Hello. It's me, Matilda Abrams. Up until now, you didn't know me by name.
I'm the lady who lost three of her limbs from a very nasty case of bacterial meningitis: an arm and both legs. They'd turned black from gangrene. Doctors had no choice but to amputate. They had to do this in order to save my life. I was that close to death.
I have been having a very hard time trying to accept my situation. At first I was extremely bitter, but I am slowly, but surely, getting my life back, one day at a time. It isn't easy, but I am getting there, bit by little bit.
I am now at a rehab facility. Here, the therapists have been working with me to teach me how to do things with just one limb: brushing my teeth (that's not too bad), brushing my hair (same), getting dressed, getting to and from my wheelchair (that is a joke!). Most of the time I have Bryce carry me. Getting to and from my bed is no picnic, either.
Now they're teaching me how to write (opposite hand, but I am now writing, nevertheless), and feeding myself.
I am usually too busy to feel sorry for myself, but when I am alone or in bed for the night, the pity party starts in earnest. I don't know how the children are going to take seeing me like this.
I feel like I'm only half of a person. I don't see how they will accept me once they see me. Bryce has been telling them about what's happened to me, their mother, but I don't think it has really sunk in yet until they see me.
What will they see? A monster, or their mother? That's what's scaring me the most.
I am trying to trust in G-d about this, but it's so damned hard! There isn't a day where I don't cry; it is a wonder I have any tears left from all the crying sessions I've had ever since I woke up from my coma!
I really don't know when I will be leaving here, but one thing is for certain: I just want to get back home, to my family, and I want to have my arm and my legs back (though I know that's impossible)!
~To be continued.~