“That looks like him.” I said, as we sat in the van, on the stakeout. The cameras gave us a longer range of visual contact with him.
“Are you sure?” Eric asked.
“She’s right.” Becka said. “He has the same build and the same mannerisms, we didn’t see his face, but I think that’s him.”
“We can’t take him in without further proof.”
“I know, but I hope that proof doesn’t come in the form of another body.” I said.
“Me too.” Eric said.
After awhile we watched in silence. We were hoping to get some clue that would allow us to take this man in, something, anything, but it seemed like we were once again sitting on our hands. I wanted to get this man caught and now, not only because of what he had done to me but more for what he had done to all those other little girls, including Jillian who was still so broken, and at times she felt guilty for surviving.
Lord help us find this man, let him not hurt anymore little girls, let him not leave another family grieving for their child, and help those who have survived this man’s madness feel guilty, help Jillian to feel that she is worthy that none of this is her fault.“Heather are you okay?” Becka asked.
“I’m fine, praying that we capture this man soon.”
“We all are Heather, we all are.”
“Have you heard anything about the adoption?” Becka asked. I knew she was trying to keep my mind on more positive things.
“Actually yes, we are waiting for some final paperwork. But it looks like Jillian is going to be ours. She has no one else, and she’s been in and out of Foster Care, so they are going to speed the process up.”
“That’s great Heather, you and Eric deserve this.”
“More importantly Jillian deserves a home where she is going to be loved. Eric was nervous at first, but he has grown to love her like she was his own.”
“Soon she will be both of yours. How does it feel?”
“It’s wonderful. This is a prayer answered, for us and Jillian. She deserves a home, she needs to be loved.”
“I know, I am so happy you guys have agreed to adopt her, the Lord turned a tragic situation into something positive.”
“Yes he did, and Eric and I are ecstatic about it.”
“I know it’s wonderful seeing you two so happy.”
“The Lord has blessed us, I thought after I was shot and the doctors told me I was paralyzed I thought my life was over, but the Lord showed me that was not the case at all, he showed me that I could live a full life, whether I had to sit in a chair, or whether I was able to walk or not.”
“I am glad he showed you that, for awhile we were all so worried about you.”
“I know you were, and I am sorry about that. I know there were times that I wasn’t so nice, but Becka I never blamed you for what happened, and I certainly never wanted it to be you who was shot.”
“I still feel guilty about that.”
“Becka you have to let go of that guilt, holding onto the guilt isn’t healty for you.”
“I know Heather.”
“I don’t blame you Becka, and you shouldn’t blame yourself.”
Lord help her let go of this guilt, let her stop feeling as if this is her fault. Becka isn’t the one who shot me, it was that mad man, and I don’t want her carrying the guilt because she is not the one to blame for this, and holding onto the guilt like this can’t be healthy.“Heather I think we spot him now,” Becka said, shaking my attention.
“Anything suspicious?” I asked.
“He’s carrying a heavy bag.”
Lord let it not be another victim.“We need to get closer.”
“Yes, but we have to do so quietly, we can’t let him spot us.”
“I know Eric, but something has to be done, we can’t just let him get away.”
“We’re going to move in, but we have to do so quietly.”
“I know Eric, to be truthful I am a little nervous.”
“I think you’re more than a little nervous honey, your knuckles are white, you do that when you’re downright scared.”
“I am.” I admitted.
“Honey you don’t have to do this.”
“Yes Eric I think I do. I can’t let my life be lived in fear.”
“I love you Heather, I don’t like to see you hurting.”
“I know you don’t, but honey sometimes I just have to go through things, somethings only God can fix.”
“I know Heather, I know that well. I felt helpless as I saw you laying in that hospital bed, as I see you struggling to do things that used to come as second nature for you.”
“Eric I love you and that’s all that matters, you are a good husband to me, and you are going to be a great father to Jillian that’s what matters, that and of course most importanty that Christ is in the center of our relationshhip.”