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Bonnie May

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Member Since: Jan, 2008

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My Husband and His Pistols!
By Bonnie May
Saturday, May 03, 2008

Rated "G" by the Author.

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This is a true story, one I wish I could forget.


My Husband and His Pistols!
We lived in the country behind the Big M shopping center In Middletown Pennsylvania. It was quite handy, they had a grocery store at one end and the store had everything else you would need including furniture. You could see part of the store from our bedroom window at night because it was lit up like a Christmas tree. 
One night our dog wouldn’t stop barking so we hopped out of bed to see what the problem was. We thought it might be an animal of some kind but as we gazed out the window into the darkness, we saw a truck in back of the Big M and we knew it shouldn’t be there, especially that time of night. 
They were being robbed! My husband went into action. He put on his holster and guns over his underwear grabbed his boots and out to the truck he went. It was pretty cold outside for it was late-November and the truck windows were all frosted up. He yelled for me to call 911 as he pulled out of the driveway with his head out the window. “Gosh, he’ going to get his head shot off,” I thought, as I watched him drive down the street.
I did as he said and called 911 not knowing if he caught up with the bad guys or not since I could no longer see their truck behind the store. I imagined all kinds of things, especially as I remembered him driving down the street with his head out the blasted window. He was gone an hour now and still no word, no police, no truck, and no barking dog. I was really getting scared.
About an hour and a half later I saw lights in the driveway and it was my crazy husband pulling in. Flying into the house at breaking speed, he started telling me all about his adventure chasing the bad guy’s truck for miles. The police finally caught up to them and eventually they arrested the bandits. There my husband stood, still wearing his underwear and pistols. It was really hard to take him seriously dressed like that and I bet the police had a hard time deciding on whom to arrest. The Big M owner was so appreciative that he gave us a whole patio set for a reward.
A few weeks went by since the robbery and our dog started barking again. It was very late and dark outside but I ran down the stairs and out back to where our swimming pool was and could hardly make out anything. All of a sudden, I saw movement in the tarp covered pool. Oh no, I thought, it’s our dog, Duchess, who happened to be a 200 pound Newfoundland. I screamed for Jim and dove in the icy cold water. Duchess was tangled up in the tarp and the only thing that stuck out of the water was her nose. I yanked and yanked at the tarp trying to free her and got twisted up in it myself. With all the twisting and yanking, somehow I lost my nightgown. Oh my, I can read the headlines now, “Nude Lady and Her Dog, Drowned While Skinny Dipping in a Covered Pool at an Ungodly Hour.” 
In between yanking at the tarp and screaming for my husband, I managed to get the dog freed. By this time, I was exhausted and wasn’t sure I had enough strength to get myself untangled. Somehow I made it to the side of the pool, put my head down on the edge of the pool and tried to catch my breath so I could climb out. As my breath was becoming normal again, I looked up. 
You will never guess what was standing in front of me or then again, maybe you will! Yep, you guessed it; my husband was standing there bigger than life in his underwear, boots and his holster with pistols drawn. “I thought someone was being robbed,” he sheepishly stated.
What a big help he was, even the dog wasn’t impressed.
Written by,
Bonnie May




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Reviewed by A Serviceable Villain 11/21/2008

What a funny story - I really enjoyed this read . . . "even the dog wasn’t impressed" - great last line!!


Reviewed by Randall Barfield 5/6/2008
Thanks for the late-night laugh. I just saw this. Bet you were glad when you moved away! Hugs
Reviewed by Connie Faust 5/4/2008
Don't ever change, Bonnie (and Clyde)!
It's plain to SEE how you two got together, 2 of a kind. Hopefully, your neighbors are sound sleepers. I thought Bill would hear me laughing from out in the living room, but I got through the whole story without him interrupting.
I had more laughs when I read the ads. First of all, Jim's picture was almost totally covered by a block of ads, as though it was Xrated. Some of the ads were: "Pennsylvania Private Eye" -- "Free Background Checks" -- "The War on Dogs" -- "Hot Brides from Brazil!" I am not kidding! It seems that they match the ads with the material, which I've noticed before; it can be pretty comical, but alas, they hit the nail on the head this time!
I love you anyhow.
Reviewed by Georg Mateos 5/4/2008
That's my kind of man, shot first and ask questions after, and if you need to day OOPS! well...the intention was good, wasn't?
The laughs were a bonus ! ! !

Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 5/3/2008
Hilarious!! LOL
Reviewed by Cryssa C 5/3/2008
hee, hee, hee.... ha, ha...
That is one funny story! But... I have to ask... is it fiction or fact?

Cryssa :~)

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