by Ted L Glines
Both Patty and I, along with my sister (Wendy) have agreed that the only reason we were born on this planet was due to a mix-up in the heavenly delivery system. That big UPS-Stork in the sky messes up sometimes, too. We keep waiting for the delivery truck to come and retrieve us.
I mean, look at it sensibly. Why would we come to a planet where the “superior” species was insisting on self-destruction?
And why would we need to be on a planet where the biggest selling item was a “male enhancement” product guaranteed to “make that certain part of a male body” larger? Extenze. I mean, we have about 3.2 billion greedy and abusive males on this mud-ball - all with little bitty things. It would only get worse if they got really BIG things. That's why the gecko turned into Godzilla - went from selling car insurance to gobbling cities. News accounts say that this product is selling like hotcakes to terrorists, telemarketers, and pentagon folks. “Dooms Day” is a-coming.
It must be a mistake. The big guy up there would never send us to a world where “liar” is a top job description. For instance, look at those two idiots, campaigning in 2008, who want to be chief honcho of the United States; each one of them saying how much he likes and respects the other one (that's from one side of his mouth) - and then slamming the other one to death with the rest of his speech. We listen to the crowds go crazy, and then they go and vote for somebody else. This is pure proof that humans are without brains. We certainly do not belong here.
And it is dangerous, living on this strange planet. You ever notice all the people who are getting skinny? They are taking daily doses of Mega-T “Now with South African Hoodia” - genuine witch-doctor stuff from the jungle depths. Do they tell you that a normal side-effect is reduction in body size to that of an ant? Noooooooo. Imagine, gentle reader, someone taking Mega-T and Extenze at the same time. That would be a piece of work. It's way past time for me and Patty and Wendy to leave.
We are strangers in a strange land. Hmm ... sounds like a good name for a novel ...