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Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado

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Louisiana's Thoughts And Musings, Continued (January 2, 2008,)
By Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado
Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Rated "G" by the Author.

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Louisiana Sandusky writes some more in her journal, trying to deal with huge changes in her life.

January 2, 2008, Nashville, Tennessee, 10:16 a.m., C.S.T.~

Dear Journal~

Louie again. I am at work; am on break now; still trying to deal with things going on in my life. Am as confused as ever now; still don't know what I may have done to anger some friends, who want nothing to do with me.

I know I may have been wrong in trying to give advice to some friends when they were hurting, but it was only because I was concerned about things going on in their lives. Instead of trying to be supportive, they are ganging up on me, and it's like they're putting me in the middle.

As an example, when Rebekkah broke up with Johnny, I didn't know that Rebekkah wanted more time to be a child. I can understand that; fourteen is too young to have a boyfriend/girlfriend anyway. Yet I think she could have at least waited until after Christmas to break up with my son, not before! Now Rebekkah Cohen and her mother are mad at me.

I wish I could have kept my mouth shut, not say anything, but as usual, I stuck my big foot into my mouth, ended up hurting people I love, care about.

Leave it to me to screw up things again!!

Or with Susie and her cutting. I only told Audrey that Susie needed help; I am concerned that if she doesn't stop she is going to end up brain damaged or more disabled than what she already is; and she jumps down my throat, told me to get the hell out of her life.

All because I was concerned about her daughter, who is physically harming herself.

After all I have done for her, and she treats me like this.

As another example, now Kendra won't have nothing to do with me, and it seems that I am losing friends left and right. Maybe it was a bad mistake for me to be so caring. Maybe it would be better if I just hide myself inside my house, or just not talk to anyone, for fear of "meddling in other people's lives".

I just wonder what horrible things they will say to each other behind my back, without my knowing it. That I'm an unfit mother, that I deserve to have my kids taken away from me, that I am abusing my kids---That I'm a meddling nobody who has no business galavanting in other's lives---

In any event, I'm being treated like a pariah.

All I have to say is this: why????

Maybe it was a bad mistake in adopting all these children. Maybe I ought to terminate my being a mother to them, maybe I ought to just leave Bill, hide inside my house and  not go outside again. I am tired of being made of looking like I am the bad guy when all I did was try to be a friend to those I mentioned. Now they hate me, and they are leaving me left and right; at the rate this is going I won't have any friends left!!

I don't know what to do anymore. I am just about ready to give up on God, give up on life!! Maybe the world would be better off without me! I don't need all this shit in my life; I've HAD it!! I can't take any more!!!!

~Louie Sandusky. :( >tears!<

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Reviewed by Carole Mathys 1/3/2008
These are troubling times for Louie...

love, Carole~
Reviewed by Michelle Kidwell Power In The Pen 1/2/2008
Really well written, but no one was accusing her of being a bad Mother they were just trying to make ti stop looking like Rebekka Rachel was the bad guy, everyone made it sound like the reason she broke up with Johnny was because he was sick
God Bless
Reviewed by Charlie 1/2/2008
Written very well-- she's so real. This is a very real problem too. But in perspective, it's so possible that the stress of the season has got many, many people on tenterhooks. Perhaps it will all blow over if Lou neglects the thoughts for a bit, tries to relax, and focusses on her children and hubby for a while. That's enough to satisfy any brain/heart hunger. In the huge picture, it's they that matter most. Sometimes friends are like balloons, the air that supports them can shrink and expand with the weather, and some have slow leaks... Good luck with that! --Charlie
Reviewed by Joyce Bowling 1/2/2008
A touching write...thought provoking...having patience is difficult, but quiting is not the answer...a great write!
Joyce B.
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 1/2/2008
Ditto George!!

Love Tinka
Reviewed by Georg Mateos 1/2/2008
It is a matter of patience...or how long it will take to carry with a little spoon all the sea water to the beach before we cry uncle...
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner 1/2/2008

Don't think her having all those children is the cause of her and Kendra's falling out. Giving up is not going to solve things--just will create more problems. Know what I mean? They need to talk, and soon. Find out what's at the root of everything...painful baring of the soul, well penned.

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.

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