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Kevin L Nenstiel

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Baby Boomer Admits “Maybe Sixties Weren’t So Hot.”
By Kevin L Nenstiel
Friday, September 27, 2002



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RAPID CITY, SD (Reuters)—In a stunning admission made before a live audience consisting of his fourteen-year-old son Timothy, local Baby Boomer Niles McCormack today declared, “Maybe the Sixties weren’t so damn hot after all.”

This remarkable reversal of position represents the latest move in a long series of conflicts between McCormack, 48, and his youngest son. At issue today was which station would be on the car radio as McCormack drove Timothy to his afternoon soccer practice.

Timothy has been known to favor a local teen pop station, which McCormack despises. McCormack refers to his son’s favored radio station by the facetious call letters KRAP.

McCormack, meanwhile, attempted to change the station to a “classic rock” broadcaster which favors early Beatles, Elvis Presley, and the Four Seasons. Timothy likes to call his father’s chosen radio station “Boring old man music.”

In explaining the admission later, McCormack pointed out that, on hitting the preset button on his radio, he happened to hear a snatch of the Lemon Pipers’ 1968 number one bubblegum rock hit “Green Tambourine.”

“I hated that song then and I hate it now,” McCormack said, through clenched teeth. “I think Amnesty International should qualify playing ‘Green Tambourine’ as a violation of basic human rights.”

Questioned by his son, McCormack admitted, “My dad used to tell me, ‘Turn that crap off! That’s not music, it’s just noise!’”

“And I got to thinking about it when that song came on the radio just now. Maybe the Sixties weren’t so damn hot after all. I mean, this was the decade that gave us the Beatles and the Who and the Stones and the Dead and all, but we also got the Cowsills and Strawberry Alarm Clock and Wayne Fontana and the Mindbenders.”

“Come on, be serious,” McCormack went on, “when we look back, we forget a lot of the idiotic stuff. It wasn’t all The White Album and Woodstock, after all.”

Hard on the heels of McCormack’s musical admission came his declaration that Sixties politics left something to be desired.

“Just because we had Bobby Kennedy and Martin Luther King doesn’t mean we were really saving the world or anything,” he clarified.

“We had a lot of morons who thought that growing their hair and standing naked in the rain would stop a major overseas war or something. Yeah, you need a poli-sci degree for that, don’t you?”

“And how about the Weather Underground? Protecting working people by harassing cops who were just trying to make a living? Or Jerry Rubin and his pack of idiots grinding Chicago to a halt and flipping off news cameras—I bet he had to work real hard to come up with that political strategy.”

“Hell, maybe we really were a bunch of shaggy fools back then, like my old man said.”

This startling admission hasn’t changed McCormack’s mind on current pop culture or current politics. In a press statement issued to his wife, McCormack stated, “I still think Britney Spears should be sent to Catholic school, and President Bush is still a no-neck grandstander.”

However, “Maybe I can cut Tim a little slack, you know? I mean, it wasn’t like we were all that and a bag of chips, right?”


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Reviewed by Newt X 10/2/2002
Heh, heh, heh... One of these days, you'll be old too, you know!
Reviewed by Allen 10/2/2002
I Loved it too!
Reviewed by Peter Adotey Addo 9/29/2002
Love it.....

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