There is something in the shadows.I don’t like walking out of the house at night, because of the figure in the shadows, nobody would believe me, not even my best friend, and that in itself was a scary feeling. I did not like the way this fear was eating me up. My best friend did not believe me, she thought I was cracking up, thought the stories I created were affecting my mind, but this was real.
‘Saundra have you thought of seeing a therapist?” Sienna asked, over the phone one day. I found myself angry at the way she was approaching this.
“I know you don’t believe me, but this isn’t in my head.”
“You’re starting to sound like a Paranoid Schizophrenic.”
“Sienna this isn’t fair at all, you are just passing judgment on me.” I said, trying hard not to give into the anger that made me want to slam down the phone.
“It doesn’t matter what I say, you aren’t going to believe me.” I said. “I am just going to let you go, I have work to do anyway.”
“That’s all it’s about for you anyway, isn’t it? Work?”
“This is my career Sienna, no matter what you think of it, you should at least respect that.”
“I never said I didn’t respect your career I said, you are working yourself so hard, you are seeing things in the shadow that aren’t there.”
“Someone’s stalking me Sienna, that’s real.”
“I don’t think it is.”
Why isn’t my best fiend believing me Lord? This isn’t in my head, I know that in my bones.I was relieved when we got off the phone. I was growing tired of arguing with Sienna, she was acting like I was nuts. It wasn’t a matter of insanity, it was a matter of safety. If I could not get my best friend to believe me, who would?
Lord what I am going to do if I can’t even get my best friend to believe me? I do not believe that I am crazy, this is real Lord.I tired to push my fears out of my mind, and instead pay attention on the book I was working on. I needed to stop thinking about what lay in the shadows though and started focusing what lay on the screen in front of me.
There is something romantic about a full moon, something that makes me want to think about love, that makes me want to think about laying in Tim’s arms. I loved this man more than I had loved anyone ever, he was the one meant for me, the one the Lord had brought me. We had met at a Bible Study shortly after I gave my heart to Christ, and for months he was simply my spiritual guide, but now he was becoming more than that, something so much more.I felt like I was living my life vicarously through the pages, how I wanted to find my Mr Right. I wanted to find a Christian like Tim was, but Tim was probably my perfect man because I had created him. I wanted a relationship, but I did not want to have someone so obsessed that they followed me in the shadows.
I found myself for a brief time not focusing on the figure in the shadows and focusing on the story at hand. I had a deadline to meet on the next book, and I was determined to make the deadline, perhaps even get it done before the deadline. I knew that would make my editor and my agent happy. I could not let this figure in the shadows stop me from writing this book.
I wanted to feel Tim in my arms, I dreamt of the night he would finally propose, the romance that would feel the air, and I found myself savoring the thoughts, the way I would savor a nice diner.I was glad to be able to write the story the Lord’s gave me. It was good to be able to create, to put words on the paper. Creating was God’s gift, and because I was an author I needed to use that gift to glorify the Lord, to give him the glory he deserved. I was more than grateful for the gift, and I needed to show the Lord that I was grateful for the gift he had given me, I needed to write for his glory, but it was hard to write, sometimes, when my mind focused on the man in the shadows.
The shadowed figure was haunting me with his eyes. They were frightening and left me with this feeling in the pit of my stomach. I wanted this man to stop haunting me. I wanted this person to stop stalking me, I wanted to get on with my life, to write my stories and publish the books the Lord called me to right, without feeling the fear of someone waiting in the shadows wanting to do who knew what to me.
Maybe I am being irrational. I found myself thinking, maybe this was in my imagination.
The thought was only momentary though, soon I heard a loud crash. And I knew someone was out there watching, waiting.
I found myself stepping outside despite the fear welling up inside me. It was like my feet were carrying me to where I didn’t want to go.
“Whose out there?” I asked.
“You may not remember me.” The voice said raspy.
“I can’t even see you, why are you stalking me.”
“Because I can.” His voice made the statement menacing. “I would watch your back, because I may just decide to hurt you.”
Lord he’s scaring me, this man is out to get me.“If you’re going to hurt me, why don’t you just hurt me?”
“Because I like stalking my prey.”
“I am not some kind of animals.”
“We’re all animals.”
“No we’re all made in the image of God.”
“God, you really believe he is real?” The voice in the shadows said laughing.
“Yes of course, I believe he is real.”
“I think you’re stories and your success is getting to your head.”
“How dare you make assumptions, you don’t know me?”
“I know you more than you think, I’ve been watching you remember.”
I found myself relieved when the voice went quiet, and I saw the shadowed figure dissapear. It was a dark night, and not even the moonlight could give me a hint as to what he looked like.
I wanted to call Sienna and tell her, but she wouldn’t believe me anyway. I had to deal with this monster with the Lord’s help and with the Lord’s help only. Maybe it was time I started putting more faith in the Lord.