Q-Man Fenton is my name, an' survivin's my game.
I live on the mean streets of downtown Fort Worth. Live near the area of Cowtown; yeah, that's where I spend most a' my time, tryin' to find somewhere to stay, somethin' to eat, especially when it's cold out, like it's been lately. In fact, yesterday we had snow. Again! This has been a very hard winter on people, especially those like myself who don't have a place to stay.
Durin' cold snaps like this, we have to look high an' low for shelter; when we do, usually the shelters are full up, so then we have to find a place to lay our weary bodies without worryin' about cops or people runnin' us off. It's really a pain in the ass!
Don't people know about "helpin' your fellow man"? Doesn't God say that in the Bible? Or have they forgotten that and would rather look out for theyselves?? I think the latter is the case. Sad!
Seems that ever since I got caught cheatin' on my wife Linda, my life's been nothin' but one tailspin after another. I lost my wife, my home, my life, even my job. I also lost my best buddy, my friend, Eek, who was hit by a car while crossin' the street. Durn fool never did look both ways; look what it got him: a ticket to an early grave. He was only 24 when he died, just a baby.
I now spend my days wonderin' what God has in store for me. He must not care about me or else somethin' would have happen' by now. Some of my homeless friends, they ain't homeless no more: either they died (like Eek and Joe did; both died from seizures), or they ended up livin' in goverment/halfway housing, like my friends Gracie-The-Bag-Lady and Bright Eyes. (Bright Eyes was a friend of Gracie's.) I am happy for Bright Eyes and Gracie; yet I wonder what's goin' to become of the rest of us.
Once a month, we get free eats and free clothin' from charitable outfits; yet that doesn't solve the bigger picture: gettin' us off the streets or gettin' a job lined up for us. I look for work every day, but I am turned away when they find out that I am homeless and don' have a current address. Very frustrating. I am not a bad person; I just want a chance to get off the street an' become successful!
Is that too much to ask????
Doesn't help that I am a Veteran. Yeah, I am a Veteran. Fought in Grenada; saw some horrible things there that are imprinted on my mind forever; have PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder); still suffer from flashbacks as a result of it; have to see the shrink at the VA, but don't see any improvements: I still have as many flashbacks now as I did back then when I came home from Grenada.
An' when people find out that I am a Veteran, they'd rather spit on me or call me dirty names than to say "thank you for your service, sir!". Or they say my fears/nightmares are all in my head, what I gone through in Grenada are only "prefabricated lies". It's nothing but one frustration after another; even a cur-dog is treated way better than I will ever be!
Then people wonder why I am so fuckin' bitter. You live in my shoes and see what I have to deal with. Then you'll see exactly what I mean.
Tryin' to get on VA disability, but it don't do any good when I don't have a viable address; so I get nothing, only rely on my very wits to survive. Or they tell me that I am not disabled ENOUGH, that I can work. RIGHT! I enjoy having these godda** nightmares/flashbacks! I enjoy tryin' to find a place to stay or diggin' in trash cans for somethin' to eat!
Those fool assholes couldn't be more wrong!!
Well, it's gettin' chilly again, so I am goin' to see if I can scrounge up a place to stay for the night or at least find somethin' warm to eat; my belly's really talkin' up a blue thunderstorm! I will write in here again; just think of us bums the next time you get in your nice, shiny, fancy HUMMER or Caddy, or go out for the night! Not all people have it nearly as nice as you do!
*to be continued.*