2:32 A.M Nashville TN
I can not sleep so I figured it was time I write again.
I know at times I put on this brave front like nothing that happened to me ever gets to me, but Yeshua knows just how wrong that is.
I try to remain postive though, because Yeshua has carried me far.
Five years ago I became a double amputee due to my pain insentivity disorder and a year later, I became paralyzed in an accident, temporarily loosing the use of my arms. Praising Yeshua that it was only temporary.
I do have my struggles though, and at times I have my questions.
Having to decide to never dance again was difficult, but when it came time I was able to do it.
Still sometimes it seems this pain insentivity disorder has stripped alot from me.
When I was little and the diagnosis first came, I was constantly monitored, my hands mittened at night so I didnt bite my fingers till they bled when my teeth were coming in.
I did not even feel that pain.
I grew up with the shadows of a disease that is really not understand.
People tend to think not feeling pain is a good thing, but the fact is it can be a dangerous thing.
It has nearly taken my life, but as I have grown older, I have learned to adapt and do things differently.
Still I have struggles.
I wonder sometimes what life would have been like without this condition.
But I am not going to spend my life dwelling on it. I am going to live my life and embrace it.
And before long I am going to be a married women, Yeshua is good.