It was a sunny day.
I got up very late. All the people in the house left home for work.
Phone was ringing. I am not in the mood to attend the phone call. Just looked at the phone and laugh slightly.
I stood up from the bed and looked through the window.
There are many people walking here and there to do their duties. There was a man who lost his legs in the Second World War, selling some old books with more confidence in the street.
I went to the bathroom with so many thoughts. That man’s image repeatedly came to my mind. He disturbs me for some reason. His confident in life after he lost his leg, attracted me a lot. Bathroom is a place where anybody can sing or think freely. Most of the time I have used this place as a crying zone.
You don't beleive that every thinks in my life is unexpected events. My uk journey was not my decision. I was forced to travel to uk. My uncle who always ruled me in the house has made this decision and send me to uk.
My uncle influenced my life a lot. His decision what ever it is, is accepted by every one in the family without any questions.
I never had a chance to project my opinion.
One day he came to my house and gave an instruction about my London journey.
I didn't say any single word against him. Personally I don’t like this arrangement. I haven't got any rights to argue against him.
I told mum about this. Mum always his side. She trusts him a lot.
Mum asked me to be quite and follow what he says.
I always started to cry about this unreasonable approach regarding my matters. Crying and then becoming quite is the style of life, of any asian women. Some people say that this is a fate of any ladies in this world.
I don't beleive this type of arguments which are totally wrong.
Now I am in UK with another uncle of mine.
Uncle is my mum’s third brother. He seems to be good. I thought I could have a good life but I was totally disappointed.
I never had a freedom in this house. I love to go to work like others but my uncle refused straight away. He shouted very badly on me..
“You came here to study, not to work. We are here to look after you.”
The uncle said to me like this. The wordings are wonderful. If anybody here these that they think my uncle is a good person but he is not.
I have to take their small kid to nursery in the morning. I have to cook for them. I have to clean their house every day.
Day by Day, I have started to feel like servant to them. The whole day, from six in the early morning until ten at night, I have to work for them.
I never had a friend or relative to share my feelings. I always swallow my feelings within me.
Once I wrote a letter to my mum about my situation. Mums never ever understand my side. She always thinks her brothers are doing everything for her good.
This is the time I can say something about my physical appearance. This will not going to change my life but I can have a chance to make you all have bit happy.
I am so beautiful, with my slim figure dressed in a loose flowing cotton dress, my crazy hair and bright blue eyes not far off the colour of the sea itself. In my school days some boys are after me. For some reason I was so strict in this matter. Therefore I couldn’t get a chance to have a boy friend. Now I am regretting for that.
I like to work and earn more and more money. I am the girl who wants to go out and spending money, meeting people.
I never had a chance to talk with anyone in this country other than my uncle’s family since I came to this country. Sometimes in the morning, I spoke to the milkman who came to deliver the milk door to door.
I went near to the window. The heat of the sun is pushing at me through the window.
I love this house. The walls are white, but there's something about the height and placing of the windows that makes them seem amber, as though the hall were plugged straight into some source of warm, entirely natural light. I have to say one of the incidents happen to me one week before.
One day I went to the nursery to pick up my uncle’s daughter. I went bit late there. She complained to my uncle. My uncle started to shout on me very badly. This hurts me a lot. I ran into the bathroom and started to cry loudly. Bathroom is my normal cry zone.
I never told you about my father. He is a perfect gentleman. If he is alive my life is totally different. My father was a freedom fighter. He died in one big battle against the Srilankan army. I ask the permission from my mum to join with the freedom fighters. She refused. That is why they all get together and send me to London quickly.
London is lovely country. I love this country. The people are always busy and kind.
I am really confused about my life. The ways I have brought up by parents never allow me to take any different steps.
However, some or other I have to leave this prison. Yes this house is worst than the prison. The people live in this house is like police dogs.
I am sorry to compare a human to a dog. I couldn’t find any other example for this.
Now I am going to say a good news to you all.
Sometimes you meet some good people unexpectedly. This type of meetings makes your life easy. This happens to me also.
I also met one person when I was waiting to pick up my nephew from the nursery.
He is a middle-aged person. I do not know anything about that person but I like his personality and appearance for some reason. Some thing from him induced me to tell my worries to him. We two started to talk about our countries. Some time we discuss about our life. He has divorced his wife two years ago. He is living close to our house with his only daughter.
He is from Nigeria. His parents are living in Nigeria. He also came to this country because of the political problems he faced there.
My uncle never ever treat me as a human. One day he asks me to wash his wife clothes also. That day I refused to do that. He got very angry and beat me badly.
This incident affected me a lot. Now the time has come to take a firm decision about my life.
You don’t believe that I have made a very important decision to my future life.
I have decided to leave the house on my own. I do not know where to go. I have told my decision to my friend whom I met in the nursery.
He asks me to come to his house for some days.
I have to make a right decision now.
If I made the decision to go with him, I cannot come back
Our society is not going to accept my decision as positive.
Now I don’t care about this society.
My mind is steady now.
Finally, I have made the decision.