24 February 2011

Dear Friends:

Thank you for all the calls and messages of condolence. I appreciate all of you and your concerns

I am in so much undue pain at this time. I blink and I cry, I think and I cry; I truly miss my brother. I fell asleep on my flight and when I awoke, for just a moment I thought it was a bad dream. But it wasn't. He is really gone and I cannot believe I will never see his smile again. You wont google him and find him appearing fabulous and well spoken or popular by design. The words simple and kind are perfect adjectives for him. He needed for nothing. All he wanted was a little space, a few meals and lots of sunshine and fresh air. He had celebrated 20 years of sobriety, when he gave his life to Allah, under his muslim belief. I had so much adoration and respect for that, because he just woke up one day and decided he didnt want to be a prisoner or slave to anything else anymore and he let the alcohol go; cold turkey and never looked back. He was a strict vegan, an avid reader and lover of philosophy. He could quote all the greats and that fascinated me because I don't typically quote others much. He did not attend any formal college, he didn't have great experiences in High school; the quiet kid that was sometimes bullied, so that was enough for him. But he lacked no intellignce, He taught me how to make volcanos that erupted, how to train our birds, how to breed frogs and fish, how to ride a horse, how ride a skateboard, how to play softball, how to play basketball, how to do magic tricks, how to hotwire a car if I lost my keys, how to change the car battery and change the oil, how to appreciate the sunset and a full moon, how to read the stars, and how to make pancakes and eggs.

He had no children, but he was the greatest uncle in the world. He would buy something for ths kids and wrap it up in the comic strips so he could share the funnies with each of them as they unwrapped their gifts. He had a long term girlfriend, after his only wife died; losing her when he was so young really changed his opinion of marriage.

He loved animals, but especially dogs! Always opening  his home to a rescue pup. Even though he never told me, I am glad that when he realized he was sick, he placed each one in the home of his friends. The best big brother a little girl could ask for. I looked up to him and as a child, I thought he knew everything. I spoke to him to wish a happy birthday

 a couple of weeks ago. I left him a message to let him know I was leaving the states for awhile and heading home to Portugal. He didn't call me back, but I didn't think much of it because sometimes we can get busy in our lives. But he was very ill. He hid it from me. He perished three days ago to cancer, in a medical center in Los Angeles County.

I received the telegram yesterday.

He was 49 years old. I realize I havent mentioned his name. We called him Junior.

That was his preference; so you may refer to him the same.

Since he is pain free now, I can accept Junior's transition a little better. Such a great brother didnt deserve to suffer, so I am happy he is pain free and whole now. But my selfish natural being will miss him being physically present in my life. And I am angry and sad that he didn't let me be there for him in his very last days. Don't ever do that to your loved ones.

Dear Junior, I will stop crying one day; But I will love you forever...Rest In Peace Beloved

Continue to pray that the devestation will soon pass

I do love all of you, but I need a little time before I can reach out again

 Rene Reyes

In Lieu of flowers, please donate something to PETA www.peta.org