Lord I know Star is afraid, and is putting walls up because of that, but Lord I honestly don’t know how I am supposed to reach her, how I am supposed to be a good friend, a good Sister to her, if all I get is her anger! I need your help Lord and I need patience.Star was hurting I knew that, and all I wanted to do was help her, to be a good friend, and a good sister to her. I was starting to feel like I was getting nowhere. I did not know how I was supposed to get through the wall Star had built around herself. She was telling me little pieces of her story here and there, but I felt there was so much more she was holding back. I did not know how to help her if she would not allow me to do that, but I felt at the same time that was exactly what the Lord was calling me to do.
I knew that God had sent Star to be my sister for a reason. It was no mistake my parents adopted her. It was God’s hand that orchestrated it against impossible odds, in a country that made it impossible for an American, Non Muslim family to adopt a Muslim child, but Star was meant to be with us. She needed the Hope that she could not find if she stayed in that remote village where she had come from. In fact she probably would not have lived at all if she had stayed in that village.
I did not know everything Star had gone through, but just from what she told me I know she must have felt she was living in Hell. A little child, a little girl should not live in fear like that, but Star had. Up until she was eleven when she was brought to America.
Star had so much sorrow in her eyes. It broke my heart just looking into my Sisters eyes.
It made me realize what a blessed life I had led, and now I was doing my best to try and share that life with my sister. But how was I supposed to do that, if I could not reach her?
Lord you know what you are doing, help me to see that. Help me to be a good friend, a good sister to Star.Star shook if you got to new here, afraid of what happen. It didn’t matter how many times you told her you were not going to hurt her, she shook. I did not know how to show her that we did not want to hurt her. I was her friend now, her sister, but I felt like I could be neither. She was pushing everyone and everything away.
I found her one night, laying on the floor by the sliding glass door, curled up in a ball. I wondered what she was thinking. What she was afraid of. Finally I found myself laying by her.
“I felt relieved when they were dead.” She whispered. “I felt relieved because it would finally end. The tears I cried were tears of relief. I was going to get out of that place.”
“I’m sorry Star.” Was all I could say. I felt helpless at that moment to say or do anything to help her.
“It was not your fault.”
“I know but I am sorry that it happened to you.”
“It was bad Hope, I was scared. Dogs in the street are treated better than I was.”
Star was opening up to me in a way I had expected.
“I could not even begin to imagine what you went through.”
“I would not want you to know what I went through before, it was bad, very bad.”
“I’m sorry Star.”
Star reached out her hand, taking me by surprised, and we lay on the floor watching the sun come up. For the first time I felt like I was connecting with Star. The road was not going to be easy, but this was something the Lord called me to do. Star was now my little sister, and I needed to reach out to her.
There is no task bigger than the good Lord!
To Be Continued