I don't know what I would do if I didn't have God in my life.
I count on Him for everything. If there is one thing I do have, it's faith. I have a very strong faith, and I trust in God for all my needs.
Take for example, raising our daughter, Hayli, who has special needs. She cannot walk or talk, and she has always been like this, ever since she was born. She is one of the happiest children we have ever met, and if it were not for her, I don't know what I would do, especially since Kurt (my husband) walked out on us because, as he put it, "he couldn't deal with Hayli's medical needs".
It was a very bad time in my life, and at times I still grieve, but God has given me a sense of peace and comfort that passes all understanding.
I also have my mother, who has been a godsend when Hayli has taken sick and/or ended up in the hospital. When I am at the hospital with Hayli, she is at home, taking care of my other child, Hayden, who is ten. (Hayli is fourteen.)
I feel bad for Hayden because he doesn't have his dad in his life, but I try to help him with his homework or try to be there for him when he is having a bad day or is feeling left out because of Hayli. When I am at the hospital, I call him just to tell him that I love him, and that I wish I could be there for him, but right now, Hayli needs me.
I know Hayden understands, and I also know that he wishes he had a sister who could talk to him or play gin rummy or video games with him. He feels sad that Hayli is handicapped, but when he is with her, he takes very good care of her. I couldn't be more pround of Hayden; he has proven to be a responsible, loving "big" brother who loves his special sister unconditionally.
In additon to providing us grace, mercy, and compassion, God also provides us the money we need when we seem to need it the most (bills, particularly medical ones, tend to eat it all up; we often end up with more month than money), and He also provides us with food, friends, and extra help. God has always been merciful towards our little family, and it's helped to bolster my faith when I feel it is sagging the most.
I sometimes rage at God because of Hayli, but I know He made her this way for a reason. Maybe He made Hayli a child with special needs as a way to test our faith, to see if we trust in Him "in all things". We do, but sometimes it is so hard, especially when Hayli is in the hospital or is just being bad (such as when she bites or screams nonstop).
Well, I have to run along: Hayli is up; I hear her cooing in her room. I'd best get her changed and then dressed, and also give her her "breakfast" (she is fed by a tube). I will write in here again soon with more stories about our family, in particaular our children. Until then, this is Marvalene Doucet saying so long and God bless!
~Your new friend in Louisiana, Marvalene. :)