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Donna Hale Chandler

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By Donna Hale Chandler
Friday, February 26, 2010

Rated "G" by the Author.

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Even well meaning Christmas gifts can sometimes bring about head aches, hives, and prehaps even elevate your blood pressure.

This past Christmas, my sweetie gave me what I'm sure was supposed to be a Christmas gift that would bring me hours of pleasure and simplify my life in the process.  I am a technology-challenged 60 year-old female so when I opened the shiny new DVR, it looked to me like a nightmare from hell.  Not only would it need to be hooked up PROPERLY to my television, I would also need to LEARN how to use it.  Oh horrors!  Now, this wonderful man is smiling at me as if he's given me the world and my head is already starting to ache in protest.  I'm doubtful that the old brain cells are able to learn one more new thing.
I don't want to seem ungrateful and I certainly don't want to appear stupid to my honey so I squeal with delight, declaring that this is exactly what I've been wanting and I can hardly wait to see how it works.  Hours later, 'honey' goes home and leaves me with a DVR all correctly connected and a brand new remote control in my hand.  Although he has several times, explained how to use the remote, he could have been speaking a foreign language as far as I was concerned.
I, however am not a quitter and a few days later I at least know how to turn my TV on and off when suddenly something goes wrong.  Oh no, what did I do to break it?  No picture, no sound, this can't be good.  Track down the Owners Manual, find the troubleshooting page.  No picture, no sound, check connections.  Well, unless the DVR demons came in while I was sleeping, the connections should be right.  It worked yesterday.  Ah ha, an 800 number, just what I need.
Ages and ages and ages later the nice, polite DVR service rep decided that I must need a replacement.  One would be mailed to me the next morning.  Yikes!  That means, connecting the thing AGAIN.
Sure enough replacement DVR is delivered, broken one is packed and taken to UPS to ship back.  Replacement DVR is hooked up.  Turn on TV, no picture, no sound.  Unhook everything, start all over, hook it up again, no picture, no sound.  Now where did I put that 800 number?  It was just like an instant replay, push this button, disconnect this wire, reconnect wire, push 3 buttons at the same time while singing American the Beautiful, nothing worked.  AGAIN, it was decided that a replacement was exactly what I needed.
By the time I stopped crying from frustration, the THIRD DVR arrived. Again, I pack away the non-functioning one.  This time however, my son was visiting and everyone knows that young people automatically know now how to hook up anything and everything.  "No,", he says, "He doesn't need the instructions."  I pace the floor as he twists and turns this cable and that cable, connects this wire, unhooks that one.  Finally I hold my breath, and push the On Button.  Picture, sound! I had picture and sound!  I could even change the channels!  The DVR Gods had taken pity on me.
I still need to learn to use the record, pause, back-up and go-forward buttons, set my 'season passes' etc.,  but I'll manage somehow.  Be careful, though, because believe me, a DVR would be hazardous to your blood pressure, even when it's a gift from your special someone.

 © copyright   2010 by Donna Hale Chandler

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Reviewed by Bob McNesby 2/29/2012
This is a cute and funny story and so indicative of us men trying to pick a gift for our beloveds.

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Donna Hale Chandler

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Shakespeare: Slammed, Smeared, Savaged and Slaughtered, Part II is adult literature that satirizes ten famous William Shakespeare plays...  
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