To think that I will have to possibly give up my career in the police force is more than I can stomach; worst of all, I will have to break the news to my wife and kids (that is, if Dr. Ravi hasn't already done the damage by telling them).  Spending these long days in a hospital bed with people rushing in and out is starting to wear on my psyche; whoever said you get any rest in a hospital obviously lied because you don't.

My wife has been here, as have the children, but I don't remember seeing them.  Guess I have spent a lot of time sleeping in a medicinal-induced haze.  My mind is confused:  I don't know what the time of day it is ... let alone, which day.  You seem to lose all track of time when you're in the Intensive Care ward ...

I'm still hooked up to the monitors; the oxygen mask is no longer there, but twin prongs rest in my nose; I am still getting oxygen.  Hopefully that will be gone soon; I don't like the sensation of air hissing up my nostrils every few seconds!

Dr. Ravi says I'm doing well.  If I am doing well, then why am I still paralyzed?  Why isn't anything being done to help me get my feeling back?  I don't want to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair and have others do things for me!  I've always been active; I don't want to throw all of it away!!

Some of my co-workers from the force have come by to see me.  Like my wife and kids, I really don't remember them stopping by.  Maybe today they will come see me while my mind is still lucid and while I still know what's going on (sort of).  Meanwhile, the breakfast guy just came with the breakfast tray; he tells me to eat up.  Easier said than done.  There's nothing like the news that you're going to be paralyzed for the rest of your life to wreck one's appetite!

I don't know how long I will be in the hospital, but it will probably be for a while.  I will have to continue to recover from my injuries and probably undergo months and months of rehabilitative therapy.  Hopefully down the road I will walk (with help), but right now, as of this time, that is looking highly unlikely.  So a wheelchair may very well be in my future.

*to be continued.*