'the dice now fully loaded, hurtled inevitably towards the chasm, where no woman, man or child, could ever return from!
Breakdown had occured, and it seemed as though this surreal nightmare was never to end. No conclusion, no resolve, just perpetual emptiness of mind, body and soul!
The small boy, just nearing his puberty, hormones racing around his entire being, was at a complete loss as to how something like this could of happened to him. Was it a monster?
"No, he thought to himself," it's not a monster, it's, it's a dinosaur!" Of course, why hadn't he thought of that before. Now he could get even, and the first object of his destruction would be that horrible person who had so cruelly emasculated his diminutive private part!
Well perhaps that was a slight exaggeration, as he knew it was still there, though at times it felt like it had been removed! The pain of Him tugging away, the upwards thrust, oh it just made him shudder right to the very core of his being.
'Dad, can I have a T Rex please," he whined! "Please, please please,"I really want one for my Birthday"!
"Why,?" His Angry Father retorted, what do you want to do with one of those, they just eat everything?"
"I know Dad, but I promise, I wont make it eat people, I'll just make it eat tree's and grass, just stuff like that Dad" "Please?? He continued to whine, though it was falling on deaf ears as his father drifted off to another place, another time!
A hellish notion entered the mind of his overbearing father, one that took him on a journey, into a bottomless deep dark hole. He recalled that recurring dream he had had since his own adolesence.
That Pram, that bloody pram, I can't get out of it, why am I in a pram, I am too big for this, I can walk! Oh no here it comes again, the gravel pit, and the edge of the quarry, I am going to be tipped down there...
Damnation, to that woman, his thoughts quivered, as he snapped out of his daytime drama! Soon damnation will come, I will bide my time he thought, then that rotten nightmare will surely disappear!
Owen looked around the room, ignoring his small Son just for the moment. Amid the perpetual plea's for that eating machine, the television blaring, he clapped eyes upon his wife sitting in her chair, eye's downcast hair unkempt.
"Wonder what crap she will dish up for me to eat tonight he thought?" "No doubt some revolting experiment of her's, Oh hell I could do with a Pie" He knew what had to be done, immediately, as he was not going to afford himself the indignity of all her so called health food ventures.
"Hon, he exclaimed" I am just going up the street to get some supplies for us, bread and milk, before the kids run out of food for their school lunches!!"
Of Course his Wife knew darned well where he was going. Her father had enlightened her to his habitual junk food addiction some years earlier. She knew that no matter what she cooked, or how she prepared it, he would pretend to like it!.
Most of it ended up either in the fridge, or even worse still, on the bench where he hoped one of the cats may pinch what he hadn't been able to stuff in on top of the greasy junk food.
"Yeah, ok she muttered, What do you want for tea tonight dear?"
"Whatever you want to make for me is fine,he uttered with such a tone of sarcasm, that it shook her brain like an earthquake. "why do I bother she thought, why do I bother!"
Little Nathan had not given up on his campaign to aquire that T-Rex, so without missing a beat, he quietly asked his Father if he could get just a small T-Rex at the supermarket, to which is father replied out of sheer exasperation, "ok no problem Son, I will give you anything you want, you know I love you, don't you?"
Candice knew the real reason for the unnecessary trip to the supermarket. The was plenty of bread and milk in the fridge, and it pained her so badly to think that her husband was so hell bent on self destruction.
His body was breaking down, his whole life was nearing oblivion, despite all attempts to help him reform his eating habits, he persisted in eating fatty junk food at every turn. Mealtimes had become a burden for her, and no pleasure was to be gained in preparing them.
"I might as well not bother anymore, she concluded, "but for the benefit of the children, I guess I will put something together, at least they like my cooking!"
While she was agonizing over what to prepare, that may just tempt the palate of her willingly Ingorant Husband, she recalled how he always liked to eat his Mother's mess. To her it was the foulest. Boiled vegetables, that had no nutritional value, plastered with Ketchup, eeewww yuk she shuddered, the smell of that muck.
"What on earth does little Nathan want with ferocious Dinosaurs all of a sudden, she mused?" He has always been such a passive natured Child?"
"What on earth has got into his head, why the sudden turnabout in attitude?" All these questions troubled her, on top of the knife like pain that had taken residence within her body since the car accident some years earlier.
"Oh dammit, she cussed, can I not make one meal one night of my life, without this crippling pain". If I could just feel normal for one day in my life, that would be so great!"
With those thoughts in mind, pain ecampassing her lower lumbar region, she rose from her sagging chair to set about making dinner, knowing most of it would end up in the dogs bowl, but for now, as usual she must perform her duties, after all, the dogs needed feeding!
" I hate this time of the night, I hate it, I hate it, and there's nothing later to compensate... I suppose it will be the usual routine of Midnight prowling, endless ebay searches, or more obsessive reading till the wee small hours..Oh the usual boring pointless crap"
Deep within those thoughts of extreme negativity, Candice flipped into her own little world, embracing her deepest fantasies which she knew would put a smile on her face, and give her wings of inspiration,even for just another night....
"I so miss that deep and tender kissing, she whimpered to herself, I would just die to have those strong arms about me again, soft tender kisses, that would lead to a hot passionate encounter"
Oblivious of all else around, and no Idea what was wrong with two of the most important men in her life, she cut up the carrots and cabbage for the stir fry!
Ch'erie de Perrot
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