“Are you okay?” Becka asked. “You want me to get the doctor?”
“No.” I said. “What am I going to do? My career is over.”
“Heather I had not even thought about that, I am so sorry.” Becka said, by now we were both in tears, I was glad that she was there though, glad that I had my best friend and my fiance to help me through this. This was one battle I knew I could not fight alone.
“It’s not your Fault Becka, he knew what he was doing, he wanted me off this case.”
“You’re one of the best agents, how are we going to solve this without you?”
“Becka you are selling yourself short again. You are a good agent, don’t let yourself think anything less.”
“I’m sorry Heather.”
“You don’t need to keep saying your sorry, you have nothing to be sorry about.”
“ I just feel as if I should have done more to protect you, we’re on the same team, I should have had your back.”
“He snuck up on us Becka, he would have got me one way or another, he knew what he was doing.”
Becka started breaking down crying again. I knew she was still feeling guilty because I was shot. She felt as if should have been her, and I knew that was not the case. I was glad she didn’t have to go through what I was going through, I didn’t want my best friend hurting the way I was hurting, and it went well beyond the physical pain.
“Maybe we should go and let you get some rest.” Becka said.
“No Becka please, I don’t want to be alone right now.”
“Alright Heather. I am here if you need me.”
“You don’t have to thank me, you would do the same for me.”
“I’m scared Becka, what’s my life going to be like now? What am I going to do when I leave the hospital?”
“Heather take it one step at a time, but you are going to get through this, you are strong.”
“I don’t feel very strong right now.”
“I know Heather, but you have the Lord, he will give you the strength to get through this.”
“I hope so.”
“Heather you’re going to be okay.”
“I don’t feel okay, I am not going to walk and that means I am no longer going to have a job, I am an agent I need to be on feet. FBI was my calling, why is that being taken away from me?”
“I don’t know Heather, all I know is you are not going to be alone, and I am not going to let you give up. You still have Eric, and you still have me, and in a few months you are going to be a married woman.”
“I’m not going to walk down the aisle.”
“Only God knows that, but no matter what you know Eric loves you and that I love you like a sister.”
“I have to let my Mom know what happened, and you know how she worries.”
“I know, but she is stronger than she lets on and you know she will help you in anyway she can.”
“Yeah, by telling me what I already know, my career is dangerous.”
“You need your Mom though Heather, whether you know it or not, or want to believe it you need her.”
“I know and that’s what makes this so hard.”
“Heather there is no shame in needing someone, we all do.”
“I am supposed to be storng.”
“You are Heather.”
“I’m in a hospital bed hearing the doctors words over and over again in my Head, trying to figure out what my life is going to be like.”
“Heather you are alive, thank God for that.”
“I know.” I said, I knew in my heart God had kept me alive for a reason, but I did not understand why the bullet had shattered my spine, and why this man was going after us now. I prayed that the little girl was okay.
“How’s Jenny?” I asked Eric.
“She’s going to be okay physically, but I can’t say the same about mentally. She is still not saying what he did to her.”
“He’s a monster, he needs to be caught.”
“I know honey and we are working on that.”
“Maybe you should go back to the office, and see if there are any new clues.”
“Are you sure? I can stay here if you need me.” Eric offered.
“I’m sure honey, I ’m not going anywhere.” I said trying to force a smile to let my fiance believe everything was okay, I wanted to believe that myself, but at the moment I felt as if my whole world was turned upside down.
“I will be back soon.”
“Okay. Are you going to need Becka too?”
“Not unless some new clues have emerged if they have I will come and get her. I know you don’t want to be left alone right now though, so she can stay. I love you.”
“I love you too Eric.”