aside long enough for all of us to celebrate the fact that Lorraina had lived to be eighteen. It was a miracle that she had made it to see eighteen, we had been afraid we were going to loose her long before this, but the Lord had granted us the chance to spend one more birthday with my sister.


Lord thank you for what you have given me, thank you for this time with my sister. I know I have not been very grateful lately but it hurts me to see my sister in so much pain. I love you though Lord, and although sometimes I feel as if I am placing the blame on you that is not my intetnion. I am just so confused as to why this is happening to my sister.


“Misty you’ve been great to me, I know this has been hard on you, but I do appreciate everything you have done and continue to do.”


“I am glad that I can be here for you.”


“I am too.” My sister admitted. “I would be lonely without you.”


I felt the same way, I didn’t know what I would do when the Lord called my sister home, but I didn’t want her to continue to suffer, because I was being selfished. She deserved a chance to be free of pain, and that chance may only come in her death. I could not wish my sister to fight this much longer, because I knew she was in a great deal of pain, and I did not wish that kind of pain on anyone especially my sister.


We were all surprised when Lorraina’s friend May came to the door, and wanted to celebrate Lorrains birthday with her. I was glad for that, because I knew how much it meant to my sister. Having May there would bring joy to my sister, and she deserved the joy.


“I want to be here for Lorraina. I’ve been a lousy friend to her.” May admitted. “I was scared, I did not like seeing her suffering.”


“I know, we all are scared, but I know Lorraina will be glad to have you back in her life.”


“I hope so.”


“Lorraina’s not one to be angry at another person, because they were afraid.”


“I know, I just feel as if I did her wrong.”


“Well you’re here now.”


Chapter Nine:


“I am so glad May made it to my party.” Lorraina said a few days later, and she was glad too that May had been stopping by everyday aftter we got out of school to keep Lorraina company. I knew Lorraina needed that.


“I am glad she did too. She feels guilty for letting you go through this alone.”


“I was never alone.”


“I know, and she knows that, but she means not having been there herself.”


“I understand she was afraid.”


“We all are.”


“I know.”


Lord thank you for bringing my sisters best friend back to her. I know she considers me a best friend too, but I know she needs May as well. Having May to hang out with, to talk to has helped her, it has allowed her to get a glimpse into life as an eighteen year old, she’s a high school senior, and she will not even get to go to prom, but I am glad that May is willing to be here for her, talk to her about boys, do all the stuff that friends do.


“I am glad that having May back in your life has brought you joy.”


“It has allowed me to feel like a high school senior, although I am being home schooled, I do miss many of things about going to school. If I was stronger I would go, because it would get me out of the house, and my mind off things.”


“I know you would Lorraina. I wish you could still go to school, but I am glad that at least if you can’t go and enjoy your senior year May can keep you up to date on all that is happening. I am not in the Senior class so I don’t know that I would be able to do that.”


“You do plenty for me Misty, don’t ever sale yourself short.”


“I still wish I could do more.”


“Misty we’ve been over this, I appreciate all you do for me, I would not ask, or want you to do anymore.”


“Than you Lorraina.”


“For what?”


“For always making me feel better, when it should be the other way around.”


“It’s the way it is.” Lorraiaa said. “We can’t change that.”


“I know.”


I did not want to wear my sister out anymore than I already had, so I dropped the subject. Going into the living room just to think, I did not understand why my sister always remained so positve, though I knew there were times she did wonder, she did question, she felt weak and vulnerable, but she did not talk about it often,. I knew it was hard for her to express verbally what she was feeling, but she also did not like to see her family worrying about her, the way that she knew we did.


Lord I don’t know how much longer my sister has, but for whatever time she has, let me cherish her, let me appreciate her, and let me have the strength to let her go when the time comes. I know this has to be hard on her too, being eighteen and facing death, when she really has just begun living, but it is happening and she is strong when it comes to the matter of the spirit, I thank you for that, because I know without that, she would fall apart.


Lately my prayers were jumbled together, but they were all focused on Lorraina, and the fact that I was loosing her. We were all loosing her, I did not want to act depressed around her though, because she had enough heartache in her life, enough pain.


‘She’s getting worse isn’t she?” May asked me one day at school, We were both sitting in the Cafeteria waiting for the start bell to ring, for our first period class, but I had gotten to school early that day, and we had plenty of time to talk to think.


“Yes to be honest with you she is.” I said, trying not to direct the anger I felt for what was happening to my sister to May. This was not May’s fault, it just was, but that didn’t make it any easier to go through.


“I hate that this is happening to her.” May said, letting the tears fall from her eyes freely. I had not realized how much May was hurting to, but she and Lorraina had been friends since preschool and despite the fact that for awhile May had tried to stay away, I knew she always cared, she was one of the few who would pull me aside and ask how my sister was, even when she would not come and see her, and that was what promped me to invite her to Lorraina’s party.


“I hate it too, but the fact is Lorraina is dying. We don’t know what from, the tests were causing her so much pain we agreed just to let her go.”


“I hate to think of her in pain.”


“I am afraid she is everyday, though she does everything to act like she is not, and truth be told I think despite everything she really is afraid.”


“Of dying?”


“Not so much of dying, at least in death she will be free of pain, but she is scared of what will happen to us when she dies.”


“It doesn’t seem fair that she should have to be worrying about us, when she is the one who is so sick.”


“That’s the way Lorraina is.”


“For as long as I have known her, she has put others in front of herself, and our friendship goes way back.”


“Mom told me that from the moment I was born, she knew just how special and selfless my sister was, when she was only two and she came to see Mom with me in the hospital, she gave me that stuffed bear I keep on my bed, and Mom said that before I was born she could not get that bear out of Lorraina’s hands.”


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Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 11/21/2007
Excellent story, but I think you repeated yourself a few times. Please be careful of this. Well penned!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :D


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