First Chapther, The Runaway, This is a whole chapter.

     The run away

My face stinging from the continuous flow of salty tears. I had walked out of my home, away from all I loved and cherished, from Thomas. The tears had been a onset that had not dissolved. Red and swollen, the burnt flesh was just as angry as the inside was.

I did not need anyone asking me if I was alright. I knew I wasn’t. Nor was I going to be. All I could think about was death. It filled my mind when I was awake and when I was suppose to be sleep.

A twisted nightmare. Sick and twisted nightmare. Abnormal as it was abstract. I knew that if I told any of the hundreds of people that asked about me, they would really believe I was insane.

I was half a world away and I was angry with anyone and everyone. No one could do any right. I wanted to be left alone. For the most part, it was granted.

“Keep going, it has to be done there. Keep going, just a little more.” I encouraged myself. I was not sure as to why I was headed where I felt I should do this. The confusion of my own actions, leaving me disorganizing and deform. What was drawing me to this mass of land that I had never set my foot on before?

 My body weak with out food or water. It had been amount of uncertain time that I had went          without any intake. I had no idea where I was, or where I was going, being lead by some invisible force pulling me in my last outing. My desire for an end of my strange life that I closed all reasoning out of my head. Shutting down my flight or fight emotions, leaving only my thoughts of death.

I stumbled through the trees. Blinded by my decision of my final on act on Earth, I was unaware of what was lingering behind me. My body was already shutting down. The pain of my soul separating from my body left me breathless, I could not stop, I did not want to be found laying against some tree in the middle of a forest, left as some mark that life was too hard for me, taking the easy way out was not what I wanted for me. The distortion of body was leaving me empty, which was comforting in my lonely and dark moment.

My eyes cloudy, as my mind was. I wondered through the forest. Taking a marked path, my feet carried me through the forest. Somehow, evidently my mind cleared and I realized that I was not alone, the worst part, is that what was following me, was not there in my aid of survival. I never looked back, I did not need too. I knew what was following me. One way or the other, I was going to die. Double standards. They never agreed with me. I had been taught to live right, double standards where not an options.  I learned the hard way, I was a double standard. What was good for many was not good for me. Even if it my choice. It has always been my choice, my dream, and desire.

Falling to my knees my palms did not yield blood. Ironic, as that was, that was my wish. I never wanted to bleed again. Dying of starvation to help break my will in my final act as a human. Death. My mind played with me, sharp memories came to me, vision of a different times and places.  I saw myself, in a different life; it seemed that it was waiting for this one to end so that I could return to that life. Blinking away the disturbing thoughts I pushed onwards, knowing something has to end, before the next begins.

Even in this situation I had a plan. I knew if I was too strong I would not go through with it. I would sit and wait for them to come and get me. Let them hug and kiss me and tell me everything was alright. To be good to me, until I ask the question again. Double standard.

I was not afraid to kill myself or even not afraid to die. Feeling some resistance within myself. A small voice trying to reason with my actions the strange part was that it was encouraging me to kill myself instead of living for another day.

“I can see the light, just a little more.” I said to myself. I had became my best friend. Then the trees gave away. It was the type of opening if your eyes were closed and you were told to open them. The ocean rage was clear. I had never seen the sea so violent and terrifying. Was this another sign for me to turn around and call home? Even in my disoriented state, I rethought what I was doing. As the water bashed in the solid rock at a speed and force of a hurricane. The ground groaned under my weak legs as the battering wall of water kept its assault strong.

“Will I be thrown against the earth, my body pounding against the rock, crushing me ending my life as violent as my life has been?” I asked the sea. The spray from the backlash of the force of the water meeting stone. The snarl that I received answered my question.

Staggering to the cliffs edge. Looking out at the black sea. The spray from the battering sea, the salt burnt my face. My skin soaked as much of it as it could. The cold water cooled my fevered flesh. A chill racked my body as the sea pulled away from the land to expose the slate sheer dropped in front of me. Fear of realizing if the tide moved out, I would land at the bottom of the mountain. The sucking sound as it pulled itself back, letting me have full view on my imaginative mind of what I would look like if I chose to leap at that moment. I lost my mind. Memories of my father holding me telling me what the world offered me as well as what I offered it.

“This is the best… You need to live…. See the world…You have all the time…  TO WHAT? LIVE? YOU CALL THIS LIVING! A PERSONAL HELL THIS IS WHAT THIS IS! You promised.” I screamed out. My body shaking, my head was spinning. I fell down. The tide smashed into the rocks spraying me again. I could almost hear Thomas calling me. Whimpering as my body begged forgiveness without the conviction I had damned it too. 

Laying on the ground, huddling in a fetal position I thought about my options. I knew that my family had to take me serious, that I was a threat as well sound mind in my desire of wanting to be equal to them.  I knew that father; even Thomas would find a way to pull me back away from this nightmare, giving me yet again another false hope, a security on feather ground.

“No one believes that I know what I want. For the good of everything. Hump! I wonder if they will get this clear and loud. Will they finally believe me that I know what I want?” My plea was lost in the crashing waves as they broke against the slate stone.

I pushed myself up again. It took a few tries but I stood. I hung on to the rocks protruding out from the ground.

“Opps, not that way. Have to do this right. Always taught, if you are going to do it, then do it right.” I pulled my phone out of my pocket, putting it back together. Putting the little Gps back in its place. It started blinking again. “Now, you can find me.” I laughed ruefully.  I turned it on. It instantly started ringing.

Thomas. I smiled but it faded to sadness . I had hoped it would be him. I opened the phone.

“Where …are… you? I’m coming.” His voice was tight, as if he was having a hard time speaking. His voice was breaking. He was in pain. Frowning at his discomfort, I wanted to be with him, but I was the one causing the pain.

“Don’t worry, you will find me, just not in the way you think. This time I am not going to be sitting waiting for you. I really did love you. I hope you know that.”

“WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?” He was angry. He always did have a short fuse. I was the target most of the time. I knew that I brought on a lot of his anger, but still a lot of it was misplaced. It could be that he thought I was weaker; I was strong in my moment, where he was still on the fence.    

“Could you sing to me?  No I guess singing would be hard on you.”

“AMAY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”

“Getting my wish.”

“WHAT!” the shock mixed with anger. I could feel his voice shake. His temper rattling in his voice. The tone deep and violent unsettling and nerve ending chill.

“I bet its about three hundred feet down. I wonder if it will hurt or if I will feel anything. If I do how long? I guess it depends.”

“STOP! PLEASE STOP!  DON’T YOU DARE KILL YOURSELF!” The voice roared in the phone. I could hear the emotion behind him, I am sure that I could hear people voicing their concern. 

“As if you were going to do it? I’ll do anything for you. You are my life. Right Thomas. If I don’t physically do it, then my body will do it. I have not ate or drank anything since I left. Of course, what ever has been following me will. I just took you out, No decision, no foul, right.  Please tell my parents I love them. It’s time. It hurts.”

“NO! NOOOO! Where are you, Amay? Let me get to you. We can talk about this. We can find a way around this. I am sure your dad sees how serious you are. He will willing to change his views. Just stay there, I will come for you. We will find a way. Please do not do this. I can not go on without you.” I heard the anguish in his voice, the pain, sorrow. It was only echoing what mine had been sounding like. Though his words were heard, he could have said them before this moment. He had his chance, just like my father.

“I love you. I really do not know where I am. I have never been here. I have no idea why I am here.” I stumbled forward. I held the phone to my chest. “Goodbye” I dropped the phone. It laid next to the rock that I was standing on. I could hear him screaming at me. I closed my eyes, leaning forward, I fell. The wind rushing up as it tried to push me back to solid ground. My mind raced through memories I remembered and the ones I did not.  My body panic, trying to prepare for the landing. Twisting and turning, trying to find the safest way to survive this fall this the smallest amount of pain. I saw my life flash before me. I saw my self as a tiny baby, black hair that curled around my face and body. Tears coming down my face as I held out my hands reaching for someone. I was afraid of what was happening I could not understand what was happening. I did not feel safe and wanted whoever I was reaching for. Flashes of light, rainbow colors, the hues were intense. I felt comfortable, a false sense of ease, that seemed to take over the fear inside me. The change that started in me, filtered through out my body shaping my form. I watched myself physically change into something different. Now my hair was long, and blond. My physic slender and sleek lines, as my bones took shape and length as I was older than what I really was.  I saw differently as I saw now. I saw snapping teeth at me, a dagger at my throat. Something biting me. Thomas holding me. My father, mother, Hallie, Matt, and Zack. I saw myself dead at the hands of Matt.

I could still hear Thomas screaming at me. I saw him. The rage in him. The monster him coming alive, his worst nightmare happening as I took my life.

 The wind whipped at me. Angry at me for invading its space. The sea rose up out of the ground engulfing me, pulling me along with it. His body tense as he tried to sense where I was. It was too late. Even in my death, I was worried about him. I know that I will love him in death. I could hear his roar in his anguish as he realized what was done. My breath taken from me as the sea rolled me in circles, pulling me from every side. My lungs filling with the salt water, my last image was Thomas falling to his knees, shoulders slumped, hands covering his face as he dealt with our final separation.

   The light hurt my head. My body hurt, feeling as if I had been ripped apart. My mind cloudy, confused, and closed. I could not remember what happened. Darkness had been my only friend for amount of uncertain time. The pain in my head turned my stomach in circles but, it comforted me. I was unsure of what happened, or where I was. I tried to get pass the pain, to concentrate where I was. I knew that I was not dead, I did not feel dead, but how does death feel? I felt to small in the body that I was in. Thinking of a child wearing their parents clothes. Cute, but I did not feel cute at this time. I felt stiff and uncomfortable, almost felt as if I was hiding in these body, afraid of someone finding the truth that I was in imposture. A raw feeling of exposure seemed to linger over me, filling me with the need to protect myself from the truth.  

 Frowning at the shrill of a cell phone. “Yeah I have her... No she is alive, not much. I am not sure what has been done…The sea pulled her out miles away… She is in bad shape… I don’t know if she will make it. There does not see to be any visual damage, however she is none responsive. From what I have been told she had starved herself. She was in the woods for two weeks alone. No one saw her with any food or water I am sure if she said that she went without she meant it. When you see her, you can see the damage that she has done by going without food and water. We moved as fast as we could, I do not need to stress the speed of us, never less she was faster. If anyone had tried to make contact with her, she would have done something different, or moved faster. She was on a mission and there was nothing to stop her. I do want to say that we could not get close to her. Like before, nothing could get close enough until she let us. She was not aware of what she was doing.  Her path is very noticeable, it is dead, and there is nothing that lives anymore within a two foot radius. The trees are dead, there is nothing; her path is her path of death. Everything died with her. She is now bed ridden; there is no response, very much comatose.”

“Who is she? Why is she so important that we had to bend to them to save a human?” The words caught my attention. Who was I? Why was I so important? Nothing came to me besides darkness. Anger came over me as I realized that I had been saved. Something deep inside me growled to life, causing me to becoming indifference to my situation. How dare someone rescue me when I did not ask for that! No one controlled me.

“Let’s go into the other room, so we talk about this. She needs to rest.” I felt the uneasy feelings of who was in the room with me.

“How long has she been out?” I woke to soft whispers. The lights low. I could hear a fire crackle near me. The room had a different feel to it, something, or someone was here that was not here before, or I have been moved. I knew that it was something that I did not like. I felt as if there was a secret that I could not remember.

“Almost twenty four hours.” The male voice said. His tone, different, softer, respectful. I heard the concern in his voice.

“I could not get her here faster than that.”

“I know, Vincent. At least she is safe now.” The man was kind and had loveable tone. There was something calming was introduce to me. I felt different, happy, and peaceful.

“I need to step out.” The male said.

“Go, I will stay with Amay.” I felt the bed give under his weight. “Amay, I should of seen this. I feel that my ways are no longer working. I need to take this time and rethink my plan. You are becoming too independent to have the control over you. I know that your plans are not my plans, but while I can keep you in this state, you will forget about yours.” I could hear the emotion, something deep in me revolted from it. Even in my state of mind, I knew what he was saying was I did not agree with, as his words faded my mind misted over and I lost his words.  My mind seemed to want to visit another time that I could not see as actual happening.

“I have clean clothes for her. The salt is bad for her. It will not take me long.” The softness of her voice. She hummed as she worked over my limp body. I just did not want to put anything forth to help her.

“It must really hurt, to walk away from all these people that love you. Your pain is only multiplied by all these people around you. You may die, but their pain will not. To have a mate that has been searching for you, a father calling in favors to search for you. A past lover to leave his family, I must say you must be loved, to throw it away for what. I do not understand you, humans.” Her words hit me hard. Like the ocean coming up to meet me, taking me out. I felt ashamed. Was I a spoiled child, was I acting as one right now, because I did not want to show that I was awake. All because someone saved me?

Her words brought me awake. Blinking a few times, looking around confirming that I was still alive and semi well. I was not lying on the ocean floor having flash backs of my life before I died. I pitied myself.

“What is your name?” She looked up at me. Smiling.

“Cara. I am one of Travis’s mates.”

“One of them. I don’t think I could share.”

“It is not easy for us. But to be with him, we are protected. So we have learned to share.”

“Who is here?” She raised me up. Warm water washed my hair. Rinsing it of the salt.   

“Vincent, your father. Another man, Michael. Two other young men. They stay away most of the time. Then Thomas is on his way.”

“Great.”

“Your face is burnt, but this will help.” She put a cold cream on the salt burns. For a second it burnt, and then cooled down.

“You rest, I will not tell them that you are awake, sleep they will come tonight.” She touched my face, smiled and she was gone. I closed my eyes and did what she told me to do, sleep.

I woke to darkness. Pulling a deep sad breath and rolled to my side. Nothing broken, I guess that was a good sign. I stretched my legs, testing them. Everything felt fine. Rolling my head, keeping my eyes shut, everything felt fine. I went to sit up.

“Don’t move.” I froze. The last time I heard those words, a nightmare broke into a horror movie in a matter of seconds. It was the deep intense tone that left me wondering how much he had changed. Raising up, I looked by the door. He was just inside the door, crouched down in the corner. His eyes blazing mad and black with thirst. The moonshine glimmered across them. His face was set in stone, his hands balled into fists. I knew he had not ate.  His body was ridged. It was only a self control that kept him in his place. I had no idea how he had any of it.

I fell back on the bed. “Go eat. I don’t have the strength to do anything.” I rolled over. He was different. The human side gone. Tears bite my tender skin.

“Why.”

“Go, I am not going to answer any questions.  Everything has been said.” his cold hand touched my shoulder. I flinched. He pulled away. He never had been that cold before. I never had to keep a blanket between us, or a wall for all that mattered.

“I will tell Vincent you are awake.”

“Don’t bother. It will be the same response.” My voice broke. Tears broke lose. My body shook.

“I am sorry.” He did not move.

“Me too.” I said it with a little more force than I meant to. I felt him stiffen. He did not move.

  I knew the moment he stepped away from me. The coldness that greeted me was shocking. I sucked in my breath. I heard him pause. I was weak. I wanted to call out to him. To have him hold me, rock me, tell me everything was going to be alright. I let him go. There was nothing else I could do. Once again, by design or fate I was alone again.

I was standing in the middle of the field. Fighting was all around me, everyone could see me, but yet no one did. I felt alone. I felt unimportant. No one even wanted to kill me. I looked at the stone in front of me. Someone was standing there, waiting for me. Cloaked, face hidden away. I was not scared. I felt relieved that someone noticed me. As the ghostly figure that loomed ahead of me, it was what was in her hands that left shivers down my spine.

“Are you that willing to die for them, when they have not told you anything about your life? You have been left out in the cold and yet you walk up here, brave, holding your head high. Trying to prove something more in your last moments alive. Your destiny, and the ones that say they love you, second guess what they tell you, everyone lies. How this day could have been changed, and yet you stand there willing to end your life from theirs. What a stupid child you really are.”

“My life has been turned upside down, more by you than anyone else that I have met. I have found that their protection has been overly done, but I can not condemn them in their efforts to save me.”

“In your free will, this is what you must do. Lay down, offer your body as the ultimate sacrifice, no fear, no regrets.” I looked down at the stone, a bed, of sorts. I looked up, everyone watching. I saw Thomas, standing next to my father. His glory. I smiled. He deserved to live. I undid my cloak I laid down. My hair falling around me. I seemed to glow. I smiled at my killer. I watched as the white boney hands raised the sharp crooked knife high in the air. I could hear them now. They were rushing for me. To save me. How sweet. The knife pierced my skin, diving deep into my heart. I closed my eyes. I would not make a sound I could not make a sound it was for them. I did it for them.

I sat up screaming! The blood curling scream was not even out, when warm hands picked me up. I scratched at them. I was trying get away.

“Amay, calm down! Relax. Hold her tighter!” The voices mixed.  Faces, of my loved ones, spin in my head. Slowly, very slow the room stopped spinning. I turned my face into his neck. It felt right, warm. My floating stopped. He rocked me. I could feel him trembling, or was it me? 

“This is not good, Vincent.” My protected said against my hair.

“There has been more damage done than what we thought.” I felt him touch the back of my head, I went stiff.

“Shhh Amay, he is not going to hurt you.”  Thomas said to me. My darkness claimed me again. I slept.

I was aware of my breathing before I knew that I was awake. It must be still dark, I could not see anything. My breathing felt different. I felt different. I stayed as still as I could, not wanting to feel anything at this moment. My head was not hurting. I felt numb, but it was peaceful. I listened to my breathing, no that was not my breathing, it was someone else’s. Some one close to me. It must be Thomas. The numb lifted from my hands; I could feel him laying next to me. Thomas would not let anyone else get this close to me. The hardness behind the softness of his skin, the warmth of it too. It felt like satin, I wanted to stroke his skin.  

He felt different. No longer was his hard, tough skin just a out layer of skin, it was a false wall, to hide the truth. The texture was different, it was smooth, where flesh you could feel the skin move, and his barely did. The skin was tight. The muscles even felt different. Stronger, as if that could have been possible. He was warm, he must have ate. I was sure that his skin was flushed from that meal. I wonder what he ate? Everything had a different effect on him. If it was animal, small animal he would have a blush. Larger, deep red. I like that the best, but if it was human, well he looked human. He did not need to eat for a longer time. I wanted to see his skin, I opened my eyes, but it was still to dark to see. I rolled. I moved my hands touching his chest as I moved.

I was so engross with my mission I did not realize the effect of my mission. I did not realize the breathing changing. His skin felt like soft feathers against my skin. It felt wonderful to me. Trying to focus, I did not feel his hands come up and catch mine, until we touched.       

“Amay, do you know what you are doing to me?” He stretched each word, slowly speaking.

“Your awake. I’m sorry” I felt him tense.

“Don’t apologize to me.” I froze. He was still angry.

“I know you are not going to answer any questions, but please, next time, be more vocal about your feelings. It has been hell for me. Everyone else.  Take your anger out on me. Not you. If anything happens to you, I could not live.” I did not say anything.

“Amay, we all mean that. It goes for all of us.” My father said. I turned my face into the pillow.

“Life without Amay Carleano would be very boring.” Michael. He would know about that. I closed my eyes.

The next few weeks I started to recover. I noticed that I had a buzzing sound in my head. I had thought it was from the air, popping my ear drums, or the water, but it was different. It was in my head. When I tried to focus one it, it would bring memories to me that I could not believe. It felt as if there was mental damage to me. Vincent would ask me questions, but as I replied with the answers, I felt as if I was always telling him too much information, I became withdrawn to his line of questioning.

Looking at myself in the mirror cocking my head back and forth it was visible at the weight that I had lost. I was really skinny. I turned sideways to look at myself pulling my shirt up to look at me stomach area; it was easy to see my rib cage. My jeans hung low around my hips. Giving me a look of malnutrition, even the belt could not help in keeping my pants resting against my hips.

“Whoa!” I looked up to see Thomas standing in the door his eyes darken as he scanned over my exposed skin. Severs him right. He cant touch me anymore. I watched as his eyes roamed my exposed area. I dropped my shirt. It was hanging on me. Before it had fit snug.

“At least I lost that twenty pounds.” He growled at me. He was not happy with the situation. Father seemed to be very insecure with us alone. I knew it had nothing to do with us; however the issue was still there. Thomas had a lot to say, and would not say it while Vincent was here. It was not because he was afraid of him; it was just that Thomas was a very private person. Each one held the other’s stare, both challenging the other, waiting to see who would bend, with a deep throat noise, Thomas turned and walked out of the room.

“What ever.” I rolled my eyes at him.

He was more gorgeous than before. His hair had taken on a different shade of brown, a chocolate hues with golden honey and caramel tones. He seemed to have lost his hair grooming kit, his hair was never brushed, and he has let his hair grow a good four inches longer, he did seem to care about it anymore. He face had filled out, giving him a bad boy image. He was not a small framed man before, but his chest had became wider, stronger giving his body structure and defined as it narrowed down to his muscle clad abs defined stomach and lean, strong hips to his legs, that his jeans were snug as he walked. Of everything it was his eyes, I knew that their eyes had to change because of what they ate, but his never changed, only the color took to become a multi colored iris.  You could not tell what his color was, if he had to label his eye color of a DMV work sheet he would have to list every color, or make up a new one to justify how unique they were. Even to compare him to my brothers and father, he was like no other.  He seemed to have lost the human in his transformation; his mood never let anyone forget it.  He was very unstable and edgy. Was that because I tried to kill my self, would have, if I was not saved or it was father as he over acted his role and pushed Thomas. It could Michael, who he really did not know, but knew there was something. There was no other reason to why he would be here. Even to my brothers did not come because they were told to stay home. I was sure it was me that was putting him in this mood for I was distance; I knew what life would be like from now on. Unsure if he realized that we could no longer be together. It crushed my heart, for I never had thought about if I lived what would happen between us. How could we be together as I caused this heartache that would never go away. Thomas is the only boy I truly wanted and because of my selfish act, he was now, like my family a vampire! Before he as only half. He was born this way; his mother had gave up her life to give her son a chance at life. Doomed from the beginning, he has dealt with tragic life experiences living him bitter. We would moments, hidden away in our special place where he could be his self and be happy. Our stolen moments had been are cherished time. I envy what we had, as I realize that we could never sneak away, leaving the world alone and taking our time. As a half immortal he could control it, his desire to feed was mute, he could eat food, where we would sit in a booth at the back of a diner in town and spend hours there as he always had a hunger for double deck cheese burgers and massive baskets of fries. I am sure that we had kept the business going. Now it was different I could feel his stalk me, I knew that my blood bothered him many times, I would sit in my room and listen as he would leave to take care of his hunger need. He stared at me a little longer, unsure if he was waiting for me to invite him back into my arms, and tell him that all is well and that I still loved him and wanted to have what we had before,  He was a vampire now, all the time that he would be fighting against his thirst.

The buzzing always increased when he was around, I could not understand why. What was the connection between that and him? It felt as if my mind was trying to connect to him. Was it a sign that my subconscious was telling me that we need to be together and sooner or later I would give into what my mind was telling me, be with Thomas.

“This buzzing, I wonder if it will ever go away?” I said as I put the ball of my hand to my temple trying to ease the sound deep inside my head.

“What buzzing?” Looking up to see that he was still in the room with me.

“I woke to it. It is what woke me. It does not hurt. - I said when he went to touch my head, I could not handle him not touching me, - and he backed away, frowning.

“Your lunch is ready.” He turned and walked out with his eyes closed, he was clearly frustrated with him, or me.

I knew where I stood, I wanted him. I wanted what we had. I knew when Michael was changed; he tried to kill me, many times. My father had to step in the last time, in which had caused a fight between them. Michael was sent away. Not long after that I heard he found another human girl. She was with child, not one. Three. I also knew that she almost died in the attempt at a c-section. Natural child birth was not a options when the father was a vampire. That was a blow. My father said I was too young. I was. Sixteen years old, you may think you know what you want, but really you have no clue. I am, always have been very advanced and I knew that life was coming at me too soon. To young to be with a vampire or boy for all that mattered.  Here I was again, in the same situation. I wondered how this one was going to end. 

I walked out of my room. Everyone was sitting at the table waiting for me. This was the first time that I had came out of my room. It was a tense moment for me as well as everyone else. I was not sure if I was the one that was giving off all the tension, or there was tension among the men and I was being left out in their conversations.  Glancing at each pair of eyes as the watched me walk slowly into the small dinning room, taking the closest seat, in case I needed to run for safety.

My father found that human food did not hurt them. Vampires did not have to eat food, it was for the ones that wanted to find a way to have a normal life, one that they could fit in, and anywhere they went too.  Like my family, we may live at a distance from humans, but we do mix with them when we went into town. We never wanted to be the family that was secret and always being talked about. When everyone looked as if they were perfect, people were going to talk anyways.

I sat next to Thomas sliding into the chair, trying to do my best not to touch him, but I did. I jerked away. The spark that hit me. Our eyes met as we both felt it. My heart was beating fast, blood rushing to my skin, leaving me in a heat stroke. A few coughs from the other side of the table.

“Sorry…” My word was soft spoken, my throat caught as his eyes blazed with an intense emotion that I had not seen in some time. I had to drop my eyes as my blood pressure began to rise even more as I responded to wordless suggestion. I kept my plate close in front of me. I could feel all of them looking at me. I ate my fruit and veggies. The meat turned my stomach. I pushed that away.

“I need to breathe.” My statement was not a shock to the others, as I moved as fast as I could, I was followed.

“Wait up. I want to talk to you.” Michael was never the one to understand that people needed to breathe alone. He caught up to me within a few steps that I could get from the door. I did not give me any notion that I acknowledged him. Hoping that he would get the hint and leave me alone. There was still emotions that I had not dealt with, and was not in the mood to deal with now.

“Vincent told me that you had changed since Thomas came alone. I do have to agree with him. I am shocked by your attitude, that you have became very comfortable with the cold shoulder.”

“It would seem that you are right, however, I believe life has gave me a life that has been very selfish as it demands everything from me and I have to give up anything that I want because others seem to come first.”  I kept walking.

“Ouch. You had your right there. May, please.” He grabbed my arm and swung me around, thinking if he used my nickname I would give in to his pleas.

“What do you want? You want to tell me, the same thing I have heard for the last five years. I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to hear how much pain I would have caused. I don’t want to hear it. I just want to be left alone!  It seems to be such a big deal that I cause pain to everyone else, and when it comes on me, it is not big deal, she can handle it. She will get over it and move on. When is it my turn? When will it be when everyone realizes that I am not playing here! When will everyone realize, Michael that it hurts and I am tired of being the one that has to deal with what is handed to me while everyone else does not have too. I just want to be left alone!” He let go, backing away, my force of my full frontal attack on him shocked him. I was sure that my father and Thomas heard it as well.

“Alone, is that what you want, to be alone.  I can see that, you have made it clear to all of us that you want to be alone. You want to sit in that room and be alone. You want to be alone, but when you are alone, do you realize that you don’t want to be alone. How can anyone deal with that?   When you are calling for Thomas in your sleep, do you want to be alone then as well?  As he sits on your bedside and holds you, and you sleep deep, you want to be alone? When you called him, to torment him as he had to hear you leap to your death, did you want to be alone then too, Amay?  Don’t tell me that you want to be alone, that you deal with your pain, none of us are trying to kill our self in any manner. You want to be alone because you think its best for you. Maybe so, because there is nothing that is standing in front of me that I know anymore. Life has changed you to the point that no one can handle you. I give Thomas kudos for trying to handle you. Go and be alone, and see how long you come running back.”

“Hmm this is interesting coming from you. Since it was you that made sure that I would taste pain first hand.”    

“Bitter I see. I can not help or change what happened between us. You have no idea how I have searched for a way that it could have. Then Thomas came and he has done what I wanted to do. It hurts, I still love you. I had no plans of being with anyone, it was a weak moment. I was pushed into staying with her. I want you, I have always wanted you. It makes me mad to see him hold you the way I wanted to. I have to wonder about your true relationship with him?”

“You got what you wanted. That was clear. I wonder if you did not use me to get that.  Michael you were always after one thing or another, I may have been in there somewhere, but I was not the top of the list. The difference between you and Thomas is that you were just plane out mean afterwards. I know now why you were going after me; it was not just to kill me. I find that information and what you are telling me now, does not mix well. If you really wanted to be with me, then you would have found a way. Thomas has. Go home to your wife and children. They did not ask for what they have gotten either. I will not hurt them for your selfish desire. As you know with Thomas a full vampire now, you know how my father feels about it. Thomas and I are done. We are no longer. I do not plan on searching for anyone else. I am done with being hurt.” He flinched at my coldness.

“Wow Amay. I am really sorry. Maybe I should have bitten you. You are not the same girl anymore are you?”

“That seems to be a million dollar question.”

“I would pay it, to know it.”

“No, what we had, was just that question. It is all I ever have is questions. My questions are always answered for me. Would you be bitter, yes, don’t lie to me; I know you do it well. Gabby is waiting; I am sure worried as well.”

“Take care, Amay. He really does love you. More than I did. I loved you. He will find a way.”

“It is not that I am worried about, I am not sure if I can find that way.”

“I guess it will be a question for you. But he will answer it.” I felt the slight kiss on my cheek, he was gone.

I wondered around the area. Played with fawns, bunny rabbits. Tiny paws tickled my skin. Doe’s laid around me. I stroked their fur. It was nice that something so pure was able to forgive me.

“So beautiful.”

“I agree.” All the animals were gone. Thomas walked around the bushes. He looked fresh and clean. One thing, Thomas always enjoyed his showers.

“The animals are.” I sat up. Pushing down my shirt. I did notice that he watched me.

“Lunch time, dinner?” I looked up at the sky. Mid afternoon.

“Unless you are hungry?”

“Nope.” I pulled a basket of black berries beside me. He stood there. His hands behind his back. I looked up; a tiny rabbit was peeking at me.

“You can come back. I won’t let him eat you.” Thomas made a disgusted sound as he rolled is eyes at my statement. He watched as the rabbit edged his slim body from the bushes, eyeing Thomas as he thought about returning to its pervious spot.

“Rabbit are to gamey for me.” He said. He dropped to the ground. I looked him. I had not invited him to stay.  The bunny hopped into my lap I scratched its ears. Soon more came back, the deer did not.  Soon they were sniffing Thomas.

“He does not like rabbits. Crawl all over him.” I laughed as the chattered over it. He just looked at me. One brave one touched him. Finally when Thomas did not move hopped in his lap.

“Hope you mean your words.” I said watching the rabbit make Thomas rub him.

“I would not eat them, if you would smile at me again.” I knew that this conversation was heading to heartache and I could not put myself in that situation. It was too painful.

“I think you are doing everything backwards to say that. Up you guys go; my butt is numb, got to walk it off. I want to get more berries.” They all hopped off. I walked off. Leaving a very shocked vampire. I heard him coming after me. That did not last long.

He froze when he came around I was petting a giant bear. This bear seemed to unnaturally massive. I could not imagine any other bear being this size.  Even laying on the ground he was a good two feet taller than me.  We seemed to be natural friends, like a pet that I had for years.  His oversized brown-black eyes eyed me with a kindness that wild animals just did not have. Even though it had only been a spilt second relationship.

“No he wont hurt you, or me. Here let me get this berries they look great.” I was half way in. the bear stood up and pushed the bush over, snapping it in half. Looking at him as we helped each other. Leaving Thomas in horror as he watched as the bear moved around and over me.

“That is one way.” The very ripe berries were there for me to grab.

“Maybe you should put on a red cloak and hold a picnic basket.”

“Are you going to play the big bad wolf?”

“Amay.” He reached out and grabbed me; he had reached his comfort level. The bear came alive. Turning on Thomas, I had to dropped to the ground as the bear tucked me under him. He was not going to give me up.

“It’s fine.” The bear was up on his hind legs. Thomas was crouched ready to fight. I tried to stop a serious fight, in my position I was not favoring any type fast movement.

 “NO, back down Thomas!”

“What!”

“I was clear. Back down” Thomas stood up straight. He pushed his hand through his very wild hair. The bear calmed down. Crawling out for underneath the bear, I touched his massive shoulder.  I could barely feel his muscles twitch from under the thick fur. My hand actually disappeared as his fur engulfed my hand and wrist.

“I’m going home. I will see you soon.” I turned and walked away. Both males growled at each other.

“We need to talk.”

“About what?” I said walking across a fallen tree.

“Us.” I stopped.

“There is no us, Thomas. Did my father not tell you? He does not allow it. It was different when you were half human.” I started walking.

“Amay, stop. Yes, Vincent told me, just like he told me when he realized that I liked you. You are the reason I stayed.  You are the first and only person that has stood up to me. Do you think that I am going to walk away from that? I told him that I have overcame a lot and dealt with a lot. You are not easy to be around; I have no desire to kill you. Do you have any idea if I did that what I would do to myself? I would not be skipping around the world telling everyone that I killed you.”

“Really he told you? He told you that when we became together that there was rules, I get as well as you do, that we broke I am sure we broke all those rules. This time, it is different, Thomas. You really did not have to live like the rest, but now, you have too. It is not a choice any longer. How are you going to deal with me?  You said you love my emotions, and they have not changed, how are you going to deal with my temper, my excitement, and my other emotions?” He raised his eye brow. He did not seem very surprised.

“I don’t want to kill you. I just want to be with you. All relationships have their ups and downs. I do realize this is different than the normal teenage romance. We are not normal teenage kids, Amay That I get, but you are not understanding is that you are not normal either. Do you not realize that you should have died?  You should have been crushed in that ocean; you should not have been saved alive. Do you not know, did Vincent not tell you, you were not sweep out into the ocean, you were on the rocks. This is something Vincent cannot tell me that it was luck, there is something different about you, and that makes it safe for us. I may as well point out that it has worked with others, as it worked with us before. Killing you is the last thing on my mind.”

“Why is that?”

“Because I want to do other things to you.”

“Too late for that as well. You had your chance. I believe that is the only rule that we did not break, and that was all you.” I was walking under a willow tree. He caught me. Pinned me to the ground.

“No its not too late.” He kissed me. It was tender. Then became more passionate then brutal. I pushed him away.

“Check your self, you want to kill me.” I got up and walked away. He did not follow me.

The next few days I stayed in my room. My father brought me my meals. He stood there waiting for me to say something. Finally he just sat down.

“We need to talk, Amay. You are going to answer my questions.” I frowned at him. I felt that I owed him nothing.

“I told you, that I would change you. I don’t see why there is a rush for that. Thomas is older than you are. His life has been different. You have not had to make those choices that he has. To compare is not right.  Thomas life has been harder than you realize. He has kept a lot from you; there is horror in his life. It is nothing to what you have went through Amay.  Thomas, as you know has grown on me, as well as everyone else, I know what you are thinking. I feel Thomas can handle his self. Thomas has proven that as well. He has this inner strength that I only see in a few immortals. Thomas outlook on life is different than Michael’s. Thomas has only been full vampire since you ran away. It has not been that long. You thought you heard us talking about changing him, and if you had came in as you usually way you would have found out that I could not change him. We had been doing a lot of tests, Amay; he was more vampire than human.  He was holding onto his human side, in which deny the immortal side, which made him more mortal.  He had to make that decision what he wanted to be. It is hard for him to understand what he was, what he wanted to be, and how to live the way that he wanted. When he heard that you ran, and soon afterwards we knew where you were going, your mother said the words that you were going to jump that is what changed him.  Was it right? That I don’t know and he can not change again. This is what he is. But as for the two of you, I can see the love there, I am not blind and I know the closeness that you two share, it runs deep and I feel that Thomas will be able to deal with his change and you just as he has before. Much more than Michael could at this time. Did you know that when Zack came in and said he saw you walking into the airport? Even in pain. He went after you. He chased after you. I could not stop him.”

“I did not want to be chased. I am tried of being chased. I want that life! I have the man that I want; now I should have that life. You should not be telling me how to live my life, and more importantly you should not be telling Thomas how to live. I believe you feel that you have this undertone of control that is really starting to get on my last nerve.  As sad it is, it is the truth. I have something deep inside me telling me to tell you to back off.” I played with my grapes waiting for him to become upset and use that tone with me. Thomas words still rang in my head, I should have been dead.

“Understandable. You do not have long to go. I stand by my promise. I think that you should try a little harder with Thomas.” I looked up at him. His voice had dropped a tone, and became flat. I knew he did not like what I was saying, but what was he going to do.

“You want me to do what?” It was good that I was sitting down.  My shock was clear.

“I know there are something’s that you can not do, but that won’t be long. When you two are ready, anything is possible.”

“What are you going to do if he tries to kill me?”

“That is between him and I. Your safety is important, but I know he feels the same way. I can see clearly. I had a long talk with Michael.  He has been able to answer questions about relationships. I feel that Thomas is different will be able to control his emotions more. This is why, I have decided to leave you two here alone. To work on each other. To see if it is possible.”

“What? You are going to leave me here, with a new born.”

“Half new born. He is different, Amay. But I will tell you, I never bit him.” I looked up at him. “Yes, I am going to leave you here with him. You two need to be alone. I will be gone in the morning. I love you, Amay, do the right thing. You will be moving to a different place.” He kissed my forehead. Something he had not done in a long time. I should have known he had meant what he said.

I really was confused by his words, and actions. Why was he doing this to me? I knew that he always stood by his words and only acted when he had gave enough thought to come to a decent conclusion. How could he come to this before now? Did he know this was going to happen? If he did, how did he know? Where we moving too?

I could not get passed the past. That night I relived that last moment that Michael and I were together. I saw the scene differently. Thomas would never do that.