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Paul B Bruce

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An excerpt from The Nemesis File
By Paul B Bruce
Sunday, July 04, 2010

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The first "job: in Belfast

That night i kept practising drawing my pistol. I kept loading and unloading it, practising the draw, wondering if i would fuck up. The palms of my hands kept sweating until i told myself to get a grip and then i would practise some more. That night i lay awake, tossing and turning, thinking what could go wrong. I don't think i slept a wink, i was so worried about fucking up. The nexy morning i was still nervous. I could hardly dress myself. I didn't want any breakfast so i just had a cup of coffee and a cigarette. I practised some more and found i was shaking so much that i couldn't hold the pistol steady. I began to get worried that i would be unable to pull the trigger when it came to it.
Don nipped out to make a couple of phone calls.   When ha returned we all bundled into the Marina and drove off with JR at the wheel.  We parked about half a mile from the pub.  Don said "Don't worry, it'll go like clockwork. I promise you"  I gave him a quick look, got out of the car and set off towards the newsagents on my own, my mouth dry, my hands sweating. Don followed about 30 yards behind and another 30 yards behind came Benny.  JR stayed with the vehicle.  As i walked towards the newsagent i kept checking my watch to make sure i arrived right on time, praying that the two men would keep to their normal routine.  As i approached the corner opposite the shop my heart missed a beat.  I could see them chatting away to each other and walking casually  as they had done every day, towards the shop.  They didn't even notice me.  They went into the shop when i was about 80 yards away.  I increased my pace, not knowing how long they would stay in there.  I didn't want to miss them.  I had planned to hit them as they came out.  I looked through the glass door of the shop but i could see that they were still being served so i pretended to be looking at something in the window.  I glanced around but there was no one to be seen.  As i stood still, waiting impatiently, I felt my legs turn to jelly and thought i was about to collapse.  My heart was thumping and my hands felt hot and sweaty.  I couldn't keep them still.  I felt beads of sweat on my forehead and was sure i looked just like a gunman waiting to shoot someone.  For a split second panic overtook me and i wondered if i should just forget it and go back to the car.  As those thoughts raced through my head i saw the shop door open and the two men emerge.  I noticed that one was opening his packet of cigarettes.  As soon as i saw them my panic vanished.  I just thought of what i had to do and my nerves held steady.  Now i was acting without thinking.  My pistol was already cocked. I put my hand under my leather jacket, pulled out the Browning and shot the man on my left full in the face from about five or six feet.  I then immediately shot the other bloke twice, once in the heart and once in the face.  I turned the gun on the first one again and shot him in the chest as he crumpled slowly to the ground.  The glass in the door shattered and a spray of blood spurted out from the chest of the man i had shot first, covering half his body in blood.  I just stood there, trying to take in what i had done, wondering if i should check if they were dead.  But i knew they were. Suddenly i felt a pull on my arm.  It was Don.  "What are you fucking doing.........waiting to sign autographs?.......Come on".................






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