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Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado

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Blob-bo. (Part One) --TearJerker--
By Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado
Sunday, April 05, 2009

Rated "PG" by the Author.

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Being overweight doesn't necessarily mean you're happy all of the time, as this miserable teen has found out.

NOTE: This is fiction; I am NOT feeling suicidal!! Sad, yes, but NOT suicidal; that's stupid!!!!!

 

It's bad enough I look like a blimp with hair:  my name doesn't help matters any.

Name's Lolita.  "Lolly" for short.  I'm seventeen years old and live with my family in Tacoma, Washington, where I am in my 11th year at Mountain Top Senior High School.  I hate school with a purple passion.

A lot of it has to do with the kids.  They give me no end of grief.  Every day it seems some butthead makes off with some disparaging remarks about my weight.  In fact, if somebody doesn't say anything about it, I'd probably think that they were sick!!  LOL

I am only 5' 3 1/2" tall, with limp, shoulder-length hair that's a nondescript color, washed-out blue-grey eyes, and a body that makes people turn away (or gag, whichever comes first).  Let's face it, folks:  I'm F A T!!

Hell, I'm not just fat:  I'm about as big as a HOUSE!  I weigh easily over 460 pounds; to walk more than a few feet at a time is an arduous task for me:  it isn't long before I'm choking or gasping for air.

My style of dress would be better suited for a tent; it is very difficult to find clothes that fit, let alone, look good!

I don't know what bonehead decided to design clothes for fat people, but he (or she) ought to be shot or hung for it!!

Most of the clothes for fat people are hideous, with big, oversized flowers or designs or vomit-inducing hues; in addition, they're all way too overpriced:  there's no way on earth that an average person can afford to buy them (fat, or otherwise)!!

Because I'm so fat, people automatically assume that:  a.)  I'm lazy, with no set ambition; b.) all I think about is food and/or eating; c.)  I'm happy all of the time; d.)  I stink;  or e.)  I have no feelings whatsoever. 

Nothing could be further from the truth.

The fact of the matter is I do have feelings, very strong, powerful ones.  I bathe every day (wash my hair, too!), I have been on diets ever since I can remember, I work with special-needs children after school at the church I attend, and, in addition, half the time I'm so miserable it's all I can do to keep from crying (or killing myself)!

My family tries to be supportive; however, they really don't know what I have to go through at school.  I just put on my brightest faky smile and reassure them that everything is "a-okay" with me (horrible liar that I am!). 

My pastor is another one who is supportive; however, I feel nothing but condemnation whenever I'm around him (or any of my fellow church friends or acquaintances); I know they know that I'm a pathalogical liar.  I'm a Christian (or so I claim to be); however, I'm not acting very Christlike by hiding beneath a web of lies!

If they knew how miserable, how unhappy I really am, they'd be thoroughly shocked!!

I haven't told anyone this until now, but I wear long sleeves all the time, mainly to hide the slash marks/scars on my wrists.  Yeah, I've tried to cut myself, anything to get rid of the pain I experience in my everyday life!  Ya wanna make something of it??

I'm desperate for peace, to lose this extra weight!  My weight has made me a virtual prisoner in life; how I wish I could be skinny or look like one of those waifish beauties I see in magazine ads, newspapers, or on television!!

I hate myself, I hate all of this ugly fat on me, and I wish I were dead!!  Anything's gotta be better than what I'm going through right now in my life!!

~To be continued.~

 

 

 


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Reviewed by J'nia Fowler 4/6/2009
This is a very sad story and unfortunately very close to reality for many young women. Well written and very believable. Blessings, J'nia
Reviewed by Linda Settles 4/6/2009
Very powerful write Karen. Weight is one of the greatest battle for women, and even young girls. Society has put such a pressure on our young girls to be pencil thin with gorgeous hair and thats not how some bodies were designed, and girls, and some women end up like poor Lolly, heartbroken, angry, hurt, cutting, and hiding behind a mask. Again, very powerful write Karen, keep up the great work.

Love,
Linda
Reviewed by Georg Mateos 4/6/2009
After many years of prejudice, the good doctors found that obesity is caused by a malfunctioning gene, that it could be hereditary or a deficient metabolic system. Many overweight people can't understand being in a long diet of vegetables and fruit keeps them overweight, and the cause is simple, the good doctors forgot that strontium is the primary fat saving element, and that eating vegetables and fruits hight on strontium will cause more obesity.

Georg

Reviewed by Michelle Kidwell Power In The Pen 4/5/2009
A powerful write here, that to many children and adults today can relate to, I hope Lolly gets the help she needs soon, for her emotional issues, thank you for sharing
In Christs Love
Michelle~
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 4/5/2009
Sigh....a burden many of us struggle with....being a chubby myself I am the "fat" one of my family...and know how the teasing can hurt...and it kills you spirit!!

Love Tinka
Reviewed by Carole Mathys 4/5/2009
Sadly this is the plight of many young people in our country now...lets hope she receives the support and understanding of others as she continues her journey...well written, Karen
peace and love, Carole~
Reviewed by Cynthia Buhain-Baello 4/5/2009

Dear Karen this is so sad. Lolly must have all the support she needs and be accepted for what for what she is now, nothing is hopeless.
Well written Karen.

Cynthia
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner 4/5/2009
Karen,

Heartbreaking, indeed, the pressures of society, of perfectionism, added to the many already incurred as a teenager - powerfully penned sadness. Well done.

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.
Reviewed by Mr. Ed 4/5/2009
The fact of the matter is I do have feelings, very strong, powerful ones.

And you express them, quite well.
Reviewed by Cindy Tuttle 4/5/2009
This is sad Karen. I have worked with adults that did that. The good thing is with the right help things can get better. Especailly at her young age. Great write. I am glad you are bringing this up.

With Love,
Cindy
Reviewed by Paul Berube 4/5/2009
A sad write indeed Karen but well told in your usual excellent and descriptive manner. God bless.
Reviewed by Dawn Anderson 4/5/2009
Oh, Karen, this is so heartbreaking and sad. The teen years can be difficult enough without added stress. You always write from your heart, which is one of the reasons you convey your messages so well. I'm looking forward to your next installment.


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