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J C Howard

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Member Since: Mar, 2011

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Pennies or Pounds
By J C Howard
Saturday, May 14, 2011

Rated "G" by the Author.

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This is not a statement about our current education system. It's simply an observation of our current standards.

"I'll take a small chocolate cone please."
 
The young face looked puzzled. "We only have medium and large, mamn."
 
I tip my head slightly and let my lips bow into a gentle smile asking, "Which is smaller?"
 
"The medium is small," she said as her brow furrows, not quite understanding the question.
 
"Then give me the small," I said, thinking how clever I was.
 
Without hesitation, she repeated, "We only have medium and large, mamn."
 
I paused. But, my desire for a chocolate cone overcame me and I... "blinked" first. "That's fine, make mine a medium."
 
Not realizing she had won, she turns to the register, punches a button and pleasantly says, "That's $1.87 mamn."
 
I search in my purse, wanting to lighten my load a bit, I find a nickle and seven pennies. I smile, give her the change, then add two one dollar bills.
 
With a most sincere look, she says, "That's too much mamn," handing me back my change but clutching tightly to the dollars.

She punches the keys on the register as I respond,  "I just want a quarter back, please."

"Mamn, your change is .13 cents." She squints repulsively, thinking I am trying to cheat her.
 
I add her dime and three pennies to my already burdensome collection of change, then wrapping my tongue around the smooth chocolate, I think...whether it's pennies or pounds... there's always a cost.

 

 

 

 

 

 


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Reviewed by Laurel Lamperd 7/28/2011
Yes, well your brush with the cashier was interesting. The cash register does everything down to the amount of change to return to the customer. Magic machines which Commerce would collapse without. Laurel
Reviewed by Eileen Granfors 5/26/2011
We have family stories about these cashier moments too. Well told! And frightening. I computed a purchase discount in my head and the clerk asked "How'd you do that?" I told her it was magic. I think she believed me.
Reviewed by Robert Cosmar 5/17/2011
I agree with CJ, this is wonderful -- and way too funny. Hard to believe there are people as dumb as this.
Bob
Reviewed by CJ Heck 5/15/2011
(Clapping) This is wonderful, JC! I've had cashiers with the same ... er, superior intelligence as this one (laughing). Very well done -- flash-fiction at its best!
Hugs,
CJ




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Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part IV by Jay Dubya

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