I have been home for several weeks now, somehow managed to finish out my schooling, I am now officially a graduate I of course did not walk to the platform to get my diploma instead I wheeled myself, but I made it and I knew that was thanks to God.
I still have times brief moments in the morning when I wake up and for a nano second forget that I am paralyzed from the waist down, but I am glad to be alive. I grieve over the loss of my ability to walk, but by no means am I going to let this define me. I have a relationship with the Lord and that is the most important thing, I know that he needs to always come first.
My friends have all been supportive if I need to talk they listen,, especially my best friend Aimee I do not know what I would do without her, but I am grateful that the Lord saw it fit to bring us together as friends, he is good to me and despite what I have been going through I am grateful to be alive, my days of cheerleading and roller skating may be over, but there is still plenty I can do and for that I am thankful.
Physical therapy has allowed me to gain strength in my upper body, to allow myself to be more self sufficient, I know now that just because I am in a chair it does not mean I cannot do things on my own. I also know that if I do need help from time to time I should not be afraid of feeling helpless. We all need help from time to time. I am so grateful that I am what the Lord has done despite what I have been through.
I do find myself crying from time to time, and I know it is natural but I still have this thing about crying in front of others. I don’t know why but I have always been that way. I am so glad that I have the Lord who I can cry out to though, because no matter what he always listens.
My graduation was kind of bittersweet, not only because I was not able to walk up to get my diploma, but because it is like I am saying goodbye to childhood. Somehow I managed to managed to Graduate as a valedictorian because even while I was in the hospital I worked hard on my school work, but I do worry about college from time to time.
I am believing that the Lord is going to help me calm my fears about college life, and I know that he is going to be with me. I am hoping to attend a private Bible college but that I have delayed, I may just spend a couple of years at the local junior college, because I still have extensive physical and occupational therapy sessions and I know I need to allow myself to get stronger both physically and I need to deal with this emotionally so I am grateful I have a Christian Counselor.
To Be Continued