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Claudio Ianora

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Acting God
By Claudio Ianora
Thursday, January 27, 2011

Rated "R" by the Author.

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it is a job.

 

you can be nominated acting god, so mind what you say.

 

I have incubated a nasty tooth infection just in time for Xmas. It has proven resistant to amoxicillin, so I had to stop taking it. Dentist not available, doctor doubtful. Neck glands swollen and very painful , can’t even drown my sorrow in my murky green fairy because I am feverish and nauseous as it is. merry Xmas. So I toss and turn, and half asleep half delirious I decide to go with a tooth infection and blood poisoning. It is not choice but what the heck, pharaohs have gone with it. So I do and I have my face off with God  Eric would be pleased to know. God is very happy to see me, much  happier than I expected ! . So I really let him have it and he laughs and nods in response to my long list of complaints and then,  when I conclude by saying that even a stupid fool like me might have had better results he explodes with joy.

. - Ecce homo! He exclaims, finally one who did not come groveling.

 I think he is as happy as a god can be and I have another of those taken aback moments that are happening with increased frequency in my old age..  I am nervous as I watch him throw a few of his things in sack and then hear him telling me that I am in charge now. That in fact I am acting God until someone else thinks he can do even better.

 - What!!??

- Well that is the way it works. A soon as one stops praying and wants to do something because he firmly believes  that he can do better,  he gets the  chance. I have had mine! He sais swinging his sack over his shoulder and grinning happily. Its all yours now !

- Get back here!

- O no! I have been waiting a long time for this!

- Yeahbut! What am I to do? ,

- Whatever you think you should, you are God now. Ciao!  Then I am alone.
 

- FUCK!

 

 I should not have complained , I should have forgiven Him! I mean, really!..In fact I kind of remember doing it one time or another. Perhaps I didn’t really mean it well enough…
   I woke up in a sweat. Got dressed and took off to emergency at four a.m. Xmas morning. That guy up there will have to wait a little longer because right now anything seems better than being top honcho.
I don’t know if this can be of any use to, but if you get the urge  to forgive God,   make sure you mean it.

 

MY first decree as acting God

The first thing I did when I got trapped into being God was to get rid of the BIG BANG.  I so disliked that flagrantly inane and  a displeasingly impetuous concept that it made it worth while for me being stuck with the responsibility of being  God..

  

                 -BEGONE! 

 

 I replaced it with the BIG BLOOM!

 

  Now that’s more like it! Isn’t IT? . Of course I don’t even need to tell you that all I had to do was to change the time frame. Slow it down from a human time frame which made it appear as a  tremendous blast to a Godly one, which happened to be my unsolicited privilege. Thus I turned  IT into an  elegant, musically maestoso unfolding.

  However what  you may not so easily grasp,  is that in doing so I have reinterpreted all things or- being God the prime cause,  de facto transmuted all.   So, whereas a big bang was perceived as the moment when an infinite amount of energy and matter  packed into the tiniest unit of space conceivable (God included) burst forth into chaos and then slowly assumed  all kinds of forms in an expanding space/time continuum, with the BIG BLOOM -  IT  (The present Condition)  was  created from the simplest and the  least possible concept by continuously and incrementally adding intuitive folds .

 You may not visualize this directly but reverse engineering the universe  using the reductionist method but in a devolving rather than disassembling procedure  you will not wind up with piles of junk of  smaller and smaller  pieces as you go, but you will move to simpler ... simpler and quieter concepts.  eventually you will wind down to contemplate the source of IT all in It’s   simplest duality.  ON/OFF,  BE/NOT BE, ZERO/ONE!   OR  YING-YANG if you like with the element of instability implicitly inherent which like the holy spirit provides the impetus of generating infinite concepts and forms.  It turns out then that the Creator  is omnipotent, omniscient etc. because it is simply irreducible ( hence unstable) and thus  must express itself outwards in becoming and becoming.

 There goes another sleepless night.



 

ps Acting God 3

This short story is rated "PG13" by the Author.

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I,human.

 

  I knew what was the next thing I had to do as acting God. In fact I just realized that it was the first thing I should have done as soon as I got a chance.  I balked. And now I also know that  it would have been be the  only thing I would ever needed to do as regnant. To kill man’s second most sacred cow. Kama. I could just see me breaking into Archive 1 and ripping “The pursuit of happiness”  out of the old parchment. I have this bad old habit. But   what the hell were they thinking? Did they not consider the price?  How can one possibly be happy and be just at the same time?  unless one is just first? Then it would be superfluous. Such  grand foolishness may only go  under the heading of:  “ Things made possible  by omissions”

 So I have been procrastinating.  Haha! Deus Cunctator! But then  what I would be asking would fly in the face of everything that is considered good in life

 So, It was this E-mail that got me going…Mission impossible.

    

 On Sun, Feb 14, 2010 at 8:01 PM, karonne wrote:

 How do I put this??? Do you think there is any harm OUT THERE? Are there forces and influences that can harm, or if it is all illusion (.) anyway, is there always a possibility of screwing up your mind by opening it up to ideas coming from EVIL people.   

   

   I  was just watching an educational  program called " The Great Sperm Race" In which actors interpret the incredible struggle confronting  a quarter of a billion sperms   in the  performance of  their one supreme self  destructing  task.  And I laughed  thinking:  " Gee, we haven't changed a bit!”  The caterpillar and the butterfly are the same thing.  Then  to answer your questions I thought of   Wesley’s  (one of them) passionate rejection, which I  paraphrase  here in lieu of a direct answer,  it is paradoxical and provocative enough to be useful: 

  "To be damned for the things we cannot know !”

   IN one of my recent blogs I have suggested that nature does not promote wisdom, on the contrary it considers it as a deadly virus whose spread would threaten its greatest creation. For that purpose, evolution has provided that "Psychological maturity" be arrested  in us at the  age  of 12-14 , that is to say at the age or puberty.  All the necessary knowledge, expertise, self esteem, self assurance and consequent bearing are added on in time to the psychological framework of an adolescent so that their prime function may be carried out  with reckless vigor and passion.   It is easy to appreciate that this can best be  accomplished at a stage of development when the  subject is not encumbered by a soul well furished with knowledge and good sense.     

  Another piece of the puzzle  that must be considered here is that just as a man cannot be happy and just,  he  cannot have a purpose and be free at the same time!  That is self evident.

  This being so, if man’s  is to know the meaning of his existence it cannot be the expression of his will. And the other way around, if it is man’s  will it cannot be his purpose.  

     These, as you said, may be nothing more than mind games, and the source of the inevitable fallacies such as the idea  that the mind is meant to do anything other than to persuade you- Little Red Riding Hood-  that it is attending to your best interest.  That is the ultimate big bad wolf! right? The better to eat you!  Yet to be truly evil   the big bad wolf  would have to intend  to eat you just to do you harm!  No! I am not prepared to admit that evil is the purpose of life. Or good for that matter! Which would have  the  knight in shining armor fight the dragon not to save you, but in order to risk his life!... Or does he?   How does it go? To seek to save your life is to loose it… and to loose yourself…Mmmh…  Something like that.

    ACH ! What a confusion I make.  I will Go to bed and start all over tomorrow… MAYBE.

  Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow… Oh I give up!

   And  YES DAMN IT!   Yes, evil exists! Out there, in here, and is in total control everywhere!  It has given us a body drugged - a brain bamboozled. It has addicted us to pleasure, love, dreams, hope and all kinds of sweet delusions.  Finally this perfidious genie has DIVIDED and segregated us so that the pursuit of our own pleasure brings us and those with whom we have bonded and give and share our pleasure in conflict with others compelled by the very same desire and conditions.  Evil is uncontested, it is regimenting us, and firing us up with passion  which leads us into fiercely heroic  and bloody campaigns  whereby  its nefarious mission is advanced no matter which side prevails.  And it does all this by the simplest of stratagems!  Promising us  happiness  and investing us with righteousness and frm in our  belief that the pursuit of happiness is our God given right, That indeed God rejoices in our  happiness! Where else but in hell could we have obtained such conviction? Somehow happiness ( or the means to it) is dealt as a commodity , something one is justified to fight and to kill for.  as if it were an object, a  territory.  

 And NO DAMN IT! I Cannot prove intent!  So far as I know it is only “I, human”  that can do evil or good! Which makes me not only unique in nature but a Demiurge trying unsuccessfully so far to work my way up to demigod and ultimately  to  Godship. TO SHIVA!  Yes, yes, YES! I want to Be the Dancing one! With the third eye as bright as the noon sun,  blinding  kama and  finally reducing it to ashes! Then only, when I have destroyed desire, I shall be free! 

   Is it any wonder that we are procrastinating?

 That to err is divine temptation?

 That we doggedly strive to make of this our perfect hell?

   NO!  The mind “game” will go on, until either will or purpose will be laid dead.

  



 

Acting God kicking ass.
By Claudio Ianora
Last edited: Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Posted: Monday, April 12, 2010

This short story is rated "PG13" by the Author.

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Quantum life and the shame of creation.

 

 

   As acting God,  I will then march  kicking asses - Every   Sabbath charlatan, starting with my favorites,   all the way to  the Sick Children’s Hospital . Yeah! As acting God I could do that! I would be known as the Lotus with a thousand kicking boots! The Shullers, ah sweet tearful Swaggart, icky-oint Chopra, Barby doll Pope Benedict  and the Dodolai Lama. And I will command  them to perform for Me – God,  their  Lord is love  Rah-Rah routine in a ward of  suffering and dying children.  Alleviate even if  a tithe their pain and terror or match the same uplifting effect on this congress as what they weekly achieve with  the pampered affluent in the ostentatiously  choreographed  splendor of their  temple stages Or I swear I will make them all dumb and blind just as they should be. Explain to me your Lord why I should not be able to help a child that cannot be helped by anyone else in the world? Explain why I should let even  one innocent child suffer!  Indeed , you God damned idiots, why should even a  mite or a worm die in pain?  Goddamn phony bastards! Yet I would be partly faking  my Acting God indignation, because though I despise all those who preach,  they are not the  problem. Dim witted and lazy people are  happy to  settle for mumbo jumbo theater rather than even think of venturing   into intractable and admittedly unproductive territory of metaphysics. 95% of people (according to the movie : “ Contact”) believe in an ineffable, inscrutable, intractable Deity who created this whole mess. 95 PER CENT! Can You believe that? Of course to my way of thinking this impressive statistic should be interpreted as a strong indication that the Deity they believe in cannot exist precisely because they so firmly and almost unanimously believe in it. And in no way, as long as I am Acting God will I allow a world , not even a small world, not even a small principality up on the tip of a hill on a small world,  to be unanimously right about anything. The whole goddamn thing would rock and fall somewhere, Sir Gamateus would be out of a job and even God- irrelevant. And that would be that.   It is imperative and ultimately the only condition for this Chaos to achieve a spark of purity which might ignite the whole cosmos with a redemptive light that this intolerable situation be maintained if not even exacerbated  in order to provoke one! One soul, one mind one sentient living entity, one impatient disgusted being even  to burst! So it isn’t that difficult for me to understand (finally) Why I should have been chosen and not a Galahad, Ttristan or someone even purer, Bush maybe… no, Hell No Reagan!  But no, It makes sense that the task, the greatest of all quest in fact should fall upon a quixotic bungling fool whose only outstanding quality is not any of the classic noble values but a doggedly GoDamn all attitude that would balk at nothing. Not death , not Hell, Not God!

 Sir Gameteus! TATAAA!    

That Is why all religions- so far  as I know- totally fail to put into text  the unexplainable and unacceptable tragedy of a helpless suffering child. Faith thrives only in the fields of omissions as I said. Not one enlightened man, not the compassionate Buddha, not sweet loving Jesus  not  Christ, the Roman Superman . Not Socrates, not the Tao. No religion or philosophy has ever attempted to deal with a single case of a 5 or 6 year old child being destroyed by cancer! It means that we have found no conventional logic or any other means to deal with it, and that therefore both religion and philosophy have so far no legitimate role to play in man’s quest to fully complement creation! It appears that we must look elsewhere or at the same scene but with carefully averted vision.

  Why must there be suffering?  Pain! A child’s pain alters the value of time. The cosmos’ grandeur is reduced to blowing irrelevant litter.   The Universe recoils in shame! And reason, reason asphyxiates in a miasma of meaningless prattle.

 

This is not a job for the great tradition, not for the hero, the pure, the saint, the redeemer  not even for God. It is the job for the biggest most arrogant,  unyielding  fearless son of a bitch ever.  One that just can't take it anymore... No! One that just will not take it anymore ! ....

 



 

 

 

       Web Site: Acting God

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Reviewed by Gerald Tate 7/7/2012
You are obviously a very intelligent man Claudio, but a man I feel who is full of inner turmoil. These writings i'm sure would go over most people's head, as they have mine. However, somewhere inside parts of these statements there are a lot of truths. I suppose w'll all find out when we die what the hell it was all about. In the meantime we must all try and find tolerance and pity for our fellow man. I hope God can forgive me for forty years of drinking.

Best, Gerry
Reviewed by Terry Rizzuti 1/28/2011
Claudio, I hereby appoint you "acting god."


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