Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
I'm trying to be strong, but sometimes I feel like I am going to snap, sometimes the grief just assaults me

Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
Hey Natalie
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
Hi
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
Your Mom made it safely
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
good
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
shes looking good, tired but good
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
I'm sure
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
of course flights are enough to make anyone tired
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
it doesn't take much to wear her out
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
yeah I noticed
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
but the change of scene will probably do her some good
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
I'm sure
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
I heard the babies have improved
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
I am so happy for you
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
yeah, they are up to 4lbs now
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
thats great
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
I am so happy for you
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
one of them still needs oxygen, and all of them are on a feeding tube
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
I hope to have children some day but since the accident I have my questions
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
I'm sure you will
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
I am sure soon they will all be off of everything, they seem to be fighters
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
yes, they are
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
and I don't know where they get it, certianly not from me
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
that's good
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
your stronger than you realize
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
you fought your way back from Cancer, that is no small thing
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
I fell apart after the babies were born
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
 
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
I fell apart after the accident
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
And fell apart last night 
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
Nat?
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
Hello?
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6UJZtCz1-c
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
Hello Nat?
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
Are you there?
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
I feel like Im talking to myself over here
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
sorry Kai, the hospital called
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
its okay
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
is everything okay on your end?
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
I came home to rest a little while and Katie was having problems breathing
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
they had to put her on a vent
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
I'm sorry Nat, and I was complaining about the accident
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
it's ok
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
at least they are alive
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
yes Im glad to be alive too
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
but this means her coming home is put on hold again
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
sorry to hear that
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
Katie is the littlest one
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
for a while we weren't sure she was even going to make it
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
I am glad shes improved since then
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
me too
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
in the beginning, they told us not to get attached b.c they didn't think she would live past a few days
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
she truly is a miracle isnt she
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
yes they all are
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
praise the Lord for that
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
none of them even weighed a pound when they were born
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
WOW
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
yeah
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
I cant even imagine a baby being tthat tiny
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
they were born at 22 weeks
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
WOW
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
yes
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
it was really touch and go for a long time
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
I can only imagine
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
and I was so scared
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
I was scared after the accident, but total different fears
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
I felt like such a failure b.c I wasn't able to carry them longer
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
I felt like my whole identity everything changed after the accident
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
I'm sure
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
But I am doing better now, although I have my moments
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
me too
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
I'm handling the crisis better too
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
not always falling apart
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
Yeah I am afraid I fell apart last night, but Rebekka Rachel just acted like it was the norm and assured me everything was going to be okay
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
she's ver composed for someone of her age
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
yeah I noticed
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
Susie is too
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
yes she is
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
I wish I were as composed at they were
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
well, neither of them has always been that way
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
tomorrow it will be a week since I have been released from the Rehab Hospital, so I guess some of these things are going to take time
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
yes, they do
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
I used to run track and field have ribbons and everything so that makes it harder I think
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
I used to run before I got pregnant w. the girls
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
and I haven't been able to since
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
I'll never run again that was the hardest realities to face, I will never walk again for that matter 
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
I had alot of problems after my c-section
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
I bet
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
I got an infection and it really did a number on me
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
I'm still weak, but I am getting better
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
thats good
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
I lost all control below my waist
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
I'm surprised you don't have a catheter to be honest
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
I am learning to or trying to learn to control my bladder and taking heed to the warning signs
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
last night that didnt work out so well though 
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
but I am doing better today
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
you might need to take some precautions when you sleep
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
yeah I've come to that humilating realization
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
when I had my c-section, I came home w. a catheter
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
my bladder and everything was so wrecked from the surgery
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
I just dont want to have to depend on it for the rest of my life
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
I want to regain as much control of my life and my body as I can
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
but if it makes you life better, you might be better off
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
I had one in the hospital but I developed a severe infection from it, they said I was better off without it
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
I can somewhat relate, I still have so many bladder problems from my surgery and probably always will
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
I am going to get through this though and I am not going to sit around feeling sorry for myself
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
how's Audrey? I know she misses the kids
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
Like I said I am learning to pay attention  to the warning signs, and I have taken to wearing protection just in case
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
shes doing really good
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
good
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
we all went swimming today, I havent been in Sandies pool since before the accident
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
she really loves her kids
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
yes I can tell
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
I don't know how she does it to be honest
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
me either
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
or your Mom she has her friends as well, Ive taken to calling her Mom myself, my Mom and Dad just dont care
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
the entire time I was in the hospital they didnt come to see me
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
I'm overwhelmed by the idea of having three babies by myself
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
you'll be a great Mother
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
my adoptive parents didn't treat me very well, Lousia is my biological mom
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
I'm glad Louisas back in your life
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
me too
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
I thought she was going to come and live w. me after the babies came home but she had other plans
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
I thought you built a suit for her, she has been talking about moving in with you
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
admitted to me earlier that she really isnt going to be able to live on her own for much longer
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
it ws in the process of being built when she left
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
she only came out for a week or two
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
it's just about finished now
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
we even added rooms for the girls
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
because I was so overwhelmed by this, I am sorry if I took her away from you whem you needed her
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
no, not at all
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
this has just been so hard for me
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
we were waiting until the renovations were finished
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
I'm trying to be strong, but sometimes I feel  like I am going to snap, sometimes the grief just assaults me
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
I know it has to be hard
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
I felt humilated as Audrey had to help me into the water, and I held onto the edge, like I was afraid I was going to sink, but the truth of the matter was it felt good to be out of my chair, for something other than bed
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
I'm sure
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
I know being in the water felt great
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
and as hot as its been here in Cali the water felt good
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
I'm sure
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
I felt like a kid holding on the edge the way I did, but at least I was in the water
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
yeah
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
Joshua came over too, which made me more self conscious but hes great
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
he proposed to me when I was in the hosptial I want to say yes, but I dont want him to have to be my nurse maid
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
I dont know I stlll have so many things to figure out
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
brb
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
ok
Kailyn You Take Life As It Comes says:
me 2 I dont need another incident like last night
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
Kai, I have to go. They need me at the hospital
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) says:
Snow White (mOtHerOfThree) Disconnects