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Michelle R Kidwell Power In The Pen

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and your Mom is as well
Snow White says:
I hope so, I don't know what I will do if anything happens to any of them, my mom included
Miissy says:
I really believe that Nat

Miissy says:
HEY NAT!
Snow White says:
Hey
Miissy says:
I saw your babies today as you know, it is a miracle they are doing as well as they are
Snow White says:
I worry about the littlest one, he can't breath on his own
Miissy says:
Of course the fact that my three are doing as well as they are is a miracle as well
Miissy says:
I will be praying for him
Miissy says:
I would not want you to face what I faced with little Danny
Snow White says:
I haven't even begun to think of names yet
Miissy says:
I think you shopuld name the littlest one Hope
Miissy says:
should
Snow White says:
I know we want one to have Lousia for a middle name
Miissy says:
sorry my arms are not very cooperative tonight, I have been lifting baby weights LOL
Snow White says:
I actually look forward to the day I can do that, but the drs say it will be months
Miissy says:
YEA
Miissy says:
I remember how it hurt when I couldnt even hold my three
Snow White says:
they have to stay in the hospital until the the time they were supposed to be born
Snow White says:
I hated to leave them there, I felt I was handing them over to strangers
Miissy says:
I remember that feeling as well
Miissy says:
Have you seen your Mom she really is worrying me?
Snow White says:
I was in tears before we even left the hospital
Miissy says:
I cried alot of tears during and after the time I was in the hospital and you were there for me so I will be there for you
Snow White says:
my mom is here w. us now
Snow White says:
worrying and fretting over me
Miissy says:
Keep a close eye on  her
Snow White says:
I am, as much as I can
Miissy says:
is someone else with you, she is in no condition o be there alone
Snow White says:
but I'm still so weak from the surgery
Miissy says:
yeah I know
Snow White says:
Andrew is here, and will be for as long as I need him
Miissy says:
that's great
Snow White says:
he's taken a leave from work
Miissy says:
Have you informed him on tihe situation wotih your Mom?
Snow White says:
he knows
Miissy says:
How her condition is worsening
Miissy says:
It is kind of obvious isnt it?
Snow White says:
I found out something I didn't know about him before
Miissy says:
What's that?
Snow White says:
he works for the Witness Protection Program
Miissy says:
Wow
Snow White says:
yeah, it's startling to see how much worse she is since the last time I saw her
Miissy says:
I need to go get Anuragini in bed, she just poped out again LOL,
Snow White says:
which was only a few weeks ago, although it seems longer
Miissy says:
I know it is scary
Miissy says:
I will brb okay Nat
Snow White says:
but we are going to take care of her. I'm hiring someone to help me take care of her more personal stuff, that I don't think she really wants me involved in and we are renovating the master bedroom to be a suite for her.
Snow White says:
ok
Snow White says:
she's trying to resist, but I am not letting her get away. She gave birth to me, which is something I have a deeper understanding of and appreciation for after doing it myself and this is really the least I can do
Miissy says:
yeah I know
Miissy says:
and she really does need the help
Snow White says:
yes she does
Miissy says:
She tried to ge therself out of bed the other day and fell, brised herself up a little
Snow White says:
oh goodness
Miissy says:
sorry Anuragini  is being stubbron about bed tonight
Snow White says:
it's ok
Miissy says:
Yeah it gave everybody a scare
Snow White says:
I'm going to have around the clock help for mom
Miissy says:
Anuragini is doing well
Miissy says:
Yeah that might be a good idea
Miissy says:
Although like her I'd be stubborn about something like that
Miissy says:
But thankfully my condition is not progressive
Snow White says:
I hate to say it, but she's not even able to take care of the smaller children
Miissy says:
I feel really bad for your Mom though
Miissy says:
Yeah I know
Miissy says:
I have the kids with me remember?
Miissy says:
Your Mom actually signed temporaary custody to Gregg and I
Snow White says:
I would really hate to see her lose them
Miissy says:
We're going to fight so that doesnt happen
Miissy says:
If all else fails Gregg and I are more than willing to take on the repsonsibiilty without letting her loose them
Snow White says:
good
Miissy says:
Yeah thankfully you dont look at the wheelchair and ask "how can you take care of them?" Like I am helpless or something
Snow White says:
no, I don't
Miissy says:
And believe me I am grateful for that
Snow White says:
I just know my mom physically isn't able to anymore, if that makes sense
Miissy says:
Yeah I know what you mean
Snow White says:
not that she wasn't able to all the time
Snow White says:
and if I wasn't about to have three infants, I would be able to do it myself
Miissy says:
Its Okay Nat, we have a large extended family who is willing to help
Snow White says:
I just hate to see her struggling like this
Miissy says:
speaking of extending family can you believe Mamma Kendras Triplets are fifteen months now?
Miissy says:
Me too Nat, it breaks my heart
Snow White says:
and I know she isn't going to be w. us much longer
Miissy says:
We dont know that Nat, the disease does not have a death rate like Duchenes
Snow White says:
she's having problems w. her breathing
Miissy says:
I know
Snow White says:
(don't ask me where that came from)
Miissy says:
They are going to put a vent in
Snow White says:
and I think it's worse than she is wanting to admit
Miissy says:
I know how bad it is Nat, I took her to the last appointment
Miissy says:
but no one stamped ehr foot with a time of death
Miissy says:
She is going to have to l;ive with a Tach tube and as unpleasant as it is, and I know from experience you can live through it
Snow White says:
I can't explain it, but I feel her time is shor
Snow White says:
short
Miissy says:
(I'm not ready to kill Louisa off yet, quit trying to kill my character off  )
Miissy says:
I think she has alot more time on earth if we all work to take care of her
Snow White says:
I hope so
Snow White says:
I just found her and I don't want to let her go any time soon
Miissy says:
reemmber not to long ago they wrote me off for dead, and I am still here
Miissy says:
I know Nat

Miissy says:
You know Jeff and I talked and we'd be more than willing to let Louuisa come stay with us, if you and Andrew need time to sort things out
Snow White says:
(um... Gregg)
Miissy says:
Gregg
Miissy says:
Sorry I dont know why I ted Jeff, do you remember him from H/S
Miissy says:
I had the biggest crush on Him, until I found out what a jerk he could be?
Miissy says:
I can't believe I just insulted Gregg like that
Miissy says:
 
Snow White says:
it's ok, I know you are tired
Miissy says:
We are more than willing to have you come and stay with us when Andrew has to leave as well
Snow White says:
but maybe I'M not the one who needs a break
Miissy says:
Actually I am strangely awake for this time of night
Miissy says:
What would make you think I need a break LOL
Miissy says:
I dont know the meaning of the word
Snow White says:
we are okay right now, but I feel terriably for saying, I think the kids need to be dispersed between family, or something. They need better care than anyone here is able to give
Miissy says:
Me?
Miissy says:
I cant provide them the care Nat?
Snow White says:
no, I mean other than Andrew, myself and Lousia
Snow White says:
those in this house
Miissy says:
Oh
Miissy says:
What kids are there?
Miissy says:
I thoughtt you were going to take the kids to Kendra's?
Snow White says:
( I don't remember lousia's kids names)
Snow White says:
some of them are here
Miissy says:
Asia Michelle, Kia, and I cant remember the youngest two
Miissy says:
yeah Kia and Asia
Miissy says:
I am going to come and get them, Gregg is going to hold fort here
Snow White says:
I feel so guilty
Snow White says:
for saying my siblings don't need to stay at my house
Miissy says:
And your Mom said she is coming to church in the morning, I think she really needs it so I am going to get her
Miissy says:
You dont need to feel guilty
Snow White says:
but I do
Miissy says:
you are doing the right thing, Nat, you just had a trauma and you need time for you and Andrew to take this all in
Snow White says:
if I were physically able, I would care for them myself
Miissy says:
I know Nat
Miissy says:
you helped me when I needed help let me help you
Snow White says:
I can't even get out of bed by myself, Andrew has to help me do just about everything
Miissy says:
I'm sorry Nat
Miissy says:
I was that way for a long time myself
Miissy says:
but the SB compliicated things in some ways
Snow White says:
it's supposed to get better, but it's so hard right now
Miissy says:
I know it is and I am going to be praying for you
Miissy says:
in fact tomorrow Mamma Kendra wants to take the kids so I am going to come over after church
Miissy says:
I think they are going over to Louisiana's to go swimming or something
Snow White says:
Andrew is trying, but he can't get all the kids in bed.
Snow White says:
Lousia was exhausted so she is already in bed, and  can hear her crying
Snow White says:
I can't get out of bed and go help him OR go to her
Miissy says:
I'm onmy way now
Miissy says:
And dont feel bad Nat, I could never just 'Get out of bed."
Miissy says:
Even now, but I manage through the grace of God I manage and prove others that my assests to my children outweigh my limations
Snow White says:
I don't just feel bad, I feel terriable
Miissy says:
Its oKay Nat
Snow White says:
I hate being this helpless
Miissy says:
Sometimes when I am in bed, and I hear Anuiragini cry out and realize I can not go to her right away, my heart breaks too, but by the Grace of God I make it through
Snow White says:
I'm just going to have to fight through the pain and weakness and force myself to do things
Miissy says:
Dont do things that you are going to regret Nat
Miissy says:
its not worth it if it jep[ardizes you
Miissy says:
Did I tell you of what m real Mom used to do and how helpless I felt then?
Snow White says:
no
Miissy says:
She used to take my dchair away and make me get on my hands and knees for her, so she could laugh at my attempts to get around
Miissy says:
it was humilaiting, I dont like to think about it
Snow White says:
that's horrible
Miissy says:
But then Mamma Kendra got me, and I learned what true love was, and what it meant to be indepedent and I was not judged because of the chair, the cruthces or the braces
Snow White says:
yeah
Snow White says:
I just hate this so much
Snow White says:
everyone is hurting so much
Miissy says:
its okay Nat we are going to get through this
Miissy says:
I didnt tell you that story to depress you, but to show you just how resillent the human spirit is
Snow White says:
I know you weren't trying to depress me more
Snow White says:
right now, I'm not even strong enough to go see my babies
Snow White says:
you saw what it took to get me in the house, Andrew and "Jeff"   had to carry me
Miissy says:
LOL
Snow White says:
I guess it's a good thing I'm not heavy
Miissy says:
IO am not going to live that one down am I
Miissy says:
Believe me I have had to been carried into plenty of houses, but I don't mind when Gregg carries me 
Snow White says:
yeah, I can imagine
Snow White says:
it's just humiliating for me
Miissy says:
(OKay I made a mistake Aerial is the oldest
Miissy says:
Kia is the one with M.D)
Snow White says:
I use to being so independant
Miissy says:
I know I am pretty indepent myself
Snow White says:
and then to have my mother and children both fighting for their lives is killing me
Snow White says:
they keep telling me time is all I need, but I feel like I don't have any
Miissy says:
Nat you are going to get through this
Snow White says:
I know I will, I'm just not sure about anyone else
Snow White says:
my babies are fighting for their lives and my mother is fading away
Miissy says:
Nat I believe your Mom is going to be with us for a long time to come
Miissy says:
and right now I am on my way, you need me
Miissy says:
and I cant sleep anyway
Snow White says:
I could use some help, or rather Andrew could
Snow White says:
he hasn't dealt w. Kids before as you know
Miissy says:
yes and thats why I am on my way
Miissy says:
I shoudlnt have taken a nap earl;ier today, but maybe its a good thing I did LOL, because Ia m going to come over
Miissy says:
We'll have a sleep over LOL
Snow White says:
ok, I will see you in a few, I'm glad we only live around the corner
Snow White says:
that sounds good
Miissy says:
And I will come back after church tomorrow
Snow White says:
I may have to get Andrew to move me in the room w. mom
Miissy says:
I am now teachign Sunday School so I cant afford to miss
Snow White says:
well, as you might guess, I won't be going
Miissy says:
I think I neglected to tell you last week they hired me on as a Sunday School Teacher, Junior High and Highschool Age
Snow White says:
sitting up by myself is a challange
Miissy says:
Yeah I klind of figured, I wouldnt have suggested it anyway
Snow White says:
maybe when I am stronger
Miissy says:
It can be for me at times too, sitting up, do you know how much upper body strength I use, because my lower body is essentially useless
Snow White says:
but I have a feeling when I am strong enough I will be spending all day at the hospital, 7 days a week
Miissy says:
I have a feeling your babies are all going to make it
Miissy says:
and your Mom is as well
Snow White says:
I hope so, I don't know what I will do if anything happens to any of them, my mom included
Miissy says:
I really believe that Nat
Snow White says:
I'm trying not to think too far in the future
Snow White says:
the drs keep talking about blindness, deafness and developmental delays
Miissy says:
they always say things like that with preemies
Snow White says:
I know
Snow White says:
but I am trying not to think about those things at this point
Snow White says:
I'll deal w. what comes later
Miissy says:
thats the best thing you can do
Miissy says:
You know I worry about my kids getting SB, but I do not dwell on it
Snow White says:
but there are early tests for that
Snow White says:
in my case, all we can do is wait and see
Snow White says:
but it's late and if you are going to come, you should probably do so now.
Miissy says:
Yeah I am heading out now
Miissy says:
See you in a few
Snow White says:
tty then
Snow White says:
Snow White Disconnects
 


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Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 6/22/2008
Excellent conversation, Michelle and Sarah; very well written! BRAVA! BRAVA!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :D

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