“Mom did you know about everything that happened to Star?” I asked.
“Not everything.” Mom said. “I know she’s been hiding some things, I don’t think even the adoption agencies and caseworkers new everything.”
I had no idea how I was going to begin to explain to Mom everything I had learned, but I felt like I needed to tell Mom. Mom needed to know, we all needed to know so we could help Star.
Star was going to need extensive counseling, I may be young, but even I could see that.
Lord help us to help Star. I love you Lord, and I want to do what is best. I want to help Star, because I know that is what I am called to do.“There’s a lot she didn’t tell you Mom. There’s a lot she didn’t know how to put into words. She only just told me.”
“I knew she was hiding some things. I am glad she is starting to feel safe enough at least to open up to you.”
“Me too Mom. But she has been through so much, how can any little girl endure all the things she went through?”
“It’s a question your Father and I have asked ourselves many times since adopting Star, but she is here for a reason, and we love her.”
“I do too Mom, she is the sister I have been praying for, I just never imagined that she would have to go through all of this. It’s hard to imagine anyone should go through this, let alone a little child.”
“There’s a lot of evil in this world Hope, we can only pray for those committing the evil and try to do our best to help the victims.”
“I know Mom.”
“I wish I could protect you and Star from all the evil in the world, but the fact is Star has probably seen more than anyone of us can imagine. Has endured more than we could begin to imagine.”
“I know Mom, I wish it didn’t have to be this way though.”
“In a perfect world sweetie, but we don’t live in a perfect world. As much as I wish we did, we will not know perfection until we are called home to be with Jesus. Until then we need to do our best to live in this fallen world as a Christian, and help others see the joy of serving the Lord.”
“I can’t seem to get through Star, she doesn’t believe.”
“I’m not surprised Hope but I think in time she is going to come to believe. She grew up in a different world, a world where she knew nothing but fear and evil, and she was taught to believe that God condoned such evil.”
“I know Mom. But I wish she could see that’s not the truth.”
“Me too sweetie, and in time I think she will.”
Lord help me to reach out to Star, help her to see that you love her, and never wanted her to endure the kind of hell she went through. Show her Lord, that what happened to her as a little girl is not her fault. I want Star to see that no one deserves that kind of treatment Lord, help me to continue to reach out to her, and be a good older sister to her, although at times she seems a lifetime older than me.I was trying my hardest to get through to my sister and at times I felt I was, but at others, I could feel the wall going up. I had to learn when not to press an issue, because I was learning that when Star was ready she would talk. I had to let Star come around to it when she was ready, and I knew too that I had to pray about it. All I could do was pray about it.
Lord I thank you for bringing me the sister I prayed for. I know Star has been through a lot, but I know that she is a good person and deserves to be loved. I am so grateful for having her in my life, but I need help getting through to her, this is not a task I can handle on my own,Knowing I was never alone brought me comfort, but I was wondering if Star ever felt any comfort on those days of torture in her not so distant past. I could not imagine what she must have felt like as a little girl. I had lived a rather sheltered life compared to what Star had lived. I had been blessed to have the parents I have, and to grow up where I was safe and loved. I understood now not everyone was as blessed as I was.
You are never alone my child.
Lord I thank you that I am never alone, I thank you for helping me through this. I love you and I praise you. I ask that you give me the energy I need to best help Star, and give her the strength to be able to talk to Mom and Dad about this.
“I agree Mom, I really do think Star needs to talk someone. She has been holding far to much back for far to long, maybe if she were able to talk about it, it would ease the guilt she has been feeling some.”
“I hope something helps Hope, because none of this was her fault. She was only a little girl.”
“I know Mom, and I can never wrap my head around why such evil has to exist.”
“Sweetie I think that is something we all have trouble wrapping our heads around. But that does not lessen God’s love for us.”
“I know that Mom, but I don’t think Star really understands that. I can understand why too.”
“Keep praying for your Sister Hope.”
“I have been Mom, I won’t stop.”
“I know you won’t sweetie, thank you. You are a good sister I knew you would be.”
“Thank you Mom, I have always wanted a sister.”
“I know sweetie, and we wanted to give you a little sister or brother before this, but it just didn’t work out that way. Obviously God wanted us to be Star’s family.”
“I am grateful for that.”
“So am I sweetie.”
“I think we need to talk to Pastor Lee, and see if we can find a reputable Christian Counselor preferably a woman, so Star can talk to someone about this.”