From:The Little Bit Naughty Book of Lap Dancing for Your Lover
This is something for you ladies(and you guys to give to your ladies)to cursor-copy and keep in your WordPerfect Files for later reference or to print-out...as I’ve taken what is listed below from two years of my newsletter, Sensual Seductress Monthly, and posted this to offer some pleasurable ideas that’ll wreck wicked havoc into any lackluster Romantic existence. Indeed, I am a Sexual Anthropologist, constantly seeking inspiration that’ll entice and revive the Romantic lives of women...especially when three of my girl-friends just this last week have informed me that they are all getting a divorce: one whom has been married for three years informed me that the sex/romance was dead in her Romantic Relationship after five-months in to her marriage, and another is now in her third divorce...sigh* So, whether you’re swinging single or heart-deep in to a Romantic Relationship...I’m only aspiring to spread a little Lust into a veryyyyyyyyyy sexually humdrum world.
What romance means to Your Man: Oral sex*Any ticket to a sporting event*You…naked*An evening away from you playing poker with his buddies with no text-message or cell phone interruptions from you*A massage from you that leads to sex*Taking him to test drive a Viper*Oral sex*A sexy text message with a late-night follow-through on the sexy suggestion*Caveman food~~~lots of fatty meat and none of that reduced-fat-crap*A bloody action movie and not an emotional chick flick*Oral sex. Oh, and did I mention: Oral Sex!
Europeans know how to hook-up for pleasurable & excellent sex in their Romantic Relationships…doesn’t matter if they’ve been with someone for two-years or twenty-years…sex comes First! Europeans have a much more relaxed and enjoyable life than nearly all Americans…because Europeans Know The Principle is Pleasure…and that negating to keep one’s hand-in for ‘the good sex’ fatally messes with a Romantic Relationship's MoJo; I learned that Fact a long time ago…which is why I determined to continually give my man the Paramount in Intimacy: the sweetest or the most-twisted one-on-one sex (depending on The Mood!)...regardless of what was happening between Us on a daily basis. Ladies, I highly recommend that you try thinking like a European chick when it comes to sex and that you should begin your transformation by stepping-out on the USA and getting some naughty goodies from the UK!
You should go online to www.sexy.namedecoder.com, and put your first name into the box, pick your gender and then choose the Avatar that best describes how you see yourself sexually, and then hit send. Mine was: “N.A.N.N.E.T.T.E.: Nocturnal Amorous Nonconformist Needing Erotic Touches and Thrilling Embraces”. Well, damn! Who’da thought that a computer-chip could know me sooooooooo precisely! Now, go to the website and see what yours is. Come on, it’s fun!
Throw a Bad Girl Party~~~my good friend, Renee, owns the site www.Partygals.com, which is one of the finest online companies that cater to women who want to throw private parties to sell sexual-girly things for clandestine bedroom fun. These intimate parties that are thrown in private homes have many different names, like ‘slumber parties’ or ‘tea parties’~but the purpose is all the same: to introduce you to the opportunity to remove the blah out of your romantic relationship. So, go to one of these parties or throw one yourself! Absolute Essentials for your Bedroom Box: a mellow CD with exclusive songs you’ve downloaded off the internet just for sex; breath mints for Before and After; two chilled mini bottled waters; a mini flashlight (so you won’t break the mood by switching on the light when searching in your Bedroom Box for all those naughty goodies); unscented baby wipes (you can sooo figure this one out on your own!).
Give him a Happy Ending Massage: rub him from neck-to-heel, head-to-toe, and then finish him off with a well-lubricated hand job. Learn to speak sexy sentences in foreign languages such as Russian, French, Italian or Spanish~~~and master the accents by checking-out tapes from your local library. Surprise him with your chic sex-talk on a special evening of your choice.
Every few months in every-other chick magazine, one of the many relationship experts will write a serious article denouncing ‘the bar/club scene’, and how searching for a mate in that depravity-of-a-location will only lead to horrendous emotional disaster. Now, I am not a bar/club scene kinda chick, mostly because I can’t stand all that smoke in my hair; and I do agree that you have a better chance of finding a lasting STD than a lifetime mate in a bar/club, but hey, that’s only my opinion and not an actual fact and besides, I really think that too many experts spoil the drink! Because if you’re a single gal who’s still looking, sometimes it’s just about your lusty bod and not about your romantic emotions! And where better to find lust, than in a dank bar or glitzy night club that just screams immoral depravity?! So, here’s an idea that will turn a many a horny-male-two-headed-beast: when in a dark, noisy bar or club where everyone blends into one standing-room-only mass, you will always get noticed by sauntering up to the bar and saying in a loud, clear voice to the bartender: “God, I feel like a *Dirty Girl Scout in need of a *Big Unit, a *Ménage a Trios or a great *Piece of Ass! What do you recommend? Of course, a *Vibrator would be *Pure Ecstasy, then again, so would a *Lube Job or a *Wet Kiss that brings on a *Screaming Orgasm. Just make me one of those drinks, bartender, and than point me to all the naughty boys!” Hey, if you’re going to be a lusty slut on the prowl, you may as well fuel the twisted Male imagination! *Mixed Drink Names
If you’ve been searchingfor something purely naughty or wickedly-nasty to email to your man, than you need to visit the #1 Naughty-Cards site on the web, www.naughtycards.com! Send your man a FREE subtle or bluntly sexy invitation for a Night of Pleasure...or email him a nasty sinful summons!
If you’re looking for somequick inspiration for something unique and special to do for your man on a ‘blah-blah day’…than visit www.passionup.com. This website is worth the small membership fee~~~it features printable Love Poetry, printable Erotic Coupons, printable Romantic Cards…just to specify a few topics of Seductive Expertise offered at this site!
Want to find the best Sex Everything? Than go online to www.janesguide.com, where they critique the complete sex industry, from erotica writings and nude photography, to xxx porno. If you want to become more comfortable with becoming his sex object, the site will also give you online addresses and links to other internet sites that feature “girl-next-door” photos, vintage pin-up girls and glamour nudes. One of my best girl-friends, Giovanna, had a glamour semi-nude, black-and-white photo taken for her husband for Valentine’s Day. Just seeing that picture on his dresser gives her a sex-shot-of-confidence boost every day...and it's something wonderful for him to look at as she has been in Iraq since September 2006. You have everything it takes to be sexually confident; all you need to do is explore your own imagination.
Always make sure that you have your man’s favorite after-sex goodies on-hand~~~comfort foods such as:hot wings, cold/frozen pizza, chocolate chips cookies, potato chips, beer. If you are his wife, his live-in fiancée or his live-in girlfriend, continuing to do this deed for him will make it more extraordinary for him because this sort of romantic kindness regularly fades away after a relationship bonds and settles down. I’d also like to point-out that having all his favorite foods handy after sex can also double your pleasure. I don’t know about you, but I for one love a sugary strawberry sundae after a good hard fuck! If someone could manage to find a way to market a Porn and Oreos combo, shit, it would kick-up porn to a trillion dollar industry!
Paint, crayons and glitterare no longer an exclusive activity for your pre/grade-schooler. In fact, the grown-up Girl variety of painting, coloring and sticking glitter is way more fun than your fondest artistic childhood memories! You can rainbow-glitter your entire body from your neck to your feet, so that when you lay your naked self into him, the sparks really fly from your skin onto his. All that glitter leaves a trail of where you've been on him, and gives you bonus ideas of where you can explore him next...You can paint your body and his with neon glow-in-the-dark body paints or with neon glow-in-the-dark soft crayons; or with various fruit-flavored body paints and fruit-flavored soft crayons~~~and there is no getting in trouble if you write nasty words or draw dirty pictures! Not only do the fruit-flavored products taste really yummy and give you a whole new option in getting your daily nutrition, but the glow-in-the-dark products are so cool, you can light up a dark room with your body. You can also find chocolate-flavored body paint as well as multi-flavored whip creams, and make yourself an all-boy banana split...You can jump it up a notch if you want more adventurous playtime, to the land of Liquid Latex, where the colors are numerous and the recreation possibilities are endless! Liquid Latex yourself a pair of second-skin panties or Liquid Latex him a Chippendale’s-style male thong. One precaution though: you cannot Liquid Latex him a condom~although I’d have to admit getting knocked-up that way would definitely be the best failed birth-control story ever told!~Check out the body-à la mode products and more great grown-up Girl stuff, at www.BabeLand.com.
www.pinkkitten.co.ukis a delightful place...it “is an online boutique offering designer lingerie, adult sex toys, erotic fiction, games and gifts to enhance your love life…and it is not just about sex but the whole attitude to your relationship. So along with the vibrators and dildos you can find naughty notes to slip to your loved one, erotic fiction, romantic gifts, lingerie and pampering products to make you look and feel special. Spoil yourself or someone you love." When you’re done there, surf to this over-the-ocean website...www.uk-lingerie-directory.co.uk... it is a lovely discovery where you can purchase the most random of unique and explosive sex-essentials:...and there you will find sooooooooo many lovely naughties, it will put the USA to shame!
Scarlet Magazine is a U.K.-based online magazine for women packed with frank informative features that talk the way women talk to each other when men aren’t around. Scarlet will never patronize you or support tired stereotypes~~~they know that all men are not bastards; that women can (and do) enjoy porn; and that most women do not all dream of being with a “Size 10” man. Scarlet’s features are very diverse…from the hilarious to the self-explanatory~~~such as The Worst Sex Tips Ever Written, to cutting-edge articles like A Hand-Job By Any Other Name…and reporting on the new craze of yoni (vulva) massage as a form of ‘alternative therapy’. Scarlet’s sex advice is more candid than you will find in any women’s lifestyle magazine, covering subjects from Abstinence to Strap-on Sex for Straight Couples. In Scarlet, they feature bestsellers and erotic books, mainstream Hollywood blockbusters alongside women-friendly adult films~~~making the point that women are just as visually aroused as men (a scientific fact) and that no sexual content should be a ‘taboo’! Scarlet also have a free newsletter that is wonderful, so please sign-up! Subscribe to Scarlet Magazine today! www.scarletmagazine.co.uk.
Good Sex should never be A Treat for the Holiday or Valentine’s Day or on your man’s birthday…Good Sex should be The Staple...on a boring Wednesday or a lazy Saturday or any day of any month that has the letter “A” in it! I have always been so happy with the Intimate side of my Romantic Relationships because I wanted and chose to keep things Hot! Hot! Hot!...and I truly want you to Know how it feels to always desire your man, even when he’s behaving like a clueless asshole from another planet and you’d like nothing more than to smack him in the head with a brick...so please: spice-up your 2007 by making your Romantic Relationship a MUST on your To-Do List.
There are 27 percentage-off coupons from 27 popular romantically/sexually based Internet companies in the newly Revised version of my book “Creative Screwing: a woman’s guide to becoming an erotic enchantress of superlustful sex”…and as a thank you to me for putting their coupon in my book, Libby, who is the Marketing Queen at www.adameve.com, Priority Mailed me a gigantic grown-up-girl goodie-box packed with many of www.adameve.com’s supreme products…and I gleefully tell you that what Libby sent me totally redefines the word ‘goodie’.So…I re-packed many of those goodies and DHL-dropped some lusty romance into the Romantic Relationships of my girl-friends. Thank you to Libby and www.adameve.comfor providing some Summer-Sex-Sizzle into the lives of many of my girl-friends.
Go online to www.Playboy.com, and purchase a replica of the original Playboy Club Bunny Costume. Put in on and serve him his favorite drink. Then ask him what he’d like as an appetizer before dinner.
Have a real tussle with him in bed by creating your own personal wrestling arena! You can order the Romance Wrestling Arena: it has four ring posts, four base plates and lots of red rope. Think of how much better your arguments will be with both of you naked in a wrestling ring! Go online right now and purchase this ingenious idea from: www.romancewrestling.com.
Whether you’re simply in a man-drought or just want more Male, Dr. Winnifred Cutler just might be your Fairy Godmother. With a twirl of her magic chemical wand, Dr. Cutler has potioned a serum called ATHENA: Pheromone 10,13. 70% of the women who have mixed this synthesized pure human pheromone in their perfume, have seduced, swayed and snagged a boudoir of willful admires! For more information on how to get more Male, or simply keep the one you’re got sniffing around the house, contacted Dr. Cutler at: www.athena-inst.com.
Contact any of the brothels in the State of Nevada, such as The Chicken Ranch, and ask the business office to please mail you one of their commercial-trade sex-menus. On an evening when you both have a lot of time for some fun, put a red-light in a bedroom lamp and throw-around satin pillows and soft, colorful blankets, then hand him the sex-menu and tell him you’ll give him his lay-of-choice. Offer him the complete Brothel treatment!
I think a successful romantic relationship only happens when a woman has found a way to continually seduce her man. Some women do it with food, others with little gifts and love notes, others with physical affection…but most women mix-it-up with a combination of numerous assorted ideas. It’s probably the Masala in me, but I think it’s ingenious to continually seduce a man with fabulous food…and then the naughty little French thing. I love cooking and I’m always searching for the best recipes…so here are two yummy recipes for a sweet Sunday Morning Brunch when it’s just the two of you. Okay, come on. You can find at least one Sunday Morning out of the entire year when it’s just the two of you!
~Banana-Bourbon French Toast~
Recipe created by Rori Trovato
SAUCE:2 tablespoons unsalted butter;1 cup light brown sugar;4 bananas sliced lengthwise;1/2 cup bourbon. BATTER:6 large eggs;1/4 teaspoon salt;2 tablespoons vanilla;1/2 cup heavy cream or half-and-half;4 to 8 tablespoons butter 8 slices country-style white bread preferably 4 to 7 days old);Maple syrup (optional)To make sauce: In a small pan, melt butter and brown sugar over medium heat; carefully add bananas and simmer for 2 minutes. Remove from stove and add bourbon; return to flame and continue simmering an additional 2 minutes. Cover and keep warm until ready to use. To make batter: In a large bowl, lightly whisk eggs and salt. Add vanilla. Pour in cream, continuing to whisk until well blended. Melt 1 to 2 tablespoons butter in a large frying pan over medium-high heat. Dip 2 bread slices in batter and cook each side until golden brown. Repeat with remaining bread slices. Transfer 2 bread slices to individual plates and top with banana slices and sauce. Serve with maple syrup, if desired.
Created by Rachael Ray
Ingredients: 1 pounds Applewood smoked bacon; 1/2 cup dark brown sugar
Preheat oven to 350°F. Arrange bacon on slotted broiler pan. Sprinkle with brown sugar and place in oven to bake until crisp, about 20 to 22 minutes.
Make sure you gently touch his cock during a private moment, at least once-a-day at any time that neither one of you are ‘in the mood’, and when there is no opportunity for a sex-tryst. This works especially well in situations such as: a time when you’re in traffic after a hellish day of holiday shopping; or the kids are crabby and snappish after a long vacation day at the beach; or he’s just found-out his critical boss wants extra work done on a report. When you touch and connect with your man’s cock in this way, it makes him feel wanted, needed and loved.
Best Romantic Movies...EVER: When Natalie Wood and Warren Beatty stand alone for the last time together...she is leaving to marry a man she does not love and he is married to a woman he does not love...you can feel their heat coming off the screen: two people passionately in love, caught-up in the complications of Life. Doesn't matter which truly romantic movie it is...nothing is felt stronger than two people who are so in love, the viewer cries...be it Lopez in 'Out of Sight' or Monroe in 'Bus Stop'. You’ve heard the titles of most of these movies…a few you’ve defiantly seen. What I’ve recently discovered amongst most of my gal-pals, is that quite a lot of wonderful romantic movies (such as “The Taming of The Shrew”) have been under-viewed by them, while many great romantic movies (namely “Pretty Woman”) have been viewed more times than any of them care to admit! If you want to find truly great romance, than you must expand your DVD collection to include all that I have listed below! In these movies, from the past as well as current, you will not only discover yourself…but you will also gain valuable insight into the heart of a man. Just remember to stock-up on popcorn, chocolates and Kleenex!
1)Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (1958)
2)Ever After (1998)
3)Love With The Proper Stranger (1963)
4)Truly, Madly, Deeply (1991)
5)Return to Me (2000)
6)Bus Stop (1961)
7)The Notebook (2004)
8)Some Kind of Wonderful (1987)
9)Two Can Play that Game (2001)
10)The Awful Truth (1937)
11)The Lady Eve (1941)
12)The Way We Were (1973)
13)Love and Basketball (2000)
15)Dog Fight (1991)
16)The Women (1939)
17)From the Terrace (1960)
18)The Best of Everything (1959)
19)All About Eve (1950)
20)The Long Hot Summer (1958)
21)Angel Eye’s (2001)
23)Wild Orchid 2-Shades of Blue (1992)
25)Lady Jane (1985)
26)Sixteen Candles (1984)
27)An Officer and A Gentleman (1982)
28)The Last of The Mohicans (1992)
29)Love Actually (2003)
30)The Taming of The Shrew (1967)
31)Barefoot In the Park (1967)
32)The Goodbye Girl (1977)
33)Keeper of the Flame (1942)
34)Out of Sight (1988)
35)Notting Hill (1999)
36)Grosse Point Blank (1997)
38)Deliver Us from Eva (2003)
39)My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002)
40)Down With Love (2003)
41)The Philadelphia Story (1940)
43)The Brothers (2001)
44)Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner? (1967)
45)Of Human Bondage (1934)
46)A Summer Place (1959)
47)Splendor In the Grass (1961)
49)Love Letters (1945)
50) The Quiet Man (1952)
www.Xandria.com is one of the more exceptional siteson the Internet to add to your romantic/sexual repertoire…and they still sell the 1993 version of my book: “Creative Screwing: a woman’s guide to becoming an erotic enchantress of superlustful sex”! From games, books and videos, to oils and creams and sexy goodie baskets, the products at www.Xandria.com are extraordinary, and the prices are affordable. The happiest relationships are kept hot~n~spicy, so click here to add some sizzle to your boring weeknights!
If February be the month of Love, then I declare March be the month of Lust! Sweet Ciao to dark chocolate-cherries & red velvet roses…Lusty Greetings to lovely wicked emerald-green panties & fine Irish liquor! Your motivation to keep your romantic relationship a sweet-n-lusty adventure is simply to assert monthly justification when purchasing whatever it takes to keep your sexy home-fire an all-consuming inferno. When you leave to go shopping for items like Motion Lotion and thigh-high stockings on your To-Get List, your man will be feeling soooooo lucky, he might just offer to shop with you so he can buy a few items of his own. A bit of a wee warning here: should he choose to buy a few items of his own that later make you wonder exactly what he was thinking, at least have the sweetness to smile and wink at him and keep his hope alive that you just might consider trying out that thing out…uh, yeah, soon. Don’t dash the man’s anticipation without at least a solid think-through. Go buy something sexy-green and have a lusty month! You should own: ~a pair of crotch-less panties~ ~a comfortable pair of handcuffs~ ~a flat-ended riding crop~ ~a leather blindfold~ ~a fancy garter-belt and garter~ ~Ben Wa balls~ ~satin sheets~ ~Bindi jewels~.
Go to www.AnnieSprinkle.com, and read-up on how to get into her One Woman Sex Show or her Goddess and Sluts Seminars. She is wonderful! Annie Sprinkle will re-train your brain to what a delightful sex life you can have if you will just see yourself as men see you.
Here is what men get at topless bars and Gentlemen clubs: 1)lingerie modeling 2)oil and mud wrestling brawls between a cluster of girls 3)stripper contests 4)banana and cherry eating contests 5)Silhouette dancing 6)Go-Go Dancing 7)Dancing girls on: stages, couches, tables, pedestals 8)Dancing girls in: laps, showers, cages 9)Foxy Boxing 10)Burlesque Dancing 11)Fantasy Costume Dancing 12)Girly pillow fights…and $8.00 for a warm beer! If you want to know how to put on a real sex show for your man, go into any topless bar/club, ask if you can watch a few of the stripper shows, and then get some real seduction tips from a dancer.
by: authoress and exotic dancer Rebecca Drury spills the seven secret — and really sexy! — steps that work on every guy, every time. (Note from Nannette: I suggest you practice these moves first...otherwise, you might trip over your feet or fall on your ass!)
The Grinding Circle
: Stand about 60 centimeters (two feet) from your partner, with your feet slightly more than hip-width apart and your toes turned out. With your hips, begin to draw a circle, keeping your back arched. Now slowly bend your knees and grind down as far as is comfortable, then up again, continually undulating your hips and dancing erotically. It's really important to keep your back arched and upright. If you lean forward, you risk impersonating a sumo wrestler!
: As I've said, lap dancing is about showing off all your assets, so remember to turn around occasionally. For the best effect, turn slowly — your lover should barely notice. When you practice, work out which direction is most natural for you to turn in. And don't be overly concerned with how you do it; just take small steps and aim to make the turn blend into and become part of your dance. Keep circling your hips, and remember your arm movements. As far as possible, try to keep your lover in your gaze as you turn.
The Slap and Tickle
: Turn your back to your audience and, with straight legs, bend forward slightly, look back at him coquettishly and stroke or lightly slap your bottom. I guarantee this will make him smile. Alternatively, still with your back to him, gently sway from your ankles, opening your legs gradually. Slowly, bend over so that your bottom is brazenly pointing at your man. Bend one knee to the side and straighten the other out to the other side. Glide your hand up the straight leg and raise your head over the corresponding shoulder to look back at him. Slap your bottom hard. Repeat on the other side.
The Lap Dance Grind
: Gracefully dance yourself into the triangle made by your lover's open legs, and stand with your back to him and your feet together. Make sure you're as close to the chair as possible. Now bend your knees, keeping your back straight, and gently put your hands on your partner's knees. Lower your bottom toward his lap so that you can just feel his crotch on your skin. Then, keeping your hands on his knees for support, grind down gently, moving your hips in a circular or forward-and-backward motion. Look over your shoulder at your man while you do this, if you can. This is a little tricky, though! Take extra care whenever you go near his groin. If you hurt him, he'll never trust you to dance for him again!
The Breast Stroke
: Every woman has her own personal scent that collects between her breasts, no matter what size they are or what perfume she wears. It's a potent aphrodisiac. So this step is guaranteed to get your lover going! Move closely into the space between his knees. Standing with your legs straight, gently lean forward and place your hands on either side of the chair. Once you have a firm hold, push your breasts toward his face; his nose should be nestled in your cleavage. For added effect, try brushing from side to side and stroking the end of his nose with your bra or nipple. Keep moving in a provocative way throughout.
: Facing your partner, stand between his legs, as close to the chair as you can. Place your knees in the space between his crotch and the edge of the chair. Gently put a slight pressure against his groin with your knees. Lean toward him and blow gently into his ear or on his face. You could even exchange a mouthful of wine with him or pour champagne from your nipples into his mouth. As a variation, try this: Stand up facing your lover, then catch one of his knees between your knees and gently rub up and down his thigh. This is a fabulous sensation. Ask him to do it to you sometime!
The Body Slide
: Standing between your lover's thighs, lean forward and put your hands on the back of the chair for support. Put one knee on each of his thighs, then lift your torso, slide your knees into the space in front of his crotch (careful here!) and slide, slowly, all the way down his body until you're kneeling on the floor in front of him. To get up off the floor, use your lover's knees for support and stand up sexily — bring your bottom up first, then flick your hair in his face as you raise your upper body.
Smell is the most powerful aphrodisiacs in the world
~and that Fact comes from the
Smell & Taste Treatment and Research Foundation
in Chicago, Illinois. The aroma combination of cinnamon-pumpkin pie and lavender increases blood flow to a man’s cock. So~all you have to do is bake a cinnamon-pumpkin pie and spray a little lavender around the house, and he’ll be yanking down your panties. For more information on the aphrodisiac of smell, read Alan Hirsch book,‘
~~~Rid your essence of relationship boredom by making many of your sexual encounters with him unique, creative and imaginative~~~